Appa (BTS fanfic)

[4]

A male strolls down the path with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. The wind picks up and rustles alone discarded wrapping paper. He pays no heed to the sound as he silently continues his journey.

He stops and looks at the entrance sign. He sighs softly, readjusting his grip before taking a step. He greets the person-in-charge and signs in, indicating where he was going. He slightly bows before entering the actual venue.

After walking past rows of stones, his footsteps slows to a stop. He bends down and gently lay the flowers in front of a perfectly carved marble stone. Tons of other flowers were laid, some withering but mostly fresh. He smiles, identifying who visited. "You're still popular," he jokes with a smile, returning to standing position.

The wind picks up once again and he shoves his hands into his pockets. He spends a minute in silence before speaking, "I miss you."

The wind howls back at him as his gaze remains fixed to the stone. "I don't know if you have been watching me but... I drank when you were gone. For a week, I did that. Yunhyeong hyung pulled me out of... that and got me back on my feet just by his words," he speaks.

"I missed you terribly then," he confesses with a sad smile. "The alcohol numbed my senses from everything and I wished that I was dead so I could be with you."

Something pokes at his eyes as he takes a long breath. "I never thought I would get out of it, honestly. Up till now, I am still not over you," he states. "I can't look at a girl and not see you in them. I'll start comparing them to you and every single time, you trump them all."

"iKON hasn't had a comeback in ages and I sometimes wonder is it because we don't work hard enough to prove to sajangnim that we're good enough," he rants mindlessly. "Being the leader is now being a burden... the group members are understanding but the company is wishing we could put better content out there. They turn down any songs we put forth. The kids are getting restless."

"What should I do?" he mumbles, frustratedly running a hand through his hair. "Both sides are pressing me for something but there is nothing. I cannot bear to tell the kids that the company wants better songs. I can't tell the company that the kids want to comeback... what should I do?"

He stays there for the next few hours, softly ranting about his problems and issues. Unknowingly, his heads loll forward and it rests against the cool stone, right next to her picture. Two hours later when the sun starts to set, another male walks in, stride steady and heads for the sleeping male.

He puts the sleeping male's arm over his neck as he looks at the picture. "Thank you for taking care of him," the male thanks as he pulls the both of them to standing position.

A few days later, the same male who came with flowers, appears once again. He strolls down the very same path with another bouquet in his hand. hen he got to the entrance sign, he pauses, noticing another figure right at his destination.

He stays hidden, unsure who the person was but the silence allowed the words to be bounced off the walls into his ears, "Thank you for taking care of hyung. It's been pretty hard since you left... it's hard for all of us. People think that I'm crazy that I still believe that afterlife is where people still live eternally and... it's hard. Because I feel your presence so strongly sometimes, right next to his presence."

"I miss you. You were like an unchanging figure in our lives. I know the twins will grow up and may end up leaving my life completely but I knew you wouldn't but just... with this whole thing changing every single thing."

A heavy breath was inhaled. "I don't know when I will stop being thankful to you but thank you once again. Because of you, hyung learned to forgive his father. Hyung learned to love. Your death has really affected him, despite not wanting to show it, it is really hard for hyung."

"I just wish he will share his burden. All of us knows it is extremely hard for him to be a leader and handle your death. Sajangnim allowed a few days off but he refused, shutting himself in the recording room and produced. But those songs couldn't be used, they were not like the image sajangnim wanted to give us. Those songs were dark and raw, it's saddening to know that it will never be released."

Both their fist slightly clenches. Another heavy breath was inhaled. The male in front of the stone starts to break down, "I can't. I-I re-really can't do this. I cannot pretend that talking to you makes me feel better. It doesn't. This simply reminds me of a beautiful friendship I lost."

Sobs wrack through his body. "Why, God. Why are you doing this to me," he wails. "Yo-you promised m-me, no m-more fun-funerals. Tell me w-why, I am standing in fr-front of m-my fri-friend's grave."

The male eavesdropping feels his heart clenching. moving from behind the wall and takes soft steps towards the other male. He watches as the other slowly sinks to the ground, hand digging into the ground. Once he reaches the crouched figure, his arm slowly wraps around the pair of shoulders.

The figure freezes momentarily before turning to slightly look at who it was and immediately stares at the ground. "H-hyung," he greets, trying to pretend he didn't break down.

All of a sudden, he was engulfed by a hug, his eyes widen in shock. But after a split second, it softens and his arms raises to wrap around the older. We're all hurting. some more than others, some more obvious than others. but it doesn't mean that they aren't hurting.