Constraint >>H.S

Chapter 45

After the doctor left and Harry were done with the wounds getting cleaned he fell asleep with a big smile on his face. I didn't fall asleep next to him though. I fell asleep on the little couch next to the window,I really didn't want to disturb his sleeping.

The next day Harry woke up quiet early,earlier than me. I could hear his soar body move in the small bed and I could hear the groans leaving his lips from the pain,stabbing him like knifes.
Slowly I opened my eyes and just looked at him trying to get up. I furrowed my eyebrows and bite my lip.

"Harry what are you doing?" I mumbled while sitting up on the couch.
His eyes shut up to me and his cheeks turned into a red colour.

"I um...I need to use the bathroom" he coughed and help onto the sheets hard,making his knuckles turn into a red colour.

"Harry I'll help you...Don't go alone" I shook my head and pushed myself up from the red little couch and walked over to Harry.
He looked up in me and blinked twice hard and smiled gently. I smiled huge back and placed my lips onto his soft once.

"Okay...be careful now okay? This might hurt your ribs" I held onto his arm and carefully helped to drag him up from the bed. Loudly he groaned and his head swans backwards in pain while his eyes shut tightly.

"Hey...Harry breath" I mumbled and stroke his hair back from his forehead. He nodded fast and let out an exhausted breath.

Slowly we started to move together towards the little bathroom in the same room we already were in. I opened up the door and helped him inside.

"Do you need any help here or so you rather not?" I chuckled and looked up to him. He huffed and looked down o me.

"Just wait outside yes?" He asked politely and kissed my forehead.
I nodded and kissed his jaw and left the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I bite my lip and ran my thumb over my lip.

I couldn't get over how strong Harry were. That he could keep up with everything going on and at the same time pushing away the need of his OCD. I almost felt like a proud mother. From the first day I met him in the cafeteria and to the day today Harry had change drastically,in a good way.

I sighed and furrowed my eyebrows. Harry had been inside the bathroom in 5 minutes now and he haven't said a thing.

"Harry?" I knocked and grabbed the handle. I shook my head and fast opened up the door. Harry just stood there,starring into the mirror and his own eyes being deadly quiet. I raised my eyebrow and walked up to him.
"Harry are you okay?"

He didn't answer me. He just stood there looking at himself while mumbling something for himself that I couldn't hear. I laid my hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Harry?" I mumbled. Fast he looked over to me with tears in his eyes,making his green colour shine like new cleaned diamonds.
"No...Harry what's wrong?" I shook my head and bite my lip hard and confused.

He shook his head and sobbed in while looking back into the mirror.
"What do you see?" He mumbled and pointed towards himself.
"What do you see when you look at me?" His lips trembled and his nose turned slightly red.

"I see a beautiful and strong man...that I love." I nodded and placed my hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and shook his head.
"What do you see Harry?" I didn't really want to hear his answer to that but at the same time I really needed to know.

"I can see...Pain,fear,pure panic..." he sobbed in. "Weakness...and OCD freak that can't handle shit!" He spit out and hit myself in the head really fast three times with his palm. I gasped and grabbed his wrist fast. His other hand started to hit himself too and cries of pain left his lips.

"I'm so sorry..." I mumbled before grabbing real hard onto his wrists and pushing him towards the wall,holding up his arms to the side of his head.
He groaned out and let the tears stream down his already red cheeks.

"Harry please calm down!..." he groaned out and rolled his eyes almost to the back of his head. I widen my eyes and gulped hard.
"Harry! Harry look at me!" I groaned and held onto his hands hard.

He shook his head and stamped his feet hard into the ground.
"Harry look at me!!!"I yelled making him stop drastically. His green eyes looked into mine and my heart dropped.
"Harry...please calm down...step one" I sobbed and slowly laid his hands down to the side of his body.

He just looked at me until more tears formed into his eyes and ran down his cheeks. I shook my head and fast embraced him with my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around me and burrowed his face into my neck sobbing.

"Don't even say that about yourself ever again because none of that is true" Harry didn't answer he just stood there holding me tightly onto his chest. I could feel his heart race and I could hear his breathing starting to calm down.

"Let's get you to bed...you need to rest" I laid his arm around his neck and slowly I helped him out back to the bed.

Harry didn't fall asleep but he just laid there looking at me while I looked at him. It were still a big question why he would even think that if himself to me. I didn't want him to think that of himself and I didn't want him to feel like his OCD made him less good or less important.

"Step 3...Love yourself" Harry Bite his lip and looked down to the sheets.
"Please?" I sobbed and looked him deeply into his eyes.

"Okay..." he sighed "it will be hard Alli..." he sighed and sounded like he already gave up.

"You can do this..." I got up from the couch and bent over him and kissed him deeply
"I believe in you"