More Than This

Drunk in Love

My hand is trembling and still stinging from the impact.  I should have punched Harry instead. That might have felt better.

I can't believe I let my emotions get the better of me. Harry. Harry does that to me. And still, I could not seem to let go of my feelings for him. No amount of hiding from him seem to have cured me.

"I deserved that." Harry says as he rubs his left cheek.

"So what's your excuse now, for kissing me AGAIN while you are with someone else?" I say as I walk away from him. I'm reminded of how I met Harry and how it led to a similar situation. "You seem to do this a lot, I wonder if you did the same when we were together." There, a cheap shot from me. I want to be petty. I deserve to be one now.

"Alex," Harry catches up with me and hugs me from behind, his arms around my shoulders. "Baby, I'm so sorry for being such a dick. Please let me explain." Harry's body, when it is too close to mine, messes up my cognitive skills. He's like a malware that fucks up the program in me.

I held his arms so I could be free from him, but he does not budge.

"Please, stay. I want you to hear me out. Don't walk away. I cannot live another minute with you deliberately ignoring me. I know you will if we do not talk about it now." He knows me too well.

"Ok, but please let go of me first." I swat his arm. He releases me and I turn around to face him.

"I'm not really sorry that I kissed you." I raise my brow in response. "I, uhm, have been wanting to do that since I saw you at the airport. It just hit me, you know, how much I missed you." I feel like his green eyes are staring past me and into my soul.

"I guess," he continues. "It just felt right."

Yes. It really did feel right. But not after when he just said that he is seeing someone else. I know I heard that part right.

"But I'm sorry that I should have been more honest, about me in a relationship. I'm sorry. I know this sounds bad." Harry pleads. His eyes not leaving mine. "I know we've had history about this," he chuckles. "But no, I never did that to you. Not to you, love. Please believe me."

I'm confused. Honestly. I want to believe him and yet I want to slap him again. How is that possible?

"But you can't deny it. I can feel it. No, I know it." Harry steps closer. "After all these times, I still love you, baby, and I hope you do, too." He whispers to my ear.

The hairs at the back of my neck stand up. An undeniable wanting takes over me. Be still my heart. You're still angry, remember?

"Don't look at me that way." He smirks. Fucking mind reader. "Stop biting your lip. I might not have that much self control now."

I feel my whole body tingle in anticipation.

"Does your silence mean you have forgiven me?" Harry steps closer.

Fuck you, Harry. My mind says. And yet my heart shouts, Yeah. Fuck. Harry.

"Should I forgive you?" I ask this boy whom I love and hate at the same time.

Harry steps closer gently takes both my arms and puts them in his shoulders. Like a dazed person who is drunk in love, I willingly oblige. Harry rests his forehead against mine. "It's up to you, baby." He whispers to lips.

I close my eyes and sigh deeply. The heart never forgets, regardless of the layers of mask you force it to wear.  I nod my head in concurrence. Yes, i choose to forgive Harry.

"Have you been with anyone when we weren't together?" I got surprised by Harry's question.

"No," I quickly admit with a soft laugh. "Unlike you, Mr. Styles, I'm a prude." Harry chuckles in response. "It's just you, Harry. It has always been just you since we first got together." I say seriously. Heat creeps on my face.

Harry puts his hand at the small of my back and pulls me closer to him. Our bodies touch and I can feel electrcity flowing all over me, building up in the pit of my stomach. He gives me a gentle wet kiss and his tongue swipes my lips. It's tender and inviting, something that I don't have the will to resist. I step forward, without breaking our kiss, until he sits on the couch and I straddle on his lap. I like the feeling of being in control.

"Whoa," Harry smirks. "I thought you were a prude Ms. Collins?" He says as he traces a line from my neck down to the garter of my shorts where he playfully pulls down slighty.

"You're an exception. I smirk at him as I put my hand between his legs and gently grab him. He looks at me with hooded eyes. I run my hands slowly up to his torso, skimming through his nipples, and up to his neck then to his head. I run fingers my through his soft hair and he tilts his head with his eyes closed. I nip the skin of his neck going slowly till I reach that spot where he moans and his fingers dig deep on my thighs.

"Fuck," he breathes. "You miss me that much, huh?" He says staring at my eyes. His pupils are dilated with desire, just as mine.

Harry slips his hands beneath my shirt and he smirks when he finds out I'm braless. He swipes his thumb on my already hard nipples. I gasp at his touch and he smirks at me, looking very satisfied with my reaction. He continues to circle his thumb and gently pinches it with his forefinger. I shut my eyes tight as the familiar ache grows between my thighs. "Harry," I could barely speak his name. It has been long. Too fucking long. I grind against his bulge. This sends both of us to the edge as we exchange sloppy kisses. Harry kisses my neck down to the base of my neck. He repeatedly sucks the skin and swirls his tongue to soothe it. I let out another gasp. Harry slides his hands against my breast down to my stomach to the hem of my shirt. He fists it to take it off.

Zoe's voice stops us cold.

"Mommy!" Zoe cries. We both turn our faces to her. It's a good thing the lights are out in the living room, with only the light from the kitchen breaking the darkness.

"Yes baby?" I say as I hurriedly leave Harry's lap to go to her. Harry stays by the couch as he grabs a throw pillow to cover his bulge.

"What are you doing to Daddy?" Zoe innocently asks, which earned a loud chuckle from her Dad.

"Oh nothing," I play it cool. "We were just playing." Harry covers his mouth to stifle a laugh.

"But it's sleeping time!" Zoe groans.

"That's right! So why are you here?" I say as I pick her up to bring her back to bed.

"I want water and you and Daddy were not in bed." Zoe says as she yawns and rests her head on my shoulders.

"Daddy will bring water for you, love" Harry pipes in as he goes to the Kitchen.

I lay Zoe on the bed and hug her back to sleep. She is asleep again as Harry enters the room with a glass of water.

"We're not done yet, love." Harry naughtily whispers to me as he spoons with me in the bed. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him. I take comfort at how for the first time after such a long time, Harry is now there beside me. That despite all the shitty things we have been through, I still choose to be with him. Love does make you crazy, I guess. Because the heart wants what it wants. There really is no logic to it.

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A/N

Ok. So forgive me. I don't know how to write steamy scenes properly 🙈

I don't know but I might delete this! 😂