11. Fitting

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Magdalene

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Magdalene

"Wow, wow, wow," Lysa is trying her most soft voice. "Don't take it out on the dress, Magdalene."

We're at the dress fitting and I am fisting the delicate fabric so much, it is almost torn. Which would be a great way to have an excuse to leave the wedding right about now. Two days. Two days after that "I am done" speech from Runner and I am still brewing in an explosive mixture of anger and disappointment.

"What is going on?" Ava asks as she walks around looking perfect in her black, tulle dress. "And make it brief and comprehensible. I left Bjorn to feed Ariadne but I can't be sure he won't give her beer instead with all that "my girl is going to be a badass biker" parenting skills. Are you sure about this, Lysa? Marrying a Rider?"

"Ava, Magdalene problems."

"I know. Sorry. Magda, talk!"

I shake my head and look at myself in the mirror. Weddings. I've done that shit once, not again thank you. Jack went for the whole Vegas extravaganza with our wedding. Big dress, fancy flowers, hotel reception for his esteemed clients and associates. I was his trophy wife and he wanted to flaunt me around. He was my means for revenge and I wanted this to be over with. Lysa's wedding has me re-evaluating all my life's choices. And so far, I haven't done one goddamn thing right.

"You don't like the dress?" Lysa asks.

I glance at the mirror once more. The dress is perfect as promised. Each is different but all black. Ava is wearing a long one, with a halter neck and open back, Iris got the mini dress with the sweetheart neckline. And I am wearing a black cocktail dress with a flared skirt and a lace V-neck bodice. I look good. I know I do. So what?

"The dress is perfect," I muster a difficult smile.

"OK, it's not the dress," Ava puts her hands on her waist. "It's got to be Runner then."

I thought that I could be cool. Two days ago, he shooed me away and kept eating his motherfucking eggs as if nothing had happened. Nothing. Not me practically throwing myself at him. I have decided to pretend that nothing happened too and go on with my life, meaning going through this wedding and then hit the road. But it doesn't seem to work.

I am staying with Lysa at the semi-ready home they got with Vik and Vik is back in the clubhouse to keep the mystery and romance of the wedding or some shit. Which means that either Vik is back home and between his fiancé's legs or Lysa is back at the clubhouse aaaall the time. I am happy for her but I can't stand those two lovebirds.

As for me, I haven't seen Runner for two days but I can't stop thinking about him. I simply can't get him out of my mind. I replay all the moments we have shared from the time he used to come to me and just stay in the same room with me till when he brought a lock of hair to his lips. That's my problem and I can lie all I want. Am I one of those girls that get more attached when they are ignored?

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