Am I insane? // Dan Howell x reader au

Chapter 32. Voices

"If being crazy means living life as if it matters, then dear, I don't care if I was completely insane."
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After awhile of just sitting and laying there I started getting cold as chills ran threw me, it was windy outside and I could see the trees bending as the wind pushed against it.

I turned over to dan, "dan, can we go back in?" I mumbled softly as I was begging to fall asleep yet keeping myself awake as much as I could.

"Yeah, lets go." Dan said as he sat up and put his shirt on, I had already gotten dressed and then I opened up the door, jumping out of the car as dan followed, still buttoning up his shirt.

We started walking through out the forest til we found the cabin and walked in.

"Dan!!! (Y/n)!!!!" We heard phil yell in excitement as he ran to us opening his arms up and pulling us together in a hug.

"Hey Philly." Dan smiled as he gave him a hug back.

Phil let go as he looked over to me, "did you get t-the bear?" He said softly as his eyes glistened.

I pulled the small bear out of my sleeve and handed it to him. He smiled and hugged it tightly as he gave me one quick hug and ran back over to the couch to lay down.

"Well I've already called the biggest room here, so you two can take the upstairs room." Chris smirked as he walked down stairs.

I let out a small laugh as I looked down at the floor, it was obvious that I was extremely flustered.

"Oh and when dan pisses you off there's an extra room down here." Chris joked sarcastically while winking and snapped his fingers.

Dan smirked slightly as he just shook his head in amusement.

"So what's the plan?" I questioned as I slowly walked over to the couch and sat down on the end where phil was laying.

Chris took out his phone to look at the time, "well, according to dan he wants us to go to an airport, even though we all look like we just escaped a mental asylum, oh wait we did." Chris said sarcastically as he continued to look down at his phone and walked over to fall back in a chair next to the fire.

It wasn't until Chris said that, that I realised we haven't washed our clothes in forever, I looked down to see dirt along my pants and my shirt was ripped. Then I looked over to see dans jacket was dirty and so was Chris's.

"He's right." I said bluntly as I looked over to see dans expression.

He sighed then put his hand through his hair out of frustration, "fine." He exclaimed loudly, "we can find the nearest mall and get clothes or whatever." He said throwing his hands in the air as he walked to his room and fell onto the bed.

(Dans P.o.v)

We just need to get out of New York, that's all we need to do. I may have seemed calm but I'm panicking inside, the cops are still after us, and what happens if they find us again? Do we just keep running? As if any things going to change.

YoU'rE mOrE sCaReD tHeN aNyOnE

I quickly stood up and shut the door harshly, I began to pace around the room as I started mumbling to myself as if it was uncontrollable.

ThIs iSnT gOnNa tUrN oUt wElL fOr YoU, wHy pUt hEr tHroUgH tHiS iF yOu'Re jUsT gOiNg tO lEaVe

"Just shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!" I whispered to the voices in my head that were trying to control my thoughts.

I was becoming anxious, my fist clenched as I began to breath heavily. I needed to shut my brain up with something.

ItS nOt gOiNg tO bE mE wHo dEsTroYs yOu

"Shut up!" I yelled as my first shot into a wall out of anger, my fist became red and beat.

"Shit." I mumbled to myself as I looked to see the whole in the wall.

(Y/n) ran in, "what the hell dan?" She asked as she looked at the huge hole in the wall then down at my fist.

I looked at her, for some reason I was just in a trance it was as if I didn't even hear what she asked but I was just admiring her until I heard her voice yell out dan a couple times snapping me out of it.

"S-sorry, I'm just feeling weird today..."