This Is How I Disappear

IX

-Winter's POV-

For the first time in years, I don't feel the urge of cutting right now that I'm in the bathroom. Gerard and Frank really made me feel so special and that I still have a reason to live.

"Winter?" Gerard said outside the bathroom door.

"Give me a sec. I'm almost finished." I said. After I got fully dressed, I opened the door and turn around and faced the mirror, putting my hair up in a messy bun.

"Hey, Gee. What's up?" I said looking at him on the mirror behind my back.

"Nothing, I just missed you." He said and hugged me on my back, his arms wrapped around my waist and chin on my shoulder while looking at me on the mirror.

"But I just left to take a shower. I think it was just 10 minutes." I said and put my arms on his hands that's on my stomach.

"I know. I just want to spend every second with you." He said and kissed my cheeks.

I pulled out of the hug and turned to face him.

"Thank you." I said, looking directly into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"What for?" He said.

"For everything. You've always been there when I'm in trouble. At the bar, when my dad tried to abuse me again and you made him stop, when I was screaming here on my bathroom floor. For taking care of me, making me feel so much loved, and for making me feel alive again." I said, losing myself in his eyes.

"It'd be great if I could make you feel that way forever." He said as a tear fell from my eyes, but it's a happy tear this time. I put my hands on his cheek and we just stared at each other eyes for God knows how long.

---

"Will you be alright here alone?" Gerard said with Frank beside him, they're about to leave.

"Gee. Stop worrying about me. I'm fine. My mom will be here anytime soon so I'll only be alone for just another few hours." I said.

"Do you want us to stay longer?" Frank said.

"No, you two should go home. I got this." I said with a smile to make it easier for them to believe.

"Okay, just call me when you need me." Gerard said and Frank agreed.

"Bye, Winter. We'll see you some other time." Frank said.

"Bye, guys. Take care." I said and they nod and made their way to the door.

"I love you." Frank and Gerard said at the same as soon they got outside.

"I love you both too." I said as I smiled to them and they walked away so I closed the door. I said I was fine being alone, but deep inside, I wasn't. If it's possible to make them stay here with me forever, I would love to. But I guess everything's not going to be what you want them to be. I just sat on the couch at the living room and watched the tv. I missed them already.

I decided to put some music on. I played Cemetery Drive and the speakers blasted on full volume while I sang with it.

"Well, I miss you, well I miss you so faaaaaaaaarrr!" I let myself get lost in the music and I played a few more songs by MCR and some of Misfits and Iron Maiden's too.

"Honey, I'm home!" Mom said standing at the front door so I turned off the music.

"Mom!" I happily said and ran over to give her a huge hug.

"I missed you, princess. How was your day?" She said and we went over the kitchen to talk.

"It's my favorite day so far." I said and told her about last night and what happened on this day.

"I'm glad to hear that, sweetie. It's so good to see you happy again." She said, almost crying from happiness and I hugged her.

"I love you, Mom." I said.

"I love you more, my princess." She said and I told her to get some sleep since it's almost ten pm. I lost track of time because of the music.
I walked inside my room and tried to get some sleep but couldn't. I texted Frank and Gerard, asking them if they're still awake and Gerard is awake but Frank didn't reply so I guess he's already asleep.

G - "Can't sleep?"

Me - "Yeah. Do you mind talking for awhile?"

G - "No, I don't mind. What do you wanna talk about?"

Me - "About everything. I mean, you, me, and Frank."

G - "What about it?"

Me - "Are you two doing fine when I'm not around?"

G - "We're okay now. I mean, when he told me about how he felt for you, I got so anxious and kinda mad. But we talked about it already and we're doing great."

Me - "That's great. But I've always wanted to ask a question."

G - "Tell me abou it."

Me - "What exactly do you guys see in me?"

G - "Everything about you. You're the strongest and most brave person I know but kind hearted at the same time. I love the way you laugh without any hesitation. And being true to yourself. You might not see it but believe me when I say you're the most beautiful person I know."

Me - "Stop you're making me cry."

G - "I'm glad I made you happy."

Me - "Thanks, Gee. I'm gonna sleep now."

G - "Anytime. Goodnight and sweet dreams. I love you Winter."

Me - "I love you too Gee, goodnight."

I turned off my phone and drifted off to sleep peacefully.