Do You Still Love Me

Emergency Room

"I see," Jean nodded, "do you know why he doesn't like them?" He asked hoping that Levi might know what he was feeling.

"I don't know his exact reasoning, but I'm sure it could have something to do with him losing his friends and family on more than one occasion," Eren said but the last part more came out as a mumble possibly from the guilt of almost being added to the list of people lost.

"Yeah, that would do it," Jean whispered.

Levi waited at the door for Jean and Eren to catch up. Jean seemed to be dragging his feet and Eren was keeping at his pace.

"Took you both long enough," Levi said he still seemed to be pouting from Eren yelling at him earlier. Then again it could have just been that he didn't want to be here.

They walked in and made their way to the counter to fill out some paperwork and explain their conditions. After showing their hands and explaining how they were feeling and what their pain level was they found themselves in the waiting area. They knew the wait would be long but lucky for them they didn't look too busy today.

Sitting in the waiting room Jean couldn't help but be anxious. He was fidgeting in his seat and his leg was shaking so much Eren swore the whole floor was shaking.

Levi looked up at Eren and gave him a look. Eren nodded and stood up. " I'm going to hit the restroom," he said before walking away so that Levi could talk to Jean.

Levi scooted over a seat so that he was next to Jean. "Hey, what's wrong?" Levi asked putting his good hand on Jean's knee to stop his leg from shaking.

"I don't like hospitals," Jean mumbled out.

"Bullshit," Levi said with a sigh, "you're coming apart at the seams, there's another reason, there's always another reason," Levi said looking Jean in his eyes to try and read what he was thinking.

Jean just nodded.

"It's getting to you too, huh," Levi finally asked.

Jean looked at him and didn't know what to say. He decided it was time to just say it. "I can't stop seeing him in that damn bed," Jean whispered his gaze hit the floor and his voice shook.

"It gets easier, but it takes time," Levi said he had already known what was getting to him because it was getting to him too.

"It's been four years, how much time does it need?" Jean asked almost desperately.

"There's no clear cut timeline," Levi sighed. "But it gets a hell of a lot easier when you accept that it happened and realize that Eren is still here. We didn't lose him."

"But we could have, and there wouldn't have been a damn thing we could do about it," Jean said putting his head in his hands. "What if something like that were to happen to Marco? What if he wasn't so lucky?" Jean whispered with a shaky voice. It was obvious that he had started tearing up, though he was fighting it. He was shaking even worse now.

"Listen, Jean, Marco is fine, and Eren is fine," Levi assured him. It was easy to tell that this was the real thing bugging him, how helpless he felt during that time how he wished he could do anything to save Eren. He was afraid of anything like that happening again.

"Jean you might not like this, but it needs to be said," Levi said after hesitating for a moment. "That's the way life is, life holds the unknown. We are never guaranteed another day. The best we can always hope for is that we wake up in the morning and make it to the end of the day. There is always going to be that unknown factor to life, but that's what makes it so cherished to spend it with the people you love," Levi said.

Jean nodded he knew what Levi was saying and he knew that he was right. He took a breath and wiped his eyes and sat up. He looked around the room remembering everything that happened in those few days. He took a deep breath closed his eyes and began clearing his mind. He kept thinking to himself, "Eren is okay, Eren is okay," He opened his eyes and looked around the room again... It was just a room. The memories seemed to leave him alone at least for the time being.

"Thank you, Levi," Jean said with a little smile as he watched Eren come back from the bathroom.

"Anytime," Levi said.

"Everything alright?" Eren asked.

Levi scooted back over and nodded, "We're good right, Jean?"

"Yeah, we're good," Jean said giving Eren a smile and a nod.

Levi took a breath and watched as Eren sat back down. He hadn't completely gotten over his baggage from not only the first trip to the hospital but the second one as well. Almost losing Eren not once but twice as he sat by helplessly had taken its toll on his mind.