Unconditionally (Harry Styles)

Chapter 17

1 WEEK LATER****

I've been laying in my bed for a week straight now, just listening to the deep thud of my aching heart on my chest.

My mom comes into my room.

"Sydney, I got a call from some of the people that worked with your dad... they said his body was lost in war"

Oh great... more bad news. It's okay though, I'm used to the pain.

I continue staring at my hands that are folded in my lap.

"Do you think we should have a funeral still?" she asks.

I honestly don't know. If they did have a funeral, I don't know that I would go. I don't know if I would be physically capable of attending my own fathers funeral.

I shrug my shoulders.

She sighs. "Okay, well I guess I'll call someone and ask for their opinion." she says as she walks out of my room.

I feel bad for not talking to her still. But I just can't... I physically can't.

She comes back in my room an hour or so later. Her eyes are red and puffy.

"Sydney, I can't do it" she cries.

I want nothing more than to comfort her right now. But I don't know how.

"I love him so much and I feel like he needs a proper go away cerimony, but I cant... I just can't." She cries.

"It's okay Mom" I get the words out.

"Are you sure?" she asks, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Yes, I'm sure" I say.

Yes, I agree that he needs a proper go away. But, neither of us could do it.

It would be too painful.

1 MONTH LATER****

It's been a month. A month since my dad died. A month since Harry left. A month of torture and complete depression. Yes, I talk to Harry all of the time, but it's not the same when he isn't in my presence. It's not the same when I can't feel his warm and gentle touch. It's not the same when I can't smell his wonderful, unique smell. It's not the same when I can't fuel myself with the power of his lips on mine. It's far from the same. In fact, it almost feels like our relationship is nonexistent.

I have spent the last month... well... depressed. I stay in bed all day, only getting up to go to the bathroom. I try to eat, but most of it just comes back up. I'm sick, mentally and physically. I'm in pain.

I'm lost.

*Harry's POV*

This past month has been torture. The pain in my chest grows each day that I'm away from her. I cry myself to sleep every night... literally. I'm usually a strong person, but when I'm away from Sydney, I'm weak... really weak.

"You okay mate?" Liam asks.

I realize I'm sitting on my bed in tears.

"Will this ever stop?" I ask.

"What?" He asks.

"The pain." I say, tears rolling down my cheeks.

He sighs. "You know what?" he says.

"What?" My voice cracks.

"I have never seen you so in love. The love that you and Sydney share is so special. It's inspiring. It's the love that everybody dreams about having."