It's been 2 months since I was dignosed with PSTD, I have been doing only studio work lately. It's so hard and depressing to keep lying to everyone and saying that I'm fine, especially to the boys. In these past 2 months I never heard or seen Austin, unless in the tv and social media, but there is not a single day that I don't think about him. I have been taking the pills that Anne gave me, to be honest, I feel the same or even worse. I'm constantly feeling sick because of them, it didn't made me stop shaking, it did helped me falling asleep but I always got woke in the midle of the night, scared, because of my nightmares, so I basically continue not being able to sleep. I can't focus because I'm always nervous and agitated or numb. I was feeling pretty bad before I found that I have PTSD but now I feel a lot worse, I prefer to be in pain but try to do things on my own instead of don't have the motivation to do anything and started feeling paranoid, but I have do take these damn pills...I need them.
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Almost two weeks ago I got an email from Simon. It was an email with all the informations about Syco Summer Party, a party that Simon throws every year, it would be in July 12 in London and I was invited, because Syco it's my record label. I had just finished the email when I got a call, Edwin.
«Hey (Y/N)» - he said excited
«Hey Eggwin!» - I replied excited too, I can't be sad when I'm talking with these guys.
«Did you got Simon's email as well? About the party...» - he asked.
«Yes, I did, I had just read it when you called!» - I told him.
«So, you're coming?» - he asked curious and I could hear the hope in is voice, they are trying to make me visit them for a while now.
«I don't think so Ed...» - I confessed and he asked why - «I'm feeling really tired, I'm not exactly in the mood for a party right now...» - please let it go, don't ask anything... (I thought to myself)
«Oh come on... You're a workaholic just like Brandon!» - he said annoyed and I laughed a bit.
«Maybe I am...» - I joked - «I'll think about it ok, but I probably won't be there, just don't get mad at me okay?»
«I won't, we just would like to see you there...I have to go now, duty calls. Bye (Y/N)!» - he told me
«Ok, bye Edwin!» - I smiled on the phone.
A few days later Simon sent another email to confirm who was going and I told him I would not be there, just a few hours later I got another email.
«Is there a chance that you will change your mind? It would be good for you to have at least a day off. Beside that... Katrina is busy with a perform in that day and I would like to have one of my "new arrivals" at the party, the media are expecting you to come anyway...»
Katrina won't be there? Wow... She's probably pissed. For a few days I thought about the email. The fact that Simon wants Katrina and I there but she's busy. Maybe it would be good to go, Katrina is trying to replace me and at some things she already did. Maybe if I go to the party, I will show the fans and media that I'm still in the game. I looked at the mirror and thought if I could hide my problems for one night... I guess I can try. But you know what they say, go big or go home. I sent an email to Simon to let him now I was going to the party but asking him to don't say anything to anyone. I'm better start making some calls...
«Hi Dante, it's (Y/N)...»
«Oh mia bella! (My beauty), to what do I have the pleasure of this call?» - he asked with his italian accent.
«So... I have a party in two weeks and I need your help...» - I was starting to say.
«Don't say anything else! I have the perfect outfit, it's brand new and no one saw it yet... you will be stunning! Where do I meet you?» - he asked excited.
YOU ARE READING
Dancing In the Dark - an Austin Porter fanfic
Fanfiction(I MADE THE COVER, HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT) This is a fanfic about when you became a Beanz and got "in love" with Austin, then that crush start to became more serious when you and Austin met each other, but it's really possible to have a relationship...
