This Is How I Disappear

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-Winter's POV-

I woke up earlier than usual today. That was the best sleep I've ever had in years, it was peaceful and no shitty nightmares. My thoughts was interrupted when my phone rang so I answered it.

"Hey, Gee. What's up?" I said.

"Can we talk? In person." He said seriously. I felt like something was up so I just agreed.

"Of course. Just text me where." I said and he just gave a small hum and hang up. I know something happened because he wasn't his usual self and that made me worry. I got the text and immediately did my morning routine, I went to the coffee shop where he wanted to meet. I saw him sitting on a corner, his face in his palms.

I sat next to him, "Hey, Gerard. What's wrong?" I said and placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked up to face me.

"I don't want to leave you alone." He said. My eyes went wide as soon as I saw his face. His eyes bloodshot with dark bags under. His hair messier than usual. His skin paler than it already was before.

"What happened? What do you mean you don't want to leave me alone?" I said in confusion.

"We're going on tour for half a year." He said.

"H-Huh?" I said, not knowing what to respond.

"We're leaving next week." He said, his voice cracking.

"But.. w-why is it that long?" I said as a tear fell from my eyes.

"We're touring all over America for a few months. And we can't go back home after that. We have to stay at Europe for almost a month to discuss some work. And three months to tour in many other countries." He said slowly so he won't choke on his tears.

I didn't know what to say. I was only just starting to feel alive because of them, and now they're already leaving. I held back my tears as we were in a public place, but I couldn't hold it back after a minute and my tears fell on their own. Gerard hugged me and I buried my face on his chest to cry. I could feel my shoulders getting wet because his face was buried on it, crying as well. We just cried for who knows how long until there's no more tears left in our eyes.

We pulled from the hug, "Can you just come with us?" He said.

"I can't leave my mom for that long." I said and looked down, I felt bad for not agreeing to him.

"I understand. I'll miss you and you have no idea how much." He said.

"I know, Gerard. I know. I'll miss you too. So much." I said.

"Promise me you'll never cut while we're on tour." He said and I nodded.

"I promise. Call me everyday?" I said.

He nodded and smiled to calm me down.

"But what about the time zone?" I said in worry.

"I would even wait all night just to talk to you." He said.

"Okay, but if you can't call because you're tired then just tell me so I won't be worried sick. And please tell that to Frank too." I said and he just nodded.

"What if we do something fun this whole week?" He said.

"That's a great idea." I said with a small smile, "But first, you need to rest right now. And eat." I said and he agreed so we ended up going to his house.

"I'll do something for awhile and you go rest, okay?" I said as we get inside and he just nodded, going upstairs.

I started cooking a healthy dish. I didn't rush my cooking to let Gerard get more sleep so I finished after an hour.

I went inside his room to wake him up with food in my hands, putting it on top of his bedside table.

"Hey, Gee. Wake up." I said, shaking him lightly. He let out a low groan.

"Come on, it's time to eat. I cooked something for you." I said and his eyes flattered open.

"Please tell me you aren't joking." He said, still half asleep.

"Look at your bedside table." I said and he did. He immediately sit up.

"Okay, I'm up!" He said happily and I chuckled.

"Just go downstairs or call me when you're finished. I'll be there." I said and he nodded. I kissed his cheeks and left his room.

He looked better but I think he needs more rest. I'll just stay here so that I can take care of him. I was texting my mom when Gerard called me.

"I'm coming!" I said as soon as I sent the message. I went over to his room and sat beside him.

"You like it?" I said and his face lit up.

"Best dish I've ever had." He said.

"Thanks, Gee. Go get some more sleep, I'll just wash the dishes." I said while standing up but he grabbed my wrist.

"Hmm?" I said.

"Can you make it quick? I want to cuddle with you." He said and I looked at him hesitantly but screaming on the inside.

"Of course, Gee. I'll be back in a few minutes and we can cuddle." I said and gave him a cheeky smile.

"Thanks, Winter." He said as he let go of my wrist. I stood up and left to do the dishes.

I deeply inhaled and let out a sigh. I shouldn't be thinking about the tour right now but I couldn't get it off my head and get sad about it. I want to go with them but I know my Mom wouldn't let me. But I'll still ask her if I can. After I finished washing the dishes, I went upstairs and inside Gerard's room.

"Gee? Are you up?" I said as I close the door. He didn't say anything but I can hear his deep breaths as a sign of him already asleep. I lay down next to him and we cuddled until I drifted off to sleep in this warm and safe arms wrapped around me.