California Dreaming

Chapter Twenty

   “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a visitor,” she admitted, “I’ll come back in a bit.” 

   “No,” I urged, “it’s okay, I should probably let him rest.” I stood up and lent over him, touching my lips to his gently. “I’ll be back tomorrow with Leila and Henry, God knows what they have planned for you,” I giggled happily, and I felt his lips curve beneath mine. 

   “Be safe,” he begged, and I just nodded, slowly, letting my eyes fuller shut for a moment, indulging in the feeling of being this close to him. 

   “I will,” I kissed him again before standing up and walking slowly out of the room,” I love you,” I said honestly, waiting in the doorway as the nurse went over and started to check his vitals. 

   “Love you too, Ji,” he grinned, blowing me a kiss before I forced myself to turn away, leaving the hospital room and starting towards the car park. 

   I found my father’s car, which I had borrowed that morning, driving about before I worked up the courage to finally go to come here. Ever since I had been stabbed, I had developed this feeling towards hospitals, not so much a fear, more of a sickening sensation, in the pits of my stomach, anxiousness, like it was me in that hospital and not whomever I was visiting. 

   I jumped up into the drivers’ seat and plugged the key into the ignition, pulling out of the parking lot and starting back home. I didn’t understand why Harry was how he was, how he had changed from this loving, generous guy, to his total psychopath, in a matter of months. Thinking about him made my skin crawl, and I couldn’t help but check in my rearview mirror, as if I would see him in the car behind mine. 

   Once reaching my home, I parked in the driveway and went inside, finding my dad lying down on the couch, watching reruns of CSI. I dropped my bag down in the hallway and traipsed over to him, collapsing onto the sofa and curling up against him, feeling him wrap his warm, comforting arms around me. 

   “How was he?” He asked. 

   “He was good,” I nodded, “he looked like Gabriel.” 

   “That’s a good thing, right?” He asked uncertainly. 

   “He’s safer in the hospital than when he gets out,” I said anxiously, “at least where he is now, Harry can’t get to him, at least where he is now, no-one can touch him.” 

   “Now come on, Jia,” he reassured me, “you know Gabriel’s a big boy now, he’s not that little kid who used to be afraid of the dark. I bet you it’s killing him right now, being in there, away from you, because being in there, he can’t protect you.” 

   “He should be thinking about himself,” I disagreed, “concentrating on getting better.” 

   “Love is a strange thing, Ji, it’s not always rational.” 

   I started biting at my fingernails again and this time I could feel my dad watching me with disapproval. I had missed being with him, being able to watch TV with him on the sofa. In England he hand’t worked so much, and when things had started to get intense with Harry, he had stayed at home with me, to make sue I was safe. 

   “You know you’re acting oddly together for a person who’s mentally ill ex boyfriend is stalking her,” he said bluntly, making me crack a smile. 

   “I’m used to it,” I reminded him. “Do you really think he’s mentally ill?” I asked, looking up at him, admiring those fine wrinkles at the edge of his eyes, or between his eyebrows. 

   “Jia, I think he is a sick, sick, boy, who has no idea what kind of situation he is in,” he paused and took a deep breath. “Of course, that in no way justifies the way he has acted, but he needs help. Someone with this many delusions needs to be medicated and institutionalized. 

   “You’re sounding like grandma,” I laughed, mentioning my mother’s mum, who still lived in my mum’s hometown of Quango, where I had used to go and stay for weeks during my summer break in secondary school. 

   “Oh God, no!” My adad began to laugh, as we reminisced over all of my laolao's extremist political views and traditional values. She could be so ridiculous in her opinions, but the way in which she acted, her loud voice compared to her tiny little body, made her more lovable than anything else. “You know, you haven’t seen her for a while, maybe it’s time for another visit.” 

   “I spoke to her on the phone the other day, she seemed alright, auntie’s checking up on her a lot,” I sucked on my bottom lip thoughtfully. 

   “Jia,” my dad took a deep breath, “have you,” he paused and gulped loudly, “you know, she would always have you to stay, we could look at schools over there, you can speak pretty good Mandarin, I’m sure you would settle in quickly.” 

   “I’m sorry, what?” I frowned, confused. 

   “I was just thinking, you know, if things really are as bad as they seem, you could always go and stay with her for a while, it would be a place to get away,” he suggested, but I just shook my head. 

   “I love her, but I can’t move again, it was hard enough considering moving back to Beverly Hills, I don’t know how I would cope moving halfway across the world, I mean, it’s China, it’s hardly round the corner.” 

   “I’m just worried for you, that’s all,” he sighed and I looked up at him, watching his anxious expression as he steadied his eyes on the television screen. 

   “Dad, Harry followed me across the Atlantic,” I twitched my mouth and tried to smooth out the creases in my shirt, across my flat stomach. “Right now, it’s hard to believe he would stop at China.” 

   “One thing I did always admire in that boy was his persistence,” my father said regretfully. 

   “Maybe that was amplified along with his psychosis,” I said dryly. We continued to watch the CSI program, despite the fact our minds were on other things. 

   “So you won’t think about going to stay with grandma for a while, there’s more than enough room in that big old house of hers?” 

   “I can’t keep running away, dad,” I shook my head, “this ends here, it’s gone too far.”