99 skinny (rewritten) // adopted by 5sos

thirty two // 112.4 lbs

***

D A I S Y

TRIGGER WARNING !! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !! mentions: eating disorders, suicide and self harm !!

"M-My eating habits?" I stammered.

"Yes," Dr. Williams' eyes moved back and fourth as he skimmed through his papers. "We've discovered that you passed out from low nutrients, and Mr. Irwin informed us that you had complained about feeling dizzy lately? Is that right?"

"I..." I was unsure of what to say, the hammering in my heart and my unsteady breathing making me feel like I'd pass out again at any second. "I mean, I've felt a little lightheaded lately..."

"Mhm. I know talking to a stranger is uncomfortable, so why don't you fill this out instead," he handed me a few pages of paper stapled together and a pencil. "Please answer every question as truthfully as possible. I'll be back in about five minutes, okay?"

I nodded, watching as he stood and adjusted his coat before exiting the room, lightly shutting the door behind him. Setting the paper down on the little table in front of me, I skimmed over the first question, my stomach dropping.

There was no way I could lie about these questions, since it was obvious the doctors knew.

#1: Do you worry about your weight? If, so how often? (check one):

most of the time
often
not so often
rarely

I checked off 'often', even though in reality I thought about it all the time.

#2: Have you gone on diets to lose weight?:

yes
no

#3: If you checked 'yes' on #2, have you gone for long periods without eating (fasting), thrown up after eating (purging), or used laxatives?:

yes
no

The feeling of guilt settled into my stomach as I checked of 'yes' for both.

#10: Self harm is purposely hurting yourself, by cutting, burning, etc. to distract from emotional pain. There's a wide variety of reasons why people self harm. Have you purposely harmed yourself?:

yes
no

#11: have you ever experienced suicidal thoughts?:

yes
no

#12: if yes, how often?:

most of the time
often
not so often
rarely

I didn't notice I had started crying until I reached the last question and realized my paper was damp. Hurriedly flipping back to the front page, I began to erase my answers, but was interrupted when the doctor walked back in.

"All done?" he chirped.

Glancing down at the questions I had failed to change, I gulped, before giving him a weak nod. Doctor Williams took the packet from me, patting my shoulder before telling me he would be back again.