Sora & Fumiko

Chapter Forty-Six

"How do I live on?"

I stared at the ceiling in my room vaguely and pondered about it silently.

"One day at a time." I told myself.

Everyday I pushed myself to go on to the next painful one. A month was a very long time for me so a year was even more overwhelming.

I had to wait one year but it was barely even six months and I couldn't even smile. Whenever I tried to stop thinking about him I cried.

The year before was hard on me but this year was absolutely difficult to deal with.

The quietness in the room blanketed the sadness I felt but at the moment I wanted to be alone. I knew I should've gone with my roommate out into town but my heart was drowning in tears.

I was unexpectedly, unchangeably and unendingly in love with Sora.

I wasn't crying but I could feel the scars across my heart.

I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him how I felt.

Why didn't I say I lo-

I held my chest and breathed heavily. I bit down on my lip and squeezed my eyes shut but I could feel pain permeating my body.

I despised myself for being so weak and tearing up so easily but I couldn't say it.

I couldn't say how I felt not even to myself.

I couldn't even say his name.

I got up to go to the bathroom and wash the tears from my face when I took notice of the wall phone.

I could call him.

My heart leapt when I thought of hearing his voice again, even if it was just his laughter.

I quickly grabbed the phone and dialed his number without thinking.

By the time I realized what I was doing, I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

Time seemed to slow as my heart froze for a second.

"S-Sora!" I finally struggled out.

Warm tears slipped down my face and I gasped and sobbed. Hearing his voice again was the sweetest agony.

I listened to his heavy breathing on the other end of the line, I couldn't speak either but I was breaking down.

"Fumiko." I held the phone closely to my chest and wept heavily and irrationally but I couldn't control myself.

I hung up immediately after because it was too much for me, the memories that were coming back.

The way he smiled and held my hand.

The way he'd embrace me and tell me not to cry.

The lust that filled his eyes when I was near him.

The way red stained his cheeks as he cried out when we were in ecstasy.

All those beautiful, sad and intense memories flooded my mind so quickly, I thought I was going to explode with grief.

I wanted Sora to hold me again. I wanted him to kiss my lips and smile at me. I wanted to feel his touch and embrace the warmth of his eyes.

I wanted him.

I wanted him.

I wanted him.

***

"We're here."