LightWeight

Step Sixteen

"Okay, so this time go soft again, build up, you know the drill." Before I could even fully collect what he said, the music started. He mouthed sorry, and at first I was confused, until I realized he accidentally started it from the beginning.

Waiting for the cue, I focused in on CJ. He mouthed something to me, but I didn't catch on to what he said. Feeling holes being burned in my head, I turned to my left. It was four eyes : Prince and Mila. Even though nothing was happening, Prince was staring like I just did an entire acrobatic routine. At the same time, Mila stared at me like I threw up on her new Louie Button purse and she was forced to walk around with it strapped to her wrist. I can’t even remember our confrontation, or reason for it. Wait, yes I can. But I haven't even spoken to Prince in who knows how long, so what is her issue?

The beat began, and my gaze found its way settled on CJ. His eyes were the clearest brown, and they invited you in. They invited you to see every part of him that normal people would want to hide. “I don’t really like big crowds/ I tend to shut people out/I like my space, yeah"

We all knew it to be true, because I, personally, loved to be alone rather than around smiling faces. A smiling face doesn't always mean a happy soul.

"But I’d love to have a soul mate / God will give him to me someday /& I know it’ll be worth the wait/ So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you/ But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone/ Cause when the time is right/ You’ll be here, but for now/ Dear no one, this is your love song/  But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold/ Someone to give me their jacket when its cold/ Got that young love even when we’re old/ Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand/ Pick me up, pull me close, be my man/I will love you till the end..."

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the highest part of the song. I had to put every emotion in it. "So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you/ But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone/ Cause when the time is right/ You’ll be here, but for now/Dear no one, this is your love song..."

My breathe came heavy, and my heart race beyond my control. I wiped the stray tears running down my eyes, and quickly exited from the room. I went down the hall, to a vacant bathroom stall, and rested against the wall.

I remember writing the song when I was fourteen years old, just three years ago, and right before being discovered. I just discovered my passion for song-writing, and a lot was going on. My therapist had me recalling childhood memories, my dad was.....ugh,and my Mom became distant, and at a young age I had started looking for love that I never found. One day, I just sat, and wrote. It took me three hours, but at the end of it I had Dear No One...basically telling of how I quit trying.

Thirty minutes passed before I received a text to come back in the room. Marcus was one of the best, so I knew he already added my vocals to the instrumental, and was ready to play it back. Of course this wasn't the final comp, but it was close to it.

Entering the room, all eyes were on me, for a brief second. I sat in the chair next to Marcus, and nodded my head as a way of telling him to begin. As soon as it began my heart awoke with emotions. It was truly. beautiful, and the emotion overpowered everything else. It was something I knew everyone could relate to, whether they lived in this moment for a lifetime or brief second.

When it ended several pairs of eyes States at me in anticipation, but I only found myself capable of holding one.

"I love it."

And then it was dark.

The storm knocked all power out of the building. Without the commotion of elevators and phones, you could hear the menacing sound of raindrops as they threatened to pound there was through the iron into the building. The thunder crackled every few minutes, and lighting every few seconds. A flash flood warning was ensued, trapping us in the studio, and forcing us to cancel the concert for tonight. All seven of us tweeted it on our individual accounts, and since then we were responding to fans, and promised them something new was added. Depending on the damage, we may be able to hold a last minute meet and greet somewhere, but that would be expensive. Chances were more likely of an Ustream- which I've never done.

At this moment though...we were doing nothing.We, being CJ and me. We snuck away in the middle of the chaos, down the hall near a big seating window. We sat under it, watching as the thunder, clouds, and rain mingled together to create images on the far wall. Every time the thunder crackled, I jumped a little from shock. But this time it sounded like it was right next to me, hitting the inside of my ear. I cursed to myself as I jumped up, landing practically in Prodigy's lap.

"Sorry." I said, moving back over.

“It’s good." He covertly placed his hands on my waist, gently tugging me back. "You're scared of thunder?"

“Not really scared," I laid my head against the wall, and he moved his in the crook of my neck. "It’s just... no matter how much I know it's coming, it still shocks me."

He chuckled. His breath warmed my skin and sent vibrations down my spine. "What inspired that song you wrote?"

"How do you know I wrote it?"

“There’s too much emotion for you not to have."

I didn't know how to answer him. My Dad loved me in the wrong way; it felt like my Mom didn't love me at all. I had no family, my Mom’s lived on the other side of the country and she quickly lost contact with them after her wedding, and my Dad's shunned us after the truth came out. Friends were nonexistent, and boys only wanted one thing-while I searched for something.

“At one point...I gave up, and decided it was the wrong season, and I was searching for the wrong things, for the wrong reasons...and I wrote Dear No One, as a pledge, kind of a reminder, that when God is ready for me to have someone, they'll come. I was fourteen."

"How did that go?" I didn't respond to him, instead focusing on the scene as it was. His grip around me tightened lightly, and I felt my body tensing with it. "Relax." He whispered to me.

"You don't understand... how bad I'm trying to open..." I felt my passages closing, and I felt my heart increasing. Breathing seemed to be the equivalent f pushing an 18-wheeler alone, and sweat beads started to form on my skin like mosquitos on a misty day. Soon, I stood up, shaking my head. I hated it. I hated the way my skin crawled when he touched me, and I hated that it was because of him. "I'm sorry..." I bagged away from him. "I'm so sorry."

A/N Check out my new story "Periculum" !