Chapter 21

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One month.

It's been one month since Harry broke up with me. I haven't heard anything from him. Not even a single text or phone call... nothing.

Each day gets harder. Each day the pain in my chest gets a little bit sharper, the throbbing in my head gets a little bit louder, the thud of my heart gets a little bit weaker... Each day the dark cloud of death glooming over my head grows larger.

This time is different than when I thought my dad was dead though. This time I have to go on with my life. I have to continue my job and continue hanging out with friends... I have to build a fake barrier and pretend like everything is okay... but it's not. I have to smile and try to look alive, but really...

I've never felt so dead.

*Harry's POV*

One month

It's been one month since I... broke up with Sydney... Well since I was forced to break up with Sydney. Every second since that phone call, I have spent in pain. Complete physical pain.

No matter how depressed and upset I am, I'm usually able to pull off a great performance. Not now, though. I can't even pull out a smile. Each time we sing You and I or Little things, I end up having to leave the stage because I'm crying so hard. And it makes me feel even worse because I feel like I'm letting the fans down... and the boys. They all try and cheer me up, but they can't... nothing can... nothing can get rid of the constant ache in my chest. Nothing can get rid of the sharp pain in my heart that I feel every time I take a breath. Nothing but Sydney...

I just need to hear her... I need to know if she's okay... but I can't. There is no way that I can contact her...

Emily said she was surprising me with a new phone. She said she switched over all the information from my old phone onto my new one... but, convientently, she forgot one thing... Sydney's phone number.

"You ready, mate?" Louis asks as he walks into the dressing room.

We are in New York City right now for an interview. Actually, we are going to be on Ellen. Yes, one of the largest, televised interview shows. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through this. I know there are going to be tons of questions about my behavior... and I know I'm not going to be able to answer them without breaking down.

I just shake my head as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"You can do it... be strong" Louis says as he pats me on the back "we have to go now"

I rub the tear off of my cheek and stand up. We both walk back stage.

"Okay guys, that's your cue." the stage manager says.

We all nod and the door opens.

We all walk out and are greeting with a cheering audience.

"Hello guys!" Ellen says as we walk over and sit on the couch.

I'm trying so hard to smile right now... but I can't.

After countless questions about our tour and the new album we are working on, the attention is turned to me.

"So Harry, you've been so upset lately, what happened?" she asks me with a concerned look on her face.

Here it is... the question that I have been dreading. Before I know it, tears are pouring down my cheeks. My head is throbbing and spinning at the same time. I can't take this. I stand up and run backstage. My vision starts to blur as my eyes fill up with tears. I have to get out of here. I look around frantically, and finally find the back exit. I quickly make my way to the door and push it open. It's pouring rain right now, so I pull my jacket over my head and run... and run... I don't even know where I'm going...

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