Unedited
I called in sick for the last few weeks, Christmas break was coming to an end yet I still hadn't left my dorm room, only when I would need to use the shower or grab food from the cafeteria.
It was unhealthy but it was how I coped, Dan and Hannah tried to get through to me but I just couldn't talk to them, I couldn't relive that whole situation again.
And as far as Lucy, well I hope she dies. And I hope the rest of that group die in skank hell with her.
I was sat in my room wrapped underneath my blankets, and I took the time to reflect on myself. I wasn't one to wallow but my life seemed to be going down on this non existent roller coaster I saw myself on, from everything with Harry, the incident with Reese, my parents, college stress and now this.
I didn't know if I had anymore fight left in me.
My phone started to ring as I got lost in my thoughts. I answered without bothering to check who it was, I was pretty sure It'd be Dan or Hannah.
"Good afternoon Ella" Mr Styles voice bounces off the phone and I mentally groan.
"Good afternoon sir" I cough, my voice sounding groggy from sleep.
"Ella, I see you've called in sick again" he sounds disappointed and I want to scream and yell what's happened to me but instead I sigh.
"I'm sorry, I've just been going through a tough time"
"I'm afraid that's not valid Ella, I need an employee who is consistent and-"
"Fine, I'll come in today"
"There's no need-"
"I said I'm coming sir" and with that I put the phone down and let out an exaggerated breath.
I force myself out of bed, I put on a pair of trousers, a blouse and my shoes. I tie my hair into a ponytail and as I'm about to leave with my bag my hands start to shake.
My hand instantly fumbles with my phone and I call the first person I know would help.
"Dan" I breathe.
"Yes El?"
"Come over please"
"I'm in the cafeteria, I'll be right up" my hearts falls back in it's palace and I sigh with relief.
Moments later Dan arrives and his face drops, my eyes were red and tear stained and I couldn't keep myself still.
"Ella, baby-"
"I-I have to go work but I-I--" I stop and take a deep breath. "I'm scared Dan"
"Come here" he grabs me. "When's the last time you left this room?"
"Almost three weeks" I sob into his chest and he soothes me.
"All because of that bastard" Dan mutters.
"You're not going work ok" he says to me and I shake my head frantically.
"B-but"
"No I'll sort it, and I'm moving in with you" he states and my mouth falls open. "I'm not leaving you in here to shut yourself out Ella, Drew has everything coming to him"
The sound of that name made want to puke and cry.
"W-what do you mean?" I ask Dan timidly and he tucks me back into my bed.
"You'll see" he whispers faintly and kisses my forehead.
~
Mr Styles sent me an unexpected get well soon message which I ignored.
The evening consist of Dan loading his things in my room and unpacking, as well as being a little excited I was scared. I didn't know if I was ready for this level of contact.
"Dan, please tell me what you meant when you said you'd sort it" I begged, I didn't want my name being thrown across mud.
"Nothing" he smiles.
"Does everyone know?" I ask frightfully.
"Know what?" He says obliviously and it makes me mad.
"That your friend raped me" I say bluntly and stare into his eyes, he gulps.
"He's not my friend and yes, after the.. incident, Claire ended the party and word got around"
"Where is he? Where's Lucy" I ask sorrowfully and he walks over to me and pulls me in a hug.
"The college kicked them out after what happened" he says and I nod. "That reminds me, Miss Kennedy said you haven't been attending her therapy sessions"
"I don't need therapy" I say bitterly.
"It might help"
"I'm not deranged"
"No one said that"
"You're implying it" I roll my eyes.
"It's ok to ask for help you know"
"Dan" I take his hand and he looks at me with all the care in the world. "Thank you so much"
"I haven't done anything- I wish I could just take all your pain away but I know I can't and I know I keep saying this but time will heal everything El, I promise"
"Remember when we kissed that night" I say and he furrows his brows.
"I-I don't expect anything like that from you ok"
"Am I your girlfriend? And this time not pretend" I ask and he looks at me for a minute as if he's thinking.
"Yh" he smiles gently. "I guess if you want to, but I don't want you to feel pressured-"
"I feel protected" I snuggle into his chest and he kisses my head lightly.
"I swear, I'm going to try and take all your pain away Ella" he promises and I feel a teardrop fall on to me, I hold him tighter and we stay like that for a while.
You'd think I was crazy but finally after almost a month of pain and suffering that no words could explain, I found something that made me smile, even if it was just for a few seconds.
