the darkness inside us ; multiship

one

so i've been writing this on ao3 for a while now, and i thought i would start posting it on here for people who don't follow me there to read!

it was originally going to be a mental hospital au, but i decided to go with a group home because i felt like it would be less restricting. it's gonna be a story about finding yourself and learning to love after tragedy, which means it is gonna be pretty heavy at times. i'm gonna try to make it less heavy and more fluffy, but when backstories and mental illness come up, there are gonna be a lot of dark parks. i'll put trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter, and you can always message me on tumblr (theghostofashton) for a quick, untriggering synopsis of the chapter.

this chapter isn't too bad, but trigger warning for mentions of suicide, anxiety, and panic attacks.

i hope you enjoy.

Alex climbs out of the taxi and slams the door shut behind him, fixated on the large building in front of him.

Home sweet home? Hardly.

He can't believe this is happening. He can't believe this is his life now.

Everything is different. He's been forced out of his comfort zone way before he was ready and it's terrifying. He knows it's for the best; he'd much rather be here than where he was living before, but that doesn't make it any less scary. That doesn't make his heart go any slower and his hands stop shaking. His anxiety is through the roof and it only worsens when the driver sets his suitcase down next to him and motions toward the door.

"You good, kid?" His voice is gruff and Alex knows it's not meant to be harsh but his increasing heart rate and cold, clammy hands say otherwise. He jerks and nods, grabbing the suitcase handle and swinging his duffel bag over his shoulder.

He hears the taxi drive off as he starts walking up the stairs and breathes a sigh of relief. Knowing that the driver was watching him walk up to the house and seeing how badly he was shaking was starting to freak him out even more.

He stops on the porch and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

It's gonna be okay.

This is a good thing.

He can't hurt you anymore.

He repeats those three phrases in his head, and they soon become the mantra that calms him and propels him to ring the doorbell. The sound startles him and he jumps, bringing a hand to his chest. He can feel his heart racing like it's about to beat out of his chest.

The door swings open and he's faced with a boy who looks a bit younger than him, but just as tall. His hair is fire engine red and he's wearing a baggy Iron Maiden shirt and black skinny jeans with converse.

Alex forces a smile. "I, um, I'm new? Alex Gaskarth?"

The boy nods and turns his head to call into the house. "Jordan, new kid's here!"

He steps back and holds the door open wider. "I'm Michael, by the way. But you can call me Mikey, everyone does."

Alex lifts his suitcase over the threshold and stares in wonder at the interior of the house.

It's gorgeous.

It's bright and airy with skylights and high ceilings and pale blue walls and it's everything Alex ever imagined growing up in. It's like what you imagine the interior of one of those white picket fence houses to be like, cluttered in a charming way, the walls covered in pictures of the kids, a fireplace going in the background...