Wicked Game (Dean Ambrose Fan Fic)

Don't Die

Jon's POV:

I was so angry at CJ and Tina for saying anything. It had nothing to do with not actually wanting Ashley there. Of course I wanted her here with me, but it was so much more complicated than that. I sat on the balcony smoking a cigarette and trying to call her. I was worried about her. She was so upset when she left. The sliding glass door opened and I looked over and then back at my phone. I tried to call her again but there was still no answer. I tossed my phone on the table and lit another cigarette

"You two fucking suck you know that"

"We were only trying to protect her."

"From what?"

"You. She's sat around and waited for you for almost 4 years Jon. Don't you think it's time you stop messing with her and let her have a life that doesn't have you in it?"

"I'm not messing with her. Maybe I was at first, but I'm not anymore. I want her back in my life. Why is that so wrong?"

"It's not wrong if you're doing it for the right reasons."

My phone vibrated on the table, but it was a number I didn't recognize. I wasn't going to answer it at first, but what if it was Ashley at a payphone or something. 

"Ashley??"

It was like someone had just punched me in the stomach. My heart pounded in my chest and I started to panic. I hung up the phone and quickly got up from the table. I grabbed my keys and rushed out the door. I knew I should never have let her leave. It just made me even more angry at Tina and CJ. This all could've been avoided if they had kept their mouths shut and let me handle it. I got in the car and sped off to the hospital. I had no idea what I'd be walking in to. They didn't give me any information over the phone. I didn't even know if she was dead or alive. I shook my head trying to get rid of that thought. I just knew that I'd never forgive myself if she died. I started wondering why they called me, but realized it was probably because I had been trying to call her over and over. 

I pulled up to the hospital and went up to the information desk to find out where she was. I ran down the hall to the emergency room and went to the desk. They told me to have a seat and that someone would be out to talk to me in a few minutes. I nervously bounced my leg in my seat. I looked over and the lady next to me was giving me a dirty look like she wanted me to stop. I stopped and took a deep breath and blew it out. I was freaking out inside and the waiting felt like hours. The reality is that it had only been 5 minutes. I hated hospitals to begin with and the all injured and sick people sitting around me just put me more on edge. And they can never show anything on the TVs that is happy. Not that you want to be happy in an emergency room, but at least something that wasn't depressing or CNN. 

"Ashley Carter's family?"

I stood up and walked over. I lied and said she had no family and that I was her fiance. I knew she wouldn't want her dad there even if he were sober enough to show up, and she had no one else otherwise. The nurse had me follow her up to the second floor ICU. She directed me to a small waiting room. I hated being alone in here. The walls were white, the chairs were crappy and uncomfortable and I was pretty sure I used something similar as a weapon in the ring once, there was one plant, two golfing magazines and tons of boxes of tissues. By the door there were tons of pamphlets about hand washing, coughing, immunizations, and then comment cards about the nurses. For some reason I was mildly entertained by that. It was dead silent in here except for the sound of the clock on the wall ticking. I really wanted to rip if off the wall and smash it...the sound was so annoying. And it was so quiet in there you became fixated on the slow tick...tick...tick...tick sound. I put my hands on my temples and groaned in annoyance. I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and stood outside. I sighed a sigh of relief to be away from the noise. I leaned against the wall by the door and waited for someone to tell me what was going on. I just wanted to see her. I just wanted to know she was OK. 

Finally a doctor walked up to talk to me. He directed me to the room with the clock. I could still hear it ticking away and I really just wanted to throw one of these chairs at it. 

"Are we waiting for anyone else?"

"No. She just has me and a few friends, but they're not here."

He started talking a bunch of medical jargon that I didn't give a shit about. All I wanted to know was a. If I could see her and b. if she was going to live or not. That's all I wanted to know, but he insisted on talking on and on and on and on. I was just starting to tune him out when I thought I heard him say something about a head injury.

"I'm sorry...say that again"

"CT Scans showed that there was a small bruise on her brain. We went in and removed the clot that had formed. But there will be swelling over the next couple days. So it will be very difficult to say what the outcome will be at this point..."

"So you can't tell me if she's going to die or not...is that what I'm deciphering from your medical jargon. I'm sorry I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I'm not a doctor and I don't know what half of this medical stuff is."

"Essentially yes, that is what I'm telling you. It's going to be very hard to say either way. My best guess is there's a 40 to maybe 50% chance. We just won't know. It all depends on her and her body."

"Can I see her?"

"Yes. I'll take you back there. Before we go it will probably seem very overwhelming when we go in. There will be a lot of wires, tubes, machines, her face is very bruised and swollen. We put her in a medically induced coma to allow her brain to heal. You can talk to her and let her know you're there. She can hear you. We like to warn visitors so they can prepare themselves for it. You'll need to turn off your cellular phone before we go."

I turned off my phone and followed him through two doors that required a special code to get in. We walked down the hall a short distance and stopped. I wasn't expecting that little speech on what it was going to be like when I walked in. I guess in a way I appreciated it. He let me know where the call button for the nurse was and then left. FINALLY. I opened the door as a nurse was coming out. She stopped and introduced herself to me and let me know to call her for anything. All the things the doctor said in his little preparation speech were starting to pop into my head and I hesitated going in. I suddenly didn't want to do this alone. The nurse from a minute ago saw me still standing outside and offered to go in with me. The moment I walked in was like being hit by a truck. I felt like the air had been sucked from my lungs and everything in me died to see her like that. The nurse was nice enough to explain what everything was and what it did and brought me a chair before leaving. I was afraid to touch her. I stood and stared at her for a minute before holding her hand

"Ashley...baby I'm so sorry.  No matter what anyone has told you about me. No matter what they've said about me. The only words that matter are mine. I know how I feel about you better than anyone. They're not me and they don't know. I love you Ashley. I love you with all of my heart. Please don't die Ashley...I need you."