Hindrances

Chapter 1

It has been two weeks.
Two weeks, ridden with anxiety and sleepless nights.
The bags under my eyes have become so dark, it looks like someone punched me.
Right now, I had to get my mind off of all those memories.
I was actively searching for a secretary. Interviews have been going on all week. About eighty per cent of the men refused to work for a woman, so they walked out.
That was no loss of mine.
Another fifteen per cent couldn't read or write. Those skills are necessary to a secretary, so I had to tell them no. The other five per cent were "too close to my own age," according to Mr Lancaster. While he wasn't there during the interviews, he saw everything from his office. I asked Mr Lancaster why I couldn't hire someone close to my age, but he only said that he didn't trust them. I shrugged and went with it, even though I didn't understand. Any man could try to take advantage of me, no matter how old they were, so why was Mr Lancaster only singling out the men my age? Mr Lancaster probably just had my best interest in mind, right? I had every reason to not trust strange men right now. Not even Connor could touch me without me breaking down. I know it hurt his heart, but I couldn't control it. The only person who could get close to me was Mr Lancaster and Michael St. Laurent.
Michael did stop by once last week to check in on me. Mr Lancaster didn't like that, but then I scolded him and invited Michael in. I reminded Mr Lancaster that it was Michael that helped- no, saved me.
Even Officer Hansen stopped by. He told me that he had heard rumors that I was hurt, so he wanted to see how I was doing. I was nervous about that. Rumors? Did everyone know? Officer Hansen calmed me and told me no, it was not common knowledge, and that he had heard of it through the St. Laurents. I was at more ease with Michael, but if Officer Hansen tried anything, Mr Lancaster was only a few doors away.
Nothing bad happened though. With both Michael and Officer Hansen, we sat down in my office, had some tea, and talked for only about half an hour.
I didn't want to be known as the broken girl, so I always had a smile on my face. I was certain that no one knew what was really going on, except for Mr Lancaster.
Mr Lancaster has been sleeping with me in my bed every night. I think my nightmares wake him up, so staying with me would mean he could get back to sleep faster. He never talked, or told me to be quiet. His silence said enough for me.
There was a knock at my door.
"Enter," I said confidently.
A man entered. Not really a man though, a boy. He looked about 15 years old. He had short, light brown hair (but long enough for me to notice that he needed to comb it out) and soft brown eyes. Something about his facial features looked distinctly Slavic.
I liked him immediately.
"Hemmings?" The boy asked with a slight accent.
"That would be me. Sit."
I watched as he moved awkwardly. He was tall, but it looked like he still had some more growing to do, since it seemed like he still hadn't completely grown into his body. His slightly large ears were a testament to that. He was rather thin, but a few good meals could fix that right up. A little bit of facial hair stubbled his chin unevenly. He might have been proud of it though, since he was so young, but he could grow it.
"You're interested in being my secretary, I presume?" I didn't want to do my "big bad businesswoman" voice, but I decided to do it a little, just to see how he could handle it.
"Yes Mrs Hemmings."
Was his accent Russian? Maybe Polish?
I smiled at him.
"It's just Miss Hemmings. Tell me what your name is."
"Casimir Nikolovich... Um, Bezukhov. Nikolovich is my middle name."
So, Polish first name and Russian last name. However, if he instinctively introduced me with his middle name, that probably meant he was Russian, and Nikolai must have been his father's name.
"You're Russian, aren't you?"
"Yes. Most people think I'm Polish because my first name is Casimir. I am, more specifically, considered a Ruska Roma."

So he is Russian, and a little Polish with some German as well.

"Ah, I understand."

He's a gypsie. Gypsies aren't bad, right?

"Anyway, Mr Bezukhov-"
"Please, Miss, just Casimir. Or Cas," the boy said eagerly.
I smiled a little more genuinely.
"I would like to call you Cas. Anyway, can you read and write?"
"Yes, in English, Russian, Polish, and German."
"Hence the Ruska Roma."
"Well, er, yes..."
"I like you, Cas, and I would like it if you were my secretary. How old are you?"
"16."
"Family?"
"Yes, but it's... Complicated. I need this job to care for my sister and mother."
Cas didn't show any pain, but I knew he was hurting.
I can ask about his father later.
"Here's what I'll do, Cas." I steepled my fingers (like I have seen Mr Lancaster do) and leaned forward to show interest (again, a classic Lancastarian move). "I think we'll work very well together, so I'll start your salary off a bit higher than normal."
His eyes gleamed with happiness.
"Miss Hemmings! Thank you!"
"When can you start?" I said, laughing slightly.
"Now!"
"Oh, wow, uh, alright. I was going to do this, but since you're so eager..."
I got up and patted a pile of files that were starting to rise up in the corner. It when up to my waist. In general, that wasn't too much. If I stacked all of Mr Lancaster's files, it would probably go from the floor to the ceiling at least ten times.
"You can come up with your own organization system for these. Your office is attached to mine, through that door." I pointed and handed him a key.
"Yes ma'am! Right away!"
"Feel free to make your office more your's, yes? Fix it up how ever you'd like."
"Gladly, Miss Hemmings! But I'll do that later, since these files take priority!"
Wow, he was only three years younger than me. How did he have so much life in him? Or maybe it was me that was just lacking life?
Perhaps his overabundance of life and my lack of life will reach an equilibrium, and then there would be an average amount of life between the two of us.
There was another knock on the door.
"The secretary position has been filled," I called.
"I know, Miss Hemmings."
Ah, Mr Lancaster. My heart still seemed to skip a beat when he was around. I might have developed some feelings for him...?
No way. It wasn't even a possibility. I shook my head to clear the thought away.
"Okay then, sir. Come in."
He entered confidently, but I could tell that he was about to say something he didn't want to.
"This just arrived in my post. Allow me to read it to you."
"Alright."
"Dear Sir,