If it doesn't matter, get rid of it.
Date: 26 January 2019
Place: China.
[Listen to time boils the rain by Kris Wu Yi Fan that I had put up there while reading this chapter. Swipe yo! And this is the last chapter before epilogue!]
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Kris's pov
"Fan ge, please! Stop being like this!"
I feel Xiao Bai pulling my blanket but I only pulled it back closer to myself, "Ge! Get up!"
He groaned at me but I never reply anything. I don't reply.
"GE! JIE NEVER WANT YOU TO BE LIKE THIS AFTER SAVING YOU OKAY?! CAN YOU JUST GET UP NOW?! HOW LONG DO YOU STILL WANT TO HIDE IN THE HOUSE?!"
I closed my eyes as I buried my face on the pillow.
I don't like anyone mentioning her now; I don't like.
"Gosh, she really gives me a mission impossible to look after you! Ge, please! Don't make this hard for me!" He pulled me for one last time through the blanket but I just grabbed the edge of my bed and refused to move.
I don't care anymore okay? I don't care anymore.
If is my choice to die on my bed like this, just let me die.
I even prefer to have someone kill me now so it would be a lot easier and faster.
Less pain; less suffer.
"FAN GE, REALLY! YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS! HUI XIN JIE DOESN'T SAVE YOU JUST TO MAKE YOU A USELESS HUMAN NOW!!" He screamed at me in annoyed and I just stared at my blanket in the dark blankly.
They came every day, I know they did.
They came every day to check on me; to see if I kill myself or not after Hui Xin is dead.
I hope I have the courage to do so but I don't. I honestly don't.
Not when my house is full of her trace; I saw her handwriting on the sticky note that was on the fridge when I try to get water.
I saw her Teddy bear that was on my sofa. She brought it over here after she start staying with me.
Whenever I see Lola, she even remind me of how they both slept together sometimes on my bed when I came home late.
Her drawing; I found out that she drew us on a small white blank card and she actually put it in my wallet after she's dead. I just found it not long ago.
The last picture we took; I finally realize why she asked to take a picture that day and gave me all of it. Not taking any of it with her. Why we are using a lomo camera instead of a phone.
She even gives me back her ring didn't she?
God, she really planned well to leave me, not knowing how suffer I can be without her.
Not knowing that she had become part of me, part of my life that I'm not able to remove anymore.
She was everywhere when I tried my best to live without her for this one year.
I don't work like an idol anymore. I decided not to.
Because when I go for a photoshoot, I remember that one time when we had our first photoshoot together.
Because when I went for a variety show, I remember how she is being tricky, annoyed, and happy when we went to those shows together.
I don't even accept a movie filming now; I would remember her teaching me how to fight for my last action movie.
