Found Me [Harry AU // COMPLETED]

Chapter Thirty Four

She's gone physco

She's fucking insane

He couldn't see this coming, he didn't expect for his wallet to fall and for her to find that picture. He knows she would blame herself. But he didn't know it would hurt this much.

Was this why people deny the truth a lot?
Because it hurts more than getting burned alive? Because it stings more than getting cut? Because it hurts on the inside and you can't cure it just like that?

Walking away will make it even painful, he'll have to think about her pain as well, about Gemma's sanity, about how things will go now. It might all change and he might crumble away again.

He strides fast towards the direction Aronica has went, wishing she didn't disappear already and never see him again. So he feels a bit of a relief when her moving body comes to sight.

"Wait, Ron, please" he's calling out for her and she eventually stops, sighing when she looks up before facing him.

"What? Is there something else you're hiding?" Her voice shakes and sounds like it's on thin string, losing its balance before it will just break away.

"No, I want to, I want to tell you something" she keeps quiet, giving him he permission to speak up. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. This might sound very selfish but I knew you would be this way and you would walk away soon and I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want you to leave"

"Yeah you're right, that's very selfish of you" she says after a while of quietness.

"I'm not mad at you. There's no reason for me to be mad at you. But I'm hurt to why you didn't say anything and just kept all the emotions to yourself. I'm left here wondering why this became such a huge secret you decided to keep. How did you even look at me?" She's crying again and he walks even further, expecting her to back away but she doesn't. Almost reaching her close, she stops him.

"No! No, don't. I'm begging you. You had a chance to save Gemma but you blew it. You had a chance to save me but you let it slip away. Because of your selfish reasons. So what if I walk away? I'm just the girl who re-"

"You didn't have a choice in replacing me! God, how are you not getting that? None of this is your fault, okay? I didn't see you as the girl who lived in my position, I saw you as a girl I liked. I saw you differently and I never cared. Yes, I'm selfish. I cared for only my purposes and I didn't think thoroughly about keeping it as a secret but I only, I only wanted to deny it. I was in denial. The truth sucks a lot and that's not even an excuse. So I'm sorry, that's all I can say" he's letting all of it to go, it doesn't seem to matter anymore.

"I'll have to go. Come whenever you're ready to see her. But not me. Don't try to have any intention to see me" and before he can say anything else, she's gone.

He's lost her.

He doesn't know who's at fault now. He doesn't know who's supposed to say sorry now.

He's lost too.

--

Walking back towards himself with a completely empty head, his eyes slowly lose focus and he couldn't even see the body in front of him before he collides into it.

"Damn, what's wrong with you?" And he immediately looks up, finding Deanne in her usual hoodie and light blue jeans. Her face is exposed now, like she knew Harry knows about it. Like she has no other choice but to face it.

And she's right. She has to face it.

"You-" he can't get anything out of himself, just stuttering and wondering what the fuck is going on.

"Let's talk inside your place, it's suddenly cold and I'm freezing in just this" she says before shamelessly walking inside the basement.

"Wait how did you find out I live here?"

The question was left in the air, about to turn into some gas particle before she brings it back on the table.

"What sort of friend would I be if I didn't know where you live?" She mumbles, shutting the windows and rubbing her hands together to create some heat. He just watches her, being careful to not say anything that can hurt her.

"I know you have a lot of questions" she points out. "And they're all about me being MIA and shit"

"You do know then. How I was waiting for you to pick me up while I was hanging on that cliff wondering what the hell happened to you"

"You hung on a cliff?! I didn't know yo-"

"It was just a phrase, stupid. You left me hanging, that was what I meant" he picks on the loose threads of his jumper, holding back all the feelings he's having. From disappointment to relief, he's simply glad to have his friend back.

"Well why didn't you just say so..." She gives him a small smile. "I'm sure you saw me that day. With your girl at the ice cream store"

He gives her this, 'I don't get it?' look and she's frustrated, hating to mention it.

"I was shouting at a guy. And you both tried to chase after me"

"Oh, oh yeah. Yeah what was the deal? You disappeared and then came back like...like this. Deanne I swear if he did anyt-"

"He's gone already. As the typical story, I had a toxic relationship with him. He made himself look pitiful and took my scholarship and now I'm left with nothing. But the heart wants what it wants so I stayed and stayed despite all the crap and bullshits he gave me" her face turned into a really scary look and for a second he couldn't recognize her.

"And then I accidently...I...out of self defense, I stabbed him. On the thighs and now he's out to fucking get me and...here I am" her hands wave in the air, like she's done with whatever happened and he could tell all she needed was trust.

"What about the police?" He asks.

"I've reported. They're tracking him right now and I need a place to stay. My parents are out of town for a month because of their work and they took my spare key after I moved out. Not like they would answer my calls, they had probably changed their numbers" she shrugged, her shoulders weak to do so.

"Okay. Okay I have an extra mattress and blankets so you can stay here in the mean time" he walks over to where he had kept it.

"What about her? Wouldn't she misunderstand?"

He pauses, looking into the blank wall and without second thoughts, he says, "she doesn't care anymore"