It's been 5 days since the boys left, I haven't left my house much in these 5 days, it's been basically sleep, eat and listen music. Simon gave me a week to recover from my little "accident" wich means I should get back to work tomorrow. I got up in the morning and decided I should get some fresh air, it's been a while since I don't dance for fun, lately i've been dancing just at the rehearsals so I dressed some leggings, a top and a sweatshirt and my favourite sneakers, Tony had left a note in the fridge saying he had gone to the gym, I grabbed an apple and left the house, I drove to the dance studio where I do my dance rehearsals. Since I signed my contract with Simon I have like a free pass to use that studio.
"Good morning (Y/N)! Is there a rehearsal scheduled, I don't have nothing here..." - Samantha, the girl in the reception said confused.
"Good mornight Sam, no, today I'm just feeling like dancing a little bit." - I explained smiling.
"Oh okay, well, studio 3 is available, you can go there." - She informed - "Hope you're feeling better by the way..." - she smiled
"I am... and thanks!" - I smiled going to the studio. I left my things in the corner except my phone. I did a little warm up and then chose the song Ain't Nobody Taking My Baby by Russ, then Wild Thoughts, I let go and felt the music. I danced for an hour and it felt so good, I really missed dancing on my own, without any worries or pressure. Suddently Bad Blood by NAO started playing because it was on my playlist, I froze for a moment and remembered the last events, especially the one when I was under water and started remember every memory I had of Austin, then I remebered the conversation we had in the day he left. How could he kissed Katrina and sleep with her thinking it was me all the time? That's ridiculous, it doesn't make sense! Why haven't I received any of his texts or calls? Did he really texted or call? Nothing of this makes sense! I opened my eyes and looked throught in the window, it was raining,I saw the rain running down the window and tried to imagine it washing my pain, stupid idea, that doesn't work like that. I fell on my knees, I have to get over him... for the sake of everyone. Suddently I realized, I could send a message trought lyrics as well. I got up and went to my bag and I took a notebook. I always carry one with me because I like to write too. I sat on the corner of the room next to the window and started writting.
«I tried hard to make you want me
But we're not supposed to be
And the truth will always haunt me
Even though it set me free
And my tears fall like the ocean
As they floated in the breeze
They were falling in slow motion
And they brought me to my knees »
We are not supposed to be together despite I want us to be, and I can't tell you the truth and it seems like the truth is hunting me, but she actually set me free because it made you left and I needed that so that I can move on. In this past 6 months my tears have been falling slowly and it came to a point that they brought me to my knees, because I feel like I can't take this anymore. (I thought while writting.)
«You're holding me
Toying with me all in my brain
Turn off the light
And now all of the maze fills me with doubt
And I'm shouting your name out loud
Why do you wanna put me through the pain?
I get the feeling I'll never escape
I can't hide away from the shame of you »
Every time you got closer you mess with my mind, that fills me with doubths because I want to forget you but you make me feel like there is still hope for us. I notice myself thinking about you in the most random moments and shouting you name out loud when I feel like I need you the most. Why do you do this to me, why can't I escape from you... why do you put me throught this pain? (I continued writing while confessing my thoughts out loud, alone in that room.)
«Tears on the ground, tears on my pillow
You won't bring me down
And I'll get over you
These tears will get me through
And I'll get over you
I'll get over you »
YOU ARE READING
Dancing In the Dark - an Austin Porter fanfic
Fanfiction(I MADE THE COVER, HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT) This is a fanfic about when you became a Beanz and got "in love" with Austin, then that crush start to became more serious when you and Austin met each other, but it's really possible to have a relationship...
