Wicked Game (Dean Ambrose Fan Fic)

NO!

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!"

"Ashley, nothing happened between that me and that girl in the pictures. I'm telling you the honest truth. Nothing happened. The worst thing that happened is in those pictures. I swear. I admit Ash...I did flirt with her and let her hang all over me and we did kiss. I admit that. I know that I was drunk and it's not an excuse and I'm sorry. I can't take it back. It happened. I never intended for you to find out."

"And that's the problem Jon. You were going to hide it from me. How many other times have you done this and I never knew?? Jon I know that I slept with Josh that one time and I paid for it. But I can't marry you constantly worrying that you're cheating on me with some girl at a bar. It's like you don't care about me at all. It's like you do these things without any kind of guilt or remorse because you know that I'll just come crawling back. I can't keep doing that Jon. We have Tyler now. I'm not the only one who gets hurt and pays when you do this stuff Jon. This just makes everything you said when you proposed to me a blatant lie. Don't you know or care about how much that hurts me?  All I've ever wanted my entire adult life is you. Why am I never enough for you??"

"Ashley it wasn't a lie. Everything I said when I proposed to you was the truth. Please try to understand how sorry I am Ashley. You've always been enough. I know I fucked up Ash....I know. I love you. I truly love you."

"Look all I want is some space right now. I'm asking for you to spend your week thinking about what you REALLY want because I think deep down you don't know. I'll be here. I'm not leaving. But I need you to take this time away and figure it out and let me know.  We can't keep doing this to each other Jon. It's not healthy and it's not what adults who love each other should be doing."

I walked him down to the cab that was taking him to the airport. He held my hand and half smiled at me. He looked sad. I squeezed his hand and smiled back. He pulled me in and gave me a hug. The kind of hug where you just don't want to let go even though you have to. He caressed my cheek and kissed me. He was really trying, but this always happens when he does something wrong. He tries to make it all better by being sweet and it ALWAYS works. I hate that he has that kind of power over me. 

"I'm sorry. I love you Ashley"

"I know you are. I love you too. Don't worry. I'll be here. Just let me know...OK"

I wasn't going to run away from it this time. I wanted to try and make it work and be an adult for once. I believe him when he says he didn't sleep with her. And little does he know I got a hold of Colby and talked to him for a long time about it too. But I do think he needs to get himself together and really figure out what he wants. I think in his heart he wants to be together and get married, but on the other hand I think he likes the idea of all the girls giving him attention and being able to party. Hopefully he works it out while he's gone. I went back upstairs to the apartment and changed my clothes. I was going to be heading back to the hospital to visit with Tyler. He was getting better every day and we're still hoping there's no permanent damage from the lack of oxygen. Only time will tell with that though. I went into his room and grabbed a couple of his favorite toys and brought a book that Jon bought for him a while ago. We only read it when Jon isn't home. I quickly grabbed my keys and purse and was headed out the door when I bumped right into Josh

"What the hell?"

"What the hell right back at you. What are you doing here?"

"I...Mary left me. We were staying at a hotel here because we wanted to see Tyler and I told her that I was still in love with you.."

"Oh Josh you didn't? Really?" I sighed "Josh...you know that's never going to happen between us. I love you as my best friend. I don't love you like I love Jon. We've been over this a million times. I'm sorry about you and Mary, but you shouldn't have told her that. Or maybe you should have so your life together wouldn't have been filled with lies. But my God Josh you've been with her for like 3 years now. You STILL haven't gotten over me?? I mean you obviously loved her enough to propose to her. God Josh this just makes everything more complicated."

"I know this is a total long shot, but I thought that since you and Jon weren't together...."

"Woah, woah, woah, stop right there. We didn't break up. We're still together. We had a fight. It happens. We're working through it. Right now our main focus is Tyler. Josh...I can't be friends with you and hang out with you if you're going to be pining after me all of the time. Jon's going to stop trusting you alone with me again. You have to just let me...."

He stepped towards me and pulled me to him and kissed me. I started kissing back as he backed me into the apartment. This was so wrong. I can't...I can't....I can't...not again...not ever again.  He started unbuttoning my shirt and I pushed him back.

"NO! No way....not again.  This is NOT happening. This right here...no...nope. I can't...you have to leave. I'm not doing this two wrongs make a right thing. I'm sorry Josh...you have to go."

He stepped towards me and kissed me again. I pushed back and slapped him across the face

"You HAVE to go now!! I meant it when I said NO.  I'm not going down this road again. Go work things out with Mary. Or go back home to Cincinnati, but you can't stay here. I don't think we should talk for a while...a long while.  I'm sorry if it looks like I'm turning my back on you, but I have to for now. Goodbye Josh."

I pushed him out of the door and waited until I was sure he was gone before heading down to my car.