California Dreaming

Chapter Seven

   “You ready?” Gabriel asked, as I opened the front door to him on Monday morning. 

   “Ready for what?” I frowned. 

   “God, don’t look so surprised, I’m not going to ask you to marry me,” he replied sharply and I suddenly felt sad because this was exactly what I was afraid of, that things would change and become awkward. 

   “I’m nearly ready,” I nodded, “one second.” I sat at the bottom of the stairs and pulled on my brogues, grabbing my satchel and a pair of sunglasses before attempting to smile at him, closing the door behind me and taking Gabes’ arm. 

   We started to walk down my street in the warm, Californian sun, the same way we had done every day since I had moved back to Beverly Hills, except, last week, there had not been a single second of awkwardness with Gabes. We could chat so easily together, laugh about almost anything, even if it was not remotely funny. I had been such an idiot, this was all my fault, I had ruined it, just like always. If I had just said yes, we would be holding hands right now. I would be able to brush my fingers through his shaggy hair and feel his smooth, tanned skin under my fingertips. I’d be able to kiss him. I sighed and Gabriel looked down at me, completely oblivious to my inner monologue. 

   “So, did you get the Chemistry homework done?” He asked. 

   “Yes,” I nodded, pleased that there was finally some conversation. “What did you get for question seven?” 

   “The one with hydrocarbons?” I felt his grip on my arm tighten slightly and my heart skipped a beat, or maybe two. Knowing that he wanted me meant the world to me, because I don’t think I had ever cared for someone as much as I cared for him. I understand that this may sound phony, considering I had not known him for ten years, but I am not lying to you. 

   “Yeah, I got 1, 2, dimethyl prop-1-ene?” I knew I was right because Leila had come over to get help with it yesterday, but I didn’t want to end the discussion, because then we would be enveloped in silence once more. 

   “Me too,” he nodded, “but did you draw the display formula too?” 

   “Shit, no,” I grimaced, “I’ll have to do that when we get to school.” I smiled up at him and he looked down at me; he seemed confused. “What would I do without you Gabes?” 

   He didn’t speak for a minute, and I was worried he never would, that I would never hear his voice again, but his expression relaxed and it made me fall head over heels into his eyes. I saw that same sadness again, the want and the desperation, swimming through his irises like a poison, but then a childish smile spread across his face and he chuckled. 

   “Lose a mark on your Chemistry homework,” he laughed, putting an arm around me, as if to say everything was alright. I could have sworn he kissed my head then, but I didn’t want to say anything, for fear he would run away again, properly this time. 

   

   I peered over a the hot plates of food the canteen had so carefully prepared for lunch today, the dish they were calling spaghetti carbonara. It was not spaghetti carbonara, more like grey globs with pieces of animal thrown in there for good measure. There was no doubt that the main meal was off the tables for today, and so I walked towards the salad bar, spooning some pasta salad and lettuce onto my plate. I grabbed a fork and a canned drink before heading over to the table where Leila, Henry and Gabes were already seated, staring at their food with distaste. 

   All of a sudden, someone walked right into me, knocking my lunch out of my hands and causing salad dressing to splatter all the way up my bare legs. My can also clattered to the ground and I crouched down, picking it back up.