Meet Tyler

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We went back in the house and he hesitated. I turned around to look at him and he had walked into the living room and sat down. I sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him. He was nervous and I think it was overwhelming for him. This isn't exactly something we'd had a conversation about when we were together. Neither of us were ready or wanted kids right now so I can see why he'd hesitate. But there's nothing he can do about it except either choose to be there or choose not to be there. It was up to him and I wasn't going to force him either way. Even if he never came back after today I wanted him to at least have the opportunity to see Tyler and meet him. 


"Are you OK Jon?  Look the choice is yours. You don't have to ever come back after today. I understand, but I would like you to at least meet him. I'm not asking for anything else. Whatever you choose is fine. But just know that working on 'us' means dealing with being a dad too. We can't fix 'us' like he doesn't exist because he does."


He stared at me for a minute and sighed. I don't think he really knows what he wants. I think he came here with a clear goal of getting me back and Tyler kind of threw a wrench in his plan. I smiled and he smiled back. I wish he'd just tell me what he wanted to do so we could get on with this. I reached out and took his hand and squeezed it


"Jon, do you want to do this or not?"


He finally nodded "Yeah"


"OK. I'll be right back. We'll do it in here since no one will be around."


I walked into the family room and asked everyone else to please just stay in there. I went into my room and Tyler had woken up and seemed to be in a good mood...thank god! He had learned to say Hi and he liked to say it to everyone he saw. I quickly changed him and got him a sippy cup of juice to keep him happy. I was nervous of what Jon's reaction will be. I picked him up and carried him towards the living room. I stopped in the doorway between the living room and family room.  Jon froze. He was so uncomfortable already and I hadn't even come in the room yet. All of the sudden Tyler yells out "HI!" and waved. I smiled and turned around to see that Colby and Joe were waving at him. I laughed


"Making new friends?"


"He's cute"


"Thanks Colby."


I turned back around and walked towards Jon. I could see it in his face. The closer I got the more uncomfortable he became. I was trying to find a way to make it seem less intimidating and uncomfortable, but I couldn't figure anything out. He was just going to have to deal with it I guess. I walked over to the love seat next to the couch and sat down with Tyler on my lap. I remembered something that I had been doing with Tyler since he was very tiny and decided that since I had Jon in person I would give it a try


"Tyler, who is that?"  I said pointing to Jon


"Dad-dy"  He answered quietly while chewing on his sippy cup straw


I smiled and looked up at Jon. He kept looking at me and then at Tyler and then back at me. 


"How....?"


"I point you out in pictures and on TV. I've done it since he was a little baby."

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