Chapter Fifteen

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I dragged my feet as I walked home, my head hanging as I felt my aching heart. The reality of my decision had hit me soon after I had left Sora.

How can I pretend that I don't love him?

I thought as I came to a halt and gazed up at the darkened blue sky. I felt the pain in my heart deepen as I recalled the saddened expression on his face.

He's so caring and I know he must have felt my sadness when I left him....

My eyes widened as I understood the problem this was going to cause.

Oh no! If he can read my emotions so clearly, soon he'll find out that I have fallen for him. I can't let that happen! I'll have to hide my emotions better if I'm to keep our friendship.

But.... how am I going to do this?

My mind continued to wander as I made my way down the street, until I came to a stop at my house. I sighed before walking up to it and opening the door, as I slipped inside I saw my mother and father at the table waiting for me. It was strange how they always waited for me before starting dinner, but I suppose it was what parents did.

"Fumiko, you're finally home. Was everything okay at Sora's" my mother asked turning her attention to me. I said nothing and just shrugged, not really in the mood to talk about it. The way Sora and I had departed really put a damper on my mood even though I had an exciting day with Mr. and Mrs. Saito.

While I sat at the dinner table It was relatively quiet as no one said much. I didn't have much for an appetite either, even though I hadn't eaten much the whole day, so I just used my fork to play around with my food. Soon I realized that my mother and father were staring at me but It didn't really bother me as my mind was stuck on the image of Sora's saddened face trying to figure out how I was going to cope with pretending I felt nothing for him.

"Fumiko honey." I lazily looked up at my mother as she spoke while giving me a light warm smile. "You left pretty early today, earlier than I usually remember you leaving on the weekends, so I'm guessing you and Sora had a lot to talk about?"

"I guess."

My parents looked at each other a little befuddled at my dreary answer but I only sighed and slouched back on my chair.

"Can I be excused? I'm really tired and I want to lie down in my room." I said as I stood up and pushed back my chair.

"Um...alright."

"Thanks." I sighed again as I headed towards my room.

***

While I sat on the floor by the edge of my bed, I began feeling the weight of the burden I would carry by keeping the feelings I had for Sora a secret.

I didn't want to feel the way I did but I smiled and tried to focus on something else but soon my mind flashed back to Sora.

All I want is to tell him how I feel. Maybe I could....

I rapidly shook my head as I thought it through and realised that confessing to Sora wasn't going to work. I then began to imagine the embarrassing scene it would make.

Sora would probably laugh at me! I mean, I'm just like those boy band fan girls at my school, falling for someone I may never be with - immature and childish . Sora probably wouldn't take me seriously anymore, and if that happens he'll never open up to me again.

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