Appa (BTS fanfic)

Chapter 20

His eyes flew opened to see Yoongi standing in front of him with anger in his eyes. "H-H-Hyung..." he stutters.

"Why Namjoon," he says in a dangerous, low voice as the younger didn't want to lift his head up to even looked at the boy who has heard every single of his problems. "Why resort to this?"

Namjoon gripped the armrest tightly, using his free hand to wipe away his tears, sniffing.

"You know that death isn't a solution. It never is!" Yoongi exclaims as he grits his teeth. "Why are you trying to throw away your life then? Being top 1% in the nation should have meant something."

Namjoon keeps silent, feeling Yoongi's strong gaze on him. "I was miserable," he utters out softly before clearing his throat and repeated the phrase louder. "It was utter hell living that way. All I did was study without knowing what I wanted to be for my future. I was out of dreams. I always say in interviews about it but during that period of time, it felt like the lowest of lowest point in my life. I had no motivation, I felt like a robot hyung."

The leader scoffs slightly as he wiped away the fresh batch of tears with the back of his pale hand, sniffing once again. "You never knew how I felt hyung," he accuses. "So don't tell me about how everything is going to get fucking better."

Yoongi purses his lips lightly still intently gazing at Namjoon. "Do you think everyone's lives was a bed of roses?" the rapper questions. "Have you thought what would happen to Su Bin and the twins if you were gone? Have you though Bangtan will never be the same without you?! You are what makes Bangtan. You never gave up on Bangtan even with setbacks. Why now?"

"Hyung..." the leader said bitterly. "Life means nothing to me now. I feel like there is no more purpose for me to stay here any longer. I have lost all reasons to stay."

"Bangtan? Ji Woo? Min Jun? Su Bin?" Yoongi says in utter shock. "Do we not mean anything to you Namjoon?!"

"Bangtan is better off without me!" the leader yells. "Ji Woo and Min Jun stick to you and Jimin anyways. Su Bin... She'll eventually learn how to live without me..."

"What if she doesn't?" the older boy shoots back as the younger boy stared at the ground. "What if she can't collect her life back because she knows it will never be the same! She knows that the Oppa who always tutored her with so much patience was gone. How could she sit at that very same table you guys sat down at during tuition and pretend like everything is okay and that you never left her hanging? How can she do that?"

"She may have hung out a lot with Jimin ever since she stayed with us but do you know that if she gets hit by problems, the person she looks for advice is you," Yoongi says firmly, staring into Namjoon's eyes. "Sure now Hoseok has her full attention because of how he is now but if she finds out you are like this, how do you think she will feel? She chose to stay on the streets for fuck sake! She forgot how to fucking write Namjoon! But she didn't say she wanted to be gone from the surface of this Earth!"

Yoongi grabs Namjoon's arms and drags him to stand before staring deeply into his eyes. "Wake up Namjoon! Fucking wake the hell up!" Yoongi exclaims loudly before letting go the leader slowly, hands dropping to his side and his head down. "Jebal... Wake up Namjoon..."

"Hyung..." Namjoon says tiredly. How many times must he hurt the people he love? "Mianhae."

The younger flung himself at the older, hugging him tightly as he cried once again. The older slowly hugs the younger back as tightly as he could. "Please talk to us Namjoon... I don't want to wake up one day and realize you weren't able to..." Yoongi whispers in between tears before taking in a deep breath. "Because I can't imagine life without you Namjoon..."

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Today was Christmas! Jimin and Jungkook was running in and out of Bangtan room for their duet ever since early in the morning. Su Bin, being the girl, made coffee for all of the Oppas even Yoongi who hates the bitter taste of it. Namjoon and Su Bin sat on the couch, chatting while Seokjin was hurrying Taehyung to do something as Hoseok and Yoongi kept the twins well out of the busy pair's way.

"Oppa..." the female started as she remembered the scene she saw about a week ago. "Gwenchana?"

He just smiles holding onto the warm mug. "Ne," he says, looking at Su Bin. "Oppa is better."

"Yay!" she cheered as she held her mug tightly to prevent any spillage. "Oh! Oppa you do remember that Unnie's party is tonight right?"

"Ah ne," he says smiling as now it has become a routine for Su Bin to remind Namjoon every morning their schedule. "Do you have anything to wear?"

"Jong Kook Oppa is sending a dress over," she says , playing with the mug slightly. "He's always spending money on me."

"Because he's your cousin and you're by yourself," Namjoon says laughing as he patted her head but she pouts.

"But I have you Oppas!" she exclaims. "7 annoying, clumsy, handsome, adorable and mainly over protective Oppas is all I need!"

"Yah! Kim Su Bin!" Namjoon exclaims playfully. "Did you just call us clumsy and annoying?!"

She smiles sheepishly as she rubbed her neck embarrassed. "But I said handsome and adorable too!" she defends herself as she stuck a tongue out playfully.

Namjoon ruffles her hair with his free hand as she pouts slightly. "Oh~ Do you have anyone to help you with makeup?" he asks and she shakes her head furiously with wide eyes. "Wae?"

"I've never put makeup on before..." she whispers embarrassed. "I know that my eye will twitch... like crazy."

Namjoon laughs as he puts his mug down. "You're going to put make up on," he states. "If you don't, 7 annoying and clumsy Oppas will pester you to do so or apply it on ourselves."

The female's eyes widen as she remembered Rookie King when they put makeup on Suga. "Ah ne ne..." she says defeated. "Get me a makeup artist."

"Well that's easy," he says, taking his phone out and calling Bangtan's makeup artist, informing about Su Bin. She readily agrees, reassure that it is no problem since she has to do Bangtan's makeup. Namjoon thanks her and hangs up. "All done."

She finishes her coffee and put it on the table. "Please don't make me regret this..." she whispers as Namjoon looked at her curiously.

"Is there any outfit for the twins?" she wonders curiously as Namjoon had a knowing smile tugging on his lips.

"Don't worry about that," he replies with a twinkle in his eyes. "We got it covered."

"Should I be worried Oppa?" she questions but all Namjoon did was smile and she gulps nervously.

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The makeup artist told the female to wait in her room because one, the boys were going to change in the living room and two, her dress wasn't here yet. She threaten that if the boys were to enter Su Bin's room, she will personally give them a earful.

The door bell rang and Taehyung ran to get it but Jungkook was already opening the door. "Kamsahamida!" he thank the delivery guy before closing the door.

Taehyung snatched the dress had a clothing cover over it. He was about to open the cover when the makeup artist appeared and smacked the back of their heads. "You will not see the dress till Su Bin wears it!" she scolds as she takes the dress out of their hands.

On her way to Su Bin's room, she made sure all the members were attended to by her group of makeup artist. She smiled before knocking on the girl's door. "Come in," Su Bin calls out as the older opens the door, smiling. "Oh unnie."

She hangs the dress up, still not opening the cover. "Jong Kook has sent me the details of the dress. So I'll do your hair and makeup before you change into the dress okay?"

"Ne~ Kamsahamida unnie," she says as she sits in front of the vanity table.

"I'll make you into a beautiful swan by the time I'm finished with you," she says winking at her.