Clace one-shots

The Dreams I Caught {6}

JACE

I felt week. It wasn't just the physical pain that was weighing me down, but the emotional pain that came with it. My vision of the outside was black. Clary had fallen asleep.

I laid awake inside of her, replaying every poisonous word that was said to me. "You are weak. You are a disgrace. You are an embarrassment to our kind. You will never be the best. You will always fail. You are ruled by emotion. You will never be worthy. Every person you come in contact with will feel the pain you bring."

"He's right. I am weak. I am not worthy enough to live. This is what I deserve." I thought to myself. It was true. I deserved to suffer. I deserved to be trapped in this world. Wherever I was. I deserved to feel the pain I brought to others.

Without warning I felt myself start to spin. Winds raced around me. I felt like I was in the middle of a hurricane, but not the eye. The spinning motion was making me nauseous, so I was relieved when my feet became grounded once more.

"Jace Wayland." I heard a woman's voice say. I opened my eyes and was met face to face with a girl who looked like she was in her twenties. She had golden brown hair that reached just passed her shoulders. Her warm smile seemed to be the only thing that lit up the room. The room.

I looked around wondering what happened. It was Clary's room still, but I was no longer inside of her and looking through her eyes. I was no longer feeling her pain. The only pain I felt was from my past.

"I'm Rose." The strange girl said. I turned my head to face her once more. "What do you want? How did you get me out?" I asked her. She gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I am a part of you. And Alec." She replied. My eyes widened at Alec's name. "What does Alec have to do with any of this?" I asked her.

"I am a part of you both Jace. I come from your bond. Every emotion you have ever felt, I know it. I am the unspoken message you have with him. Raziel created us when he created the parabatai rune." She said to me.

"How did you get me out?" I asked her. I was still on guard.

"Your bond with Alec is strong. He's worried about you. The emotions go deeper than normal parabatais." She paused and put her hand on my arm. "Alec helped you get out of that state without knowing it. He gave you the strength to let go of your ties with Clary in this world." She explained. "He was always stubborn." I said to her.

"I dont deserve to leave." I thought to myself. "Yes you do Jace." Rose said to me.

"How did you-" I began to ask, but she cut me off. "I know everything you think. I am a part of you, remember?" She said with a smile.

"I don't deserve to go back. I am weak. Valentine was always right." She sighed at my words.

"I can make you come back... and neither can Alec. You have to make the decision for yourself." She explained to me.

I watched her turn and walk away to the door. Before she went through though, she turned back to me. "You don't deserve this Jace. But I must warn you. If you continue in this world for much longer you will return back to Clary and Alec will not be able to bring you out again. You'll be trapped here forever." She said. Then she disappeared.

"Its what I deserve." I thought to myself again. "What I deserve."