twenty three // 117.4 lbs

7.3K 280 145

117.4 lbs = 53.7 kg

***

"Hey."

"Hi..." I shyly spoke, breathless just from walking up Max's driveway.

I was both struggling to breathe from nerves and for some reason I felt extremely lightheaded today. In the back of my head I was telling myself it was because I hadn't eaten a full meal in two days, but I pushed the thought away for now.

We waved goodbye to Ashton who was in the car after dropping me off, before going into his house. When Max turned to close the front door, I felt myself stumble, quickly grabbing onto the little table sitting beside the door. Quickly steadying myself and letting go of the table, I flashed Max a small smile as he turned back around to face me.

"What would you want to do?" he asked. "I was thinking we could hangout here for a little then maybe go out somewhere?"

"Whatever you w-want to do," I struggled to just hold myself up and prayed we'd just go and sit somewhere.

I followed Max into the living room, relieved when he made a move to sit down. Sitting down next to him, I awkwardly bit my lip, unsure of what to do.

"Are you hungry? Would you want to go out to eat?"

"I ate before I came over," I lied. "B-But if you're hungry we can go somewhere."

"No I'm okay," Max thought for a moment. "I want ice cream though. You in?"

***

One hand held my ice cream, the other emptily dangling beside Max's hand. I took tiny licks, now feeling bad that Max bought ice cream for me and I didn't even plan on finishing it.

Do you want Max to see how fat you really are? Don't finish it, the little voice in my head reminded me over and over. I could barely focus on staying calm, the urge to cry strong.

The silence between us wasn't awkward though, which I was thankful for. It was more of a comfortable silence, the sound of birds chirping and children playing back in the main area of the park filling in the gaps. The hot California sun beamed down on us, warming up my cold body and melting our ice cream cones.

"Hey, um," Max quietly began, suddenly stopping. I stopped as well, looking up at him as I waited for him to continue.

Time seemed to freeze as we stood there, staring deep into each other's eyes. Max slowly reached forward, taking my hand into his. His touch gave me butterflies, goosebumps forming on my skin as he seemed to grow closer to me. I was thankful we were the only ones on the trail, since the idea of people seeing us so close made me anxious.

In the back of my head I couldn't help but to worry about paparazzi, and found myself glancing around us to make sure we were truly alone.

At this point our lips were nearly touching, our noses just brushing. I seemed to hesitate for a moment, but Max stopped my second thoughts immediately, pressing his lips into mine. I melted into his touch, electricity running all throughout my body as we kissed.

My whole body was on fire; whether it was from the long black jeans I was wearing under the hot sun or because of Max. I was unsure.

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