Pain doesn't just show up in our lives for no reason. It's just a sign that something in our lives needs to change.
Date: 10 May 2021
Place: China.
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Jennie's pov
"Ge ge, do I follow you back home now?"
I asked when I look at Fan Fan ge packing my things into a bag that he brings with him, "Hmm." He nodded, "Why am I following you back home?" He stands up after he's done packing my things that I put under my bed and caress my hair with a warm smile on his face, "Jennie, I'm adopting you. Do you know what adoption means?" He asked me and I nodded.
I was only 9 years old back then when I nodded my head.
I know it means you are going to live in a new family with new people. I had seen some of my friends left with someone whom they don't know. Miss Chew says they will be their new daddy and mommy.
But I know Fan Fan ge since I'm here. I had called him ge ge for more than a year and he's adopting me. What should I call him now then? I can still call ge ge?
"But my friends call those auntie and uncle daddy and mommy," I muttered when he carries me up in his arms after shoving the bag over his shoulder, "And I call you ge ge?" He looks at me for awhile, "Is up to you for what you want to call me. I'm not making you choose now." I only furrowed my brows.
I didn't know what that means. I only realize it when I had grown up.
Being an orphan;
It was the last thing I had expected that I would become.
I used to have a small and harmony family when mommy is still around.
But things change; it changed when mommy start coughing every day.
Soon, she coughed out blood when I talk to her. She coughed out blood when she was trying to tug me to bed and I would cry when I saw that.
I was scared; I know mommy is sick and she end up in the hospital at the end.
Daddy would always bring me to the hospital to visit her. And I remember that I can't stop crying because mommy can never talk to me anymore with a tube plucked on her throat.
I know daddy had tried his best to take care of me; I know he missed mommy too when she's no longer with us.
Things get worse when I still cry like usual and daddy get angry one day. He shouted at me when I couldn't stop crying and say I want mommy. He yelled at me; saying that mommy is dead. Mommy can no longer be here.
I remember that he says I look a lot like mommy.
And he says he hate looking at me now.
He locked me up in the house when he went out. I cry; I was only 6 years old.
I'm hungry; but I can't cook my own food. I cried every day when I'm alone at home. I shouted; I screamed until my neighbour heard me and came over to our house, asking me where is my daddy and why am I crying.
I said I don't know. I said I'm hungry and they give me food.
Sometimes daddy didn't come back home. I thought he would. But he didn't.
And when he did, he came back with a strong stink smell on him.
I was screaming when he got mad upon seeing me crying again and splashed me hot water.
