Ruin and Revival

Chapter 24: Monster

COLE

Sweat rolls generously down my face as I lug my war equipment across the trenches, our troops hidden a couple feet down. I feel out of place, a bee thrown into a crowd of fire ants, inexperienced in battle.

    "You doin alright, mate?" A man asks beside me. He seems to be in his late twenties, a cheerful grin lighting up his friendly face.

    "Hehe, better than ever..." Why did I even agree to this? Butterflies twirled around in my stomach and I feel like throwing up my breakfast of porridge and nuts.

"Relax a little, kid. It ain't so bad as long as you don't get none of them water forces. Those are the dangerous ones and you'll be lucky to come out alive. But that's pretty darn rare so you should be fine. A young man like you ain't got nuttin' to worry about," Right, that's supposed to make me feel better. Water forces, huh...

I ease into my position in the sandy trenches, squished between terrible-at-comforting-people dude and a mean looking woman. We're in the back, giving me a good view of the battle field. We each carry an assault rifle, ammunition, grenades, and an oxygen mask. I see figures in the distance, the heat of the air causing them to shimmer like mirages.

I ready my rifle, not shooting yet for the strange warriors haven't reached us. They wear no armor, only a pair of turquoise metal gloves. A meager group of twenty approaches the hundred of us half hidden in the ground, only our helmets jutting out.

"Take aim," My earpiece buzzes in command, "Fire!". I jerk backwards, slightly shocked by the power of my rifle.

That's when I see the impossible. 

A wall of churning water stops our bullets in mid air, as if nothing had happened. The battlefield is quiet, most of us in horror. I blink my eyes a couple of times, just to make sure I am not dreaming. I see an impossibly flat disk of water rushing toward us as I am glued in place, too terror-stricken to move. Then, the unspeakable happens. Faster than I can blink, everyone's heads in the front trenches come clean off. One man's face is still in mid scream as it rolls away. The woman next to me shrieks.

"Boy, you have gotta get out of here, before we all die," The man's frightened eyes meet mine, a reflection of my own. Chaos unleashes.

I fire my rifle a couple of times, covering for everyone as they retreat behind me, but it is no use. Body parts and blood are flying everywhere. I vomit on the ground beside me, the putrid smell filling my nostrils. I do my best to keep a calm mind. Just focus on getting out of here. I jump out of the trench, heart thumping out of chest, adrenaline the only thing charging me forward.

"We're done. The tanks are leaving us. They are leaving us to die," The man drops to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably. They know it's a battle they can't win so they flee. I am too petrified with fear to be angry.

"I never got married, never got to see the ocean, never got to try a mango," He wails, all sanity gone when faced with the claws of death.  Panic fills me for the second time today and this time, I don't even try to control it. What do I do, what do I do!  I can't die here. I have to see Arika one last time. I harden myself, willing myself to live. I am strong, stronger than everyone here.

"Come on, we can still get out of here. Let's live to fight another day," I say with fake determination, trying to encourage myself as much as the blabbering soldier. I grab the man's arm and drag him as he continues his chattering.

"This is all their fault! I should've never went to that fuc-" He stops abrutply. And I see him peel apart. Literally, sliced clean in half, his organs plopping out as blood oozes out of him. I gag, bile rising again. A paper thin line comes surging towards me.

I feel it coming towards me more than seeing it, and a calm goes over my mind. I sidestep flawlessly, the water's deadly momentum zooming past me harmlessly, before charging. The man lifts his gloves in a defensive move but the astonished look on his face is all I need to know I have won this fight. I take advantage of that lapse in concentration, kicking his groin before using the butt of my rifle toknock him unconscious, hours of training with Kamilia finally paying off. Tentatively, I pick up those accursed turquoise gloves and slide them onto my grimy, blood stained hands. What am I doing? 

Pure, undiluted power courses through me, unlike anything I have ever experienced. I shudder at the overwhelming sensation. Why am I doing this? Somehow, as if someone is controlling me, I lift my arms.

And all around me, the blood of soldiers, the vomit, the piss, water, suspends in the air. This isn't who I am. I am just a highschool kid, caught up in the unnecessary drama of the world. So how did I end up here?  Then, with one wave of my hand, I have ended them.

    Everyone.

Alarm fills me as I just realize what I had just done, fearing what I had just become.

I hear thuds of heads all around me. My hands tremble uncontrollably, as I drop to my knees. A pretty woman's head crashes onto my boots, her face tranquil, her eyes glassy. My eyes widen, jumping back. I sink to my knees. I go numb, my mind and body shutting down, as if in denial. I gaze at the utter destruction around me. Who did this?

What a terrible person.

I gaze down at my bloody hands and the guts splattered around me. I swallow my bile as it stings my throat, forcing it down. No, NO! 

What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?!   My hands are ripping at my hair and I feel my sanity hanging on a thin, thin thread. I don't feel like myself, as if I am floating away from my body. I watch Cole rip at his hair, eyes wild and inhuman. Who am I? I know the answer. I had known the answer the day I had killed that man.

I am a monster, a murderer of dozens now. I take the gloves off my hand, so much revulsion for myself and the carnage around me, the carnage I had created!

I don't deserve to live after this. I reach for my rifle.

And I laugh. And laugh and laugh until I am sobbing, hysteria now clouding my mind. I put the rifle in my mouth, my finger on the trigger. I deserve this. I am just a monster in hiding. The world does not need more monsters like me. Perhaps that's why Arika never loved me. She saw me as who I really am. I smile. I hear faint footsteps behind me. I see the Grim Reaper has already found me. I almost sag in relief.

"You are not a monster," Kamila is looking at me with those green eyes, reading my mind. She takes the rifle out of my mouth and chucks it across the corpse-filled scene. She embraces me tightly, her lavender scent comforting me.

"You are not a monster. You are a hero, my hero," Tears are streaming down my face. And I cry into her shoulder, a boy who has lost his identity, his soul on this bloody battlefield.