Insecure

I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night.

Chandelier - Sia

Sara's POV-

Today was amazing.
He's amazing.

What isn't amazing is how much my legs are burning now that we've been running for fifteen minutes.

Running with Harry is an experience, he's very attentive to me but quiet because well... It's hard to talk when your tits are pretty much slapping you in the face.

But it gave me time, time to think. Time to reflect on everything I've changed in the last few days, everything I've learned about myself. It's weird how one single person can change your view so rapidly, Emily has tried for years but never succeeded.

She never knew the full truth though.

The only people who know I was pregnant are either dead, the doctor or Michael and now Harry. I was shocked he had read my file, not sure why though. It's his job to learn everything about me so he can help me.

But what is this then?

Is this helping me? It seems like it's a lot more then that, like he actually enjoys my company. Michael never did that, not once he had me. Honestly I don't know how I feel about Harry, he's too good for me. I don't deserve his attention but I love it.

Then there's Nathan, I do like him but I'm unsure if it's as a friend or not. He saved me from who knows what Sterling was going to do and he's the first guy my own age to actually show me attention. But I don't really know him like I know Harry and he doesn't know me. He doesn't know my struggles, my past would make anyone uneasy about getting involved with someone so damaged. I also question whether he's genuinely interested in me for me or for my last name. Andrews Financial is pretty well known around the Napa Valley, when my parents passed it was clear that they had two daughter heirs.

I just want to escape this life though, take my inheritance and move down the coast to Monterey and go to the University of Santa Cruz for something I'm actually passionate about.

Not numbers and charts.

I'm tired of my life being dictated, I've tired of being told what to do, when to do it and how.

I want to be free.

Free like I am when I'm with Harry, free to make my own mistakes. Free to love whoever I want without Michael breathing down my neck.

Harry doesn't know.

He doesn't know Michael's my brother in law, he doesn't know that the man he despises so strongly was literally in his grasp just over a hour ago. No one besides Emily knows that Vanessa, while unknowingly, married the man that in a sense killed her parents.

"Let's stop here for some muscle training." Harry says as he slows down in a clearing overlooking the lake, he pulls his backpack off and opens it before tossing me a water, pulling one out for himself and then pulling out a large towel to put on the ground.

"Some what?" I ask before taking a sip of water.

"Weight training without the weights." He says shrugging before getting into a pushup position and doing a few reps. "Sit on my back."

"How about no?" I quip.

"Just do it, none of this bullshit about how you're too heavy either Sara." He snaps back in a low voice that makes my insides turn to goo.

"Fine." I stomp over to him and sit gently on his back.

"Are you even on me?" He asks and I scoff.

"Yes I'm fucking on you Harry." I snap, annoyed with his attitude. He starts doing his pushups again, somehow making it look effortlessly.

"I need like 2 more of you on me to actually give me a challenge love." He teases.

"I don't think you can handle that." I muse causing him to chuckle.

"Up." He commands and I obey. Harry flips over on to him back and looks up at me. "Squat down and hold my ankles." He says, I do as told and Harry puts his arms up behind his head before sitting up.

Why did he have to wear a shirt?

Harry looks up at me biting his lip, he sits up again bringing his head toward my crotch as a blush flushes my face.

"You have a very dirty mind Sara." He says smirking.

I've always wondered what it was like to have a man go down on you, I was far too naive to ask Michael to plus would probably wouldn't anyways.

"Someone's quiet." He says as he finishes his last rep, Harry sits down and drinks his water as I sit back on my heels.

"Just lost in thought I guess, something about the are up here allows you to think clearly you know?" I reply and Harry nods.

"Come on, your turn." He says as he pushes me back on my ass playfully, I feign hurt as he chuckles. "You and I both know it didn't hurt with that ass." He teases.

"Are you saying I have a big butt Harry?" I challenge cocking my brow as he smiles his charming sideways smile.

"In a good way." He smirks and I shake my head smiling before laying back with my knees bent. Harry sits on the tops of my feet with his legs bent around me. As I sit up I come close to his face so I take the time to study it.

He's clean shaven today, when he pulls his hair back and shaved he could easily pass for my age. His jawline is more pronounced too.

"Have you ever thought about cutting your hair?" I ask.

"Not really, I quite like it the way it is but it gets in the way on the bike and working out." He explains. "Why? Do you not like it?"

"No I love it. Not a lot of men can pull it off." I reply and he smirks. Harry leans forward as I do my last sit up and kisses my forehead.

"Back to cardio." He says as he jumps to his feet.

"Um Harry?"

"Yes love?" He answers.

"Looks like you have a bit of a situation there." I inform him and he looks down.

"Fuck." He mutters as I giggle endlessly. "You know what? Screw it." He says before ripping off his shoes and socks followed by his tank top and finally his shorts and pants leaving his alarmingly large arousal on full display through his white Calvin Klein boxers.

"What are you-" I stop myself as Harry runs towards the cliff and plunges into the water 25 feet below. "You're crazy!" I shout.

"Come on in, the water is perfect!" He says after surfacing.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit." I yell back.

"Didn't stop me did it?" He smirks. "Come on, be free with me."