True to Me//George Daniel

Chapter 36

It's these sorts of times when I really miss Matty. When I'm sat on the sofa, watching Bake Off with a nice cold beer.

We used to do this together even before Maddy came around. Back in the day when it was just us bachelors and Ross and Adam would be at their own places for the night we would just watch old episodes of Bake Off, piss ourselves laughing at Mary Berry and drink beer all night till we were smashed and would end up falling asleep.

I miss those days, neither of us had any problems or any worries. Everything revolved around the band and what it would become and our future and our happiness.

And now look at me.

Sat on the same sofa by myself watching an episode of Bake off by myself, drinking my third beer by myself and I'm not happy in the slightest.
I love the band more than anything, the music, the fans, the road but it's my last priority in this moment.
How am I supposed to be in a band with someone who can't even look at me?

I think deep down, I know that me and Matty will be fine but there's this sense of betrayal. The other day after Blackbear stormed out and Ty followed soon after and then Maddy and Kenny went off it was just awkward. I used a tragic Charlie as an excuse to leave so I didn't have to face him. But I miss him so much.
Missing your best friend is like missing an organ. Especially since we were so close.

I can't help but pick up my phone. The amount of texts and calls have reduced loads now. No one has bothered because I haven't previously given them a chance. But a text from Matty still lies there clear as day from this morning.

M: what you doing today? (12:00pm)
G: watching bake off (20:00)
M: I'm coming over. (20:01)
M: don't try and stop me. (20:01)

The truth is that I don't even want to try and stop him. My friendship with him comes before anything. I've been a dick to him in the past and throughout this situation. Reacting with anger never helps anyone yet that's what I consistently do.

When I open the door the first thing Matty does is wrap me up in a tight hug. It's like my breath has been taken out of my body as I hug him back. It's the most emotional moment we've ever shared.
When you spend everyday with someone for a number of years you can't help but miss them when they aren't around.
Matty is my bestest friend and it's about time we had this night.

"I'm so sorry George. What I did was a dick move but I honestly didn't know what to do. I was about to get married to Maddy and I wasn't even supposed to know. My loyalties do lie with you, dead straight, but it was such a serious thing and you seemed finally over Kenny, finally better and bringing that up would cause you even more pain. I can't imagine what you feel, a child is something serious and I'm sorry I was part of the deprivation of you knowing. You're my brother mate and I screwed up. Even by the things I said. I'm sorry."

Mattys paragraph doesn't really make things any better but it does justify what he's done. He had screwed up but who am i to say he can't make a mistake? The argument we had that day where he said he was sick of being my dad was very true. He has always been there for me and I've lacked the same.

"I know Matty. I know you're sorry and I shouldn't be blaming you for all of this. This is all down to Kenny at the end of the day and although what you did is wrong you're my best friend and my band mate and I've got to forgive you at some point."

He hugs me again and we stand in the doorway like that for about two minutes until my neighbour comes out with his girlfriend and smiles at us awkwardly.
I smile back as I pull away from Matty.
Now he thinks we're gay.

I just laugh as I pull Matty in, ignoring how much of a couple we look and closing the door.

"Do you want a beer or something?" I ask as we both walk to the kitchen.