Jon left six months ago and I haven't seen him since. I had only talked to him a handful of times as well. He was different. Very very different since leaving. Something happened there that I couldn't explain. I was busy with school as always. Christmas break was coming up. I decided to just stay at the dorms this year. I didn't want to go home to my dad and I'm tired of always spending the holidays with Tina's family. It's so awkward and I obviously didn't belong. Her family always looked down on me because of my dad. Our dad's used to work for the same company before my dad screwed it all up and got fired.
I went to the grocery store and bought a few snacks and small things for myself to eat for the next couple of days. The stores were going to close for the holiday and I wanted to make sure I didn't starve. I had a small refrigerator in my dorm room that I was able to keep a small amount of food in. I drove back to the dorm and grabbed my bags. There weren't a lot of cars around, but then again there wouldn't be. Naturally when my hands were full my cell phone would start ringing. I let it go to voicemail since I couldn't do anything about it. The one thing I hated about my dorm was the fact that there was no elevator. Of course I had to be staying in the oldest building of them all and it required me to lug this crap up three flights of stairs. It was a good thing I was a dancer and in shape because that would be a miserable trip otherwise. I went inside and set my bags on the floor. I threw my phone and cigarettes on the bed and started unloading my groceries. My phone rang again, but I saw that it was my dad and I didn't want to answer. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and turned on Christmas music on Pandora. I sat and stared out the window at the snow lightly falling. My phone went off again and I looked to see I was getting text messages from Tina. Tina NEVER text messages unless it's important. For some reason it's easier for her to text important things instead of calling. She only calls when she has nothing to talk about or something random to report. It made me laugh.
"OMFG Ashley...Jon is back"
"Oh?"
"Yes! I just saw him down at the corner market with some dudes buying booze. I barely recognized him...he's so skinny. Have you seen him?"
"Uhhhh obviously not. Hmm...well, he knows where I live and what my number is. I'm not going to take the time to reach out to him and call. The last time we talked was kind of weird so I've really backed off the communication."
"Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come here for the holidays?"
"No I don't. Especially now that I know you're running into Jon at the liquor store. I'd rather just stay here and enjoy my peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
"Ash I hate seeing you alone on the holidays"
"Plz that's nothing new. Have a Merry Christmas. I'll talk to you later."
"O Holy Night" by Josh Groban came on and I laid on my bed lost in thought. I loved this song more than any other Christmas song. His voice was so soothing and I drifted off to sleep. I woke up the next morning with Christmas music still playing on my computer. Merry Christmas Ashley I was mildly bummed I was alone on Christmas Eve, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I grabbed my towel and toiletries and was going to make my way to the bathroom to shower. I opened the door and there was a small present, with a rose and card on the floor outside. I smiled and looked down the hall in both directions. No one was there so I put the stuff inside on the desk and went down the hall to the showers. I got out and wrapped a towel around myself and stood in front if the mirror. My highlights were starting to fade and I decided my Christmas present to myself was to get my hair done. I towel dried my hair and brushed it out. I walked back down the hall to my room and saw that my door was slightly ajar Shit! I thought I closed that! I pushed it open, walked in and turned around to lock it
"You know you really should close your door if you're not going to be in here."
I jumped and quickly turned around. I recognized that voice!
"Jon! You scared the shit out of me!" I smiled
He looked very different. Thin, tired and completely worn out. He walked over to me and smiled and gave me a hug. He was drunk. How he even made it here in the snow from Cincinnati without getting in an accident or pulled over was beyond me. He leaned in and gave me a kiss. I pulled back and put my hand on his chest asking for space.
"What's wrong? You don't love me anymore?"
"Jon that's not it at all. You're drunk. And have you looked in a mirror lately? What'd you do lose like 20 pounds? You look like shit Jon. Like you've been through some stuff. What happened to you?"
He took a step back and looked at me. He knew exactly what I was talking about, but didn't want to tell me. I kept waiting for him to say something, but got nothing. So I decided to let it go for now. It didn't really matter anyway and I figured he'd tell me when he was ready. Maybe he wouldn't tell me at all. It was up to him. I smiled and took his hand. I had missed him regardless. There were a lot of things running through my head. I wanted him to stay, but at the same time I didn't really want to be with him. Part of me was still hurt about how he left and I still felt like part of what he said was true. I think I probably did love him and care about him more than he ever did me. And our conversations on the phone the past six months have been weird and awkward. I felt like I didn't know him anymore. The things he said to me changed the way I saw him and I didn't know how to look past that. He stepped towards me again and smirked. His smirk always made me grin. It was so mischievous and it always meant he was up to no good.
"SO...Do I get to have my Christmas present now or later??"
I gave him a confused look and then looked down and realized that I was still just wearing the towel from my shower. I laughed a little
"Who said anything about a Christmas present??" I teased
"Now then?"
He leaned in and started kissing me. I had missed his kiss so much...wait what the hell was I doing? It wasn't supposed to be like this. But I couldn't say no. Or more like didn't want to say no. I hated that I was so emotionally connected to him in this way. I kept playing over and over in my head the things that I would say if I saw him face to face again and yet here I am throwing it all out the window because I just couldn't help myself around him. He broke away and took off his shirt and I pulled him back. This is such a big mistake I thought to myself as he backed me up against the wall. The towel came off and he lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I was so frustrated with myself in my head. All you had to do was say no and you couldn't even do that That little voice in the back of my head taunting me and making me feel guilty for what I was doing.
STAI LEGGENDO
Wicked Game (Dean Ambrose Fan Fic)
Fanfiction"You couldn't even pick up the phone and tell me?" "No, you didn't deserve to know"
