More Than This

All the Whys

Update!!! ❤️

Just a few chapters more 😊 and this will end. Bittersweet! 😭😭😭

Thanks for reading this far. Y'all just make me happy with all your reads, votes and comments 🚀 TYSFM!!! ❤️

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Someone is at the door.
"Uhm, Excuse me," the uniformed person with the tackle box says, interrupting our drama. "Are you Alexandra Jane Collins?" She asks.

I nod, wiping my tears.

"I'm Hazel from the lab. We just need to extract blood from you," she says.

I wince at the thought. Harry sits on the chair by my side. He takes my hand, and kisses the back of it. "Don't worry, I'll just be here," he assures me.

The lab person proceeds to extract blood from me, two vials worth. She labels these and then takes out a pen and a notebook. She side eyes Harry who is looking away because the needles seems to scare him more than me. I'm pretty sure she recognizes him, that suppressed smile says it all.

Just then, the nurse from earlier comes in, too. "Ms. Collins, we'll be performing a series of tests. May we know when did you last have your period?" She then goes to ask.

"Uhm, what?" I chuckle.

"It's a standard question. The doctor is asking for procedures that might affect uhm, it, if ever," she says as a matter of fact.

Harry and I look at each other as if on cue and we both let out a soft laugh. The nurse side eyes him. She and the one from the lab looks at each other.

"I, uhm, have irregular periods." I say. "I don't even know when my last was." I cover my face with my hands, laughing at the embarassment of talking about my period in front of Harry.

"Miss, I assume that, uhm, your companion here is related to you?"  The nurse asks. Her smile hides an intriguing tone.

"Yes, we're related." Harry flashes his charming smile. The nurse cheeks flush. Hazel from the lab exits the room but I see her softly poke the nurse before she leaves. These two must know who he is.

"Ok," she says looking a bit thrown off by Harry's presence. Who would not be anyway. "May I ask if you are positive for sexual contact in the past months?"  Long pause. "Uhm we need to know so we can just test your blood instead." She smiles, cheeks flushed.

"Yes," I say covering mouth and noddng my head. I look at Harry, stifling his laughter.

The nurse writes some notes and then thanks us and excuses herself.

"I thought she'd like to know more about your sexual activity, too," Harry says laughing.

"Psssh. I haven't had any for quite sometime now. Practically non-existent!" I chuckle.

"We can fix that, you know," Harry teases as he eases himself and takes half of the hospital bed. He is laughing though, but he holds my hand in one and hugs me with his other. "I miss this," he sighs.

I sigh deeply. Looking at the ceiling, asking the universe why do we have to be so close now and yet be far away later.

Harry hums Chasing Cars and sings the chorus softly, while he holds me tighter.

"So, do you sing like this to all your exes? I chuckle.

"Only to those whom I really love," he quips.

"Harry?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why are you making this hard for me? For us?" I say in all seriousness.

"Why are we even exes?" Harry asks.

"We have too many whys!" I chuckle.

"Alex, you are the quiet in my chaos." Says Harry, the poetic one. "Our moments together transport me to a different place and time, where I'm just Harry. Without the screaming fans and flashing lights." He sighs. "While I'm scared at risking everything that makes me now, I'm also scared of losing you, the one who makes me feel me, as me." He says.

"Harry," I say. "I uh.."

"Baby, I'm sorry that I was such a coward." He interrupts me. He then gets up from the bed and sits facing me. "I had hesitations, mostly for selfish purposes, really. But also because I don't want you to be exposed to my world, the messy side of it where you will be dragged and treated like an object," he looks at me intently. "Fame just ruins everything." He pauses and looks away.

That's the thing with fame. It distorts perspective and ruins what's actually good. And that's the thing about Harry, he is undoubtedly famous. But also that's the thing about love, it just happens. You don't get to choose whom you love, and you don't have concrete answers to all the whys.