Catch me I'm fallin' for you... [MingKit Story - COMPLETED]

Wishful Thinking

(Ming)

"You're one of my friends just like Yo and everyone else."

These words keeps on playing on and on like a torn out cd player. I keep on walking and walking as far as I can away from the College of Medicine, hoping that somehow it would lessen the pain.

Pain is an understatement, what I'm feeling right now is beyond any words I could think of. All these feelings that I tried to supress is now slapping me real hard right infront of my face.

P'Kit does not feel anything for me, I am just one of his friends.

I should have known that when I told him my feelings and didn't get any reply, I should have stop when I still could, when I could still save myself from this agony, but this stupid version of me is so stubborn I keep on going.

I should have gave up when he told me he's still not ready. But why did I still push myself at him? Why?

You love him..

My inner voice told me. I look up and saw the blue sky shining so brightly and yet I feel so dull and gloomy.

I glance at my watch and realize that I still have two classes to attend later this afternoon but I don't think I could focus- not when my heart is breaking into pieces like a crystal glass.

Is fate cursing me for hurting those girls that I've been with? is this how they felt when I told them I don't have any feelings for them? if this hurts so much then can my heart just stop?

If my friends will see me right now, they would probably laugh at me, the all time casanova is heartbroken and is crying like a little baby

Crying? Am i crying? I ask myself when I felt the cold droplets of tears rolling down my cheeks. I immediately wipe it dry as I tried to breathe and act as if everything is fine..

that's what I'm good at anyway, pretending that everything is fine...

I look at my bandage hand, at a normal day I would probably be wincing because of the pain of my injury but surprisingly I couldn't feel anything. I didn't even realise that I was holding the bottle too tight that I was able to smash it with my hands, that's how jealous I was when I saw Suthee and P'Kit

I was jealous, but I don't have any right to be.

I continued walking until I bump into someone. I look up and saw P'forth looking at me. He probably heard that I skipped class early this morning.

"Sawadee Krap, P" I said as I wai at him. He just nod at me and pulled my injured hand so he can look at it

"How's your hand?" P'forth asks

"Its okay, just a little wound" I replied as I look at anything except him. I don't want him to see my sullen face.

P'Forth let go of my hand and crosses his arms on top of his chest. "But that didn't answer why you skipped class early today. Professor Lo was worried about you." he stated

"Sorry P, I was feeling under the weather. It won't happen again" I replied as fixed my collar

P'forth patted my back and smiled "make sure not to skip class next time. if you can't make it, let me or the other seniors know." He added

I nod my head as a response. I cleared my throat and look at him, "sorry P, but can I skip class again this afternoon?" I asks

"Again? what's wrong?" P'Forth asks while looking at me

I sighed as I avoided his gaze "My hand really hurts, I don't think I can focus." I replied, obviously a vague excuse from what I am feeling right now.

"Mingkwan look at me " P'Forth said while staring at me

I look up to meet his eyes, I knew even if he's not saying anything, he was trying to analyze my behavior.

"I don't think its really your hand that hurts nong, what happened?" he asks his voice is a little softer this time.

Aish P, why do you have to ask me at this time? I don't want to breakdown in here.

I smiled and tried to masks my feelings "what are you talking about P? Its really my hand that hurts, what else could get hurt aside from my wounded hand?" I asks trying to be cheerful

"Stop smiling, its not gonna work for me." P'forth said as he pointed at my chest "This here is hurting, even if you don't say anything." he added

I chuckled as tears started rolling down my cheeks and wipe them off immediately "the heck is this day, why is everything so wrong." I mumbled as I bit my lower lip

P'Forth put his arms around my shoulder as he pats my back "If skipping class this afternoon will make you feel better then go but don't do anything that I will hunt you for." he warned me

"I will just stay at the dorm P, I still have projects to do, maybe I can work on them." I replied

P'Forth nods his head and smile "things will get better Ming, you just have to believe in that" he added before walking away.

I sighed as I entered my room and throw my stuff on the bed, the tears that I am trying to control finally escaped as I sit on the floor

I never cried just because of my feelings. when people ignore me, I just smiled and smiled until the pain is gone, but most of the time it doesn't work

My phone started ringing and saw the person calling me -Mom

"Hello Ma?" I answered as I tried to wipe my tears away

"Mingkwan, where are you?"

"At school, why?"

"Your professor called me early this morning asking if you were sick or something because you skip class, what's wrong with you?"

"ahh. I woke up late."

"Please be more responsible son, you know that your father's reputation is on the line here"

"I understand, sorry ma."

"Don't do something like this again, you know how busy I am, I don't have time for this."

"Yes, I know. sorry."

The call ended as soon as she heard my reply, I chuckled as I held the phone tightly with my free hand

My workaholic parents does not even ask me If I'm okay or not, if I am still alive or breathing, all they cared for is their business and our family name

I throw my phone against the wall as it crashes on the floor. I don't care if I ended up with a broken phone, I could replace that as many as I want, but I can't replace a broken heart- Can I?

Is it really wrong to wish that someone would eventually care for me, the way I do?

A/N: an update! I am sorry for the sudden change of moods for this update~ Sad ming is also breaking my heart but I have to. 🙏