Am I insane? // Dan Howell x reader au

Chapter 11. Fighting feelings

"If you can't wake up from the nightmare maybe you're not asleep."
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I sat in the back corner trying to catch my breath as what just happened kept replaying it's self back in my head as everyone quickly got into the van. Chris driving away quickly, "What happened back there?" Pj asked.

"Well (y/n) almost got us all caught." Dan said while staring at me, his eyes dilated as he looked into mine.

"You had a gun too her head, why didn't you just pull the trigger?!" Chris yelled as he drove down the ally way.

Dan paused as if he stopped to contemplate something, "Keep driving Chris." He commanded completely ignoring Chris's question.

Chris rolled his eyes as he drove a bit faster putting his foot on the petal.

I stared down at the floor to scared to look up for the fear of getting yelled at or worse, hurt. Until I felt a hand grab mine, I looked up to see phil with a worried look, "I don't want them to hurt you.." he whispered as he sniffled his nose. I gave phil a small reassuring smile but was interrupted as I heard what the plan was.

"So we just keep going until we get to the airport?" Pj asked, in all honesty he seemed to be the calmest one here. He was laid back, his arm over one of the chairs.

"Airport?!" I asked loudly as I jumped up getting ready to argue against it.

Dan gave me a death glare that basically said, 'shut up.' But I ignored it as I was way too stressed to concentrate on being quiet.

"Dan I want to know where we are going, now." I demanded making my voice serious and steady to maybe seem like I wasn't scared.

Dan laughed at me thinking I was completely oblivious, "Chris, the plane leaves at 21:00. We need to go there quickly." Dan said rushing Chris and completely ignoring my question as he looked over and smirked at me.

I folded my arms feeling uncomfortable and scooted back some so I had my own personal space in the corner. There was no way I was getting out of here, but I wasn't going to cry about it, I had to fight back at one point...I just don't know how. I sighed realising how weak I actually was and rearranged my legs out of uncomfortableness.

Pj looked at me and gave me an apologetic look, 'it will be okay..' he mouthed without actually saying words.

I gave him a small smile then looked down at the van floor to rethink everything.

I felt so tired and worn out after everything that happened today, my body was weak and fragile. I laid my head against the van wall...

After falling asleep for a couple minutes I was interrupted by phil coming over and tapping my shoulder lightly.

I opened my eyes while yawning putting a hand over my mouth, "yeah Philly?" I asked.

"S-sorry, I just wanted to know if I can sleep next to y-you...Everyone's arguing and it's scaring me." He said as his lip was quivering, and his eyes were watery.

I paused for a second then thoughtlessly gave phil a hug, "of course." I answered.

He smiled happily and sniffles while laying his head on my lap, he drifted off to sleep quickly yet in his sleep he started whispering, "goodnight mommy..." he mumbled.

I felt my heart drop as I looked down at phil in sorrow, 'I'm sorry, you don't deserve this.' I whispered so quietly i honestly think I was the only one who heard it.

After that I feel asleep and rested my eyes as the tired boy on my lap slept away.