Hurt By You [Completed]

Chapter Twenty Six

Numbness.

That is what I felt for the last month.

Yes, it has been a month since I left Jordan when she told me to leave. It has been a month since I last left my apartment. It has been a month since I last felt any kind of emotion. Except for this numbness inside of my body, it took over like a damn disease and it had made me physically and emotionally sick to where I couldn't eat or sleep, or think. My mind has been a constant blur and it was slowly eating me alive.

Of course, that whole month I have been doing nothing but thinking of Jordan. She was there in the back of my mind. She stayed there during the day, and kept me awake at night. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her screaming face and it tore me apart to where I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

My apartment was the only place I felt safe and somewhat happy. But it was also the place where I felt the most scared and nothing but numbness as I stared at these four walls in my bedroom. Nothing but plastered on wallpaper and shitty designs covering four walls of isolation.

The only time I left my apartment was a few days after everything that happened. I went back to Jordan's, clearly not in my head at the time, and was going to try to talk to her. I thought that maybe since I gave her a few days to cool down that we could talk and it would all be fine.

But when I pulled up in her driveway that day, I saw Casey walking out of the house holding Kaylee's hand. When I got out and asked what was going on, Casey told me that she was taking Kaylee home with her for a few days so that Jordan could be alone. I thought it was a little crazy, but I do remember her telling me that it has happened before, so I didn't think nothing else of it.

Kaylee gave me a hug and told me she loved me. It broke my heart, but I told her the same as I was holding the tears from falling from my eyes. I grew to love Kaylee like my own, but I may never get to actually be around her anymore.

When I asked Casey what Jordan was doing, she said that Jordan was sitting in her room doing nothing. She said that when she tried to talk to her, all she did was stare at the wall while sitting on the floor next to her bed. She said she didn't want to talk to Jordan because she knew that it wasn't the best thing to do, so she left. I asked her if it was a smart idea to leave her alone, but Casey told me that Jordan was a big girl and that she would be fine.

I told Casey that I was sorry for everything and she told me that it wasn't my fault. But, I didn't believe her. It's always my fault when it comes to Jordan and her emotions. Everyone else may think it's not, even Jordan, but I'm not blind and I'm not stupid. I know when I screw shit up, and I may have screwed this up to no return.

"She needs time." She said.

I didn't believe her. "I don't want anymore time away from her. I want to show her that I care and love her to no end."

When Casey sighed, I knew it was over. "Just leave her alone for a while, ok?"

"How long?"

She shrugs. "A few weeks. Give her a few weeks."

"And if that doesn't work?"

She stares at me for the longest time and I knew what was about to come. "Then it's over, Alexis. I'm sorry, but if Jordan can't come back in a few weeks then there's really nothing else for you to do and I'm sorry." She hugs me and I hug her back while holding back my tears. "Take care." She says as she's pulling away.

After that day, I knew it was the end. I could feel it in my heart, and even though my mind wasn't fully aware of it yet, my heart already knew. It hurt. Hell yeah, it hurt. It hurt so much that I was driving myself completely crazy with everything. I had voices inside of my head and they never were there before.