COMPLETED // i don't want to hurt anymore - enoch o'connor x reader

Chapter 10 - Worry

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

"Where's Enoch?" I repeated. The others just stood there, eyes wide and mouths open. Bronwyn stepped forward. "Didn't he say he was going to get sheep's hearts or something? He might've just taken a detour, and, to be honest, he's probably at the house already," she said hopefully. I started to feel a bit sick. "But... He would've told us, right? He never said anything about it after we'd been to the pub."
Millard snorted. "I don't think any of us were saying anything of much sense after the pub." Emma laughed, and I looked around, unbelievingly. "How can you be like this?" I cried. " Enoch could be in danger, and you're acting like bloody children! He could be dead, for fuck's sake!" That sobered them up a bit. Horace looked up quietly. "Enoch... Wouldn't die. He's clever. He's an asshole, but he's clever."
"Yes, but cleverness wouldn't get you anywhere if you were being chased by a hollow, alone, would it?" said Wyn.
"Seriously, though. If he dies... Would we really miss him that much?" Millard whispered. I slapped him hard in the face, or at least where I thought his face was, and heard him gasp with pain. "How can you say that? He's pretty much your brother! Why would anyone wish death on someone else, and how could you be so heartless, Millard?" Emma pulled me away from him. "(Y/N), calm down. Look, Millard, that was way out of order, and you know it. Anyway, we're wasting time here. We should get back home, in case there's another hollow after us." I looked at her in surprise.
"Um, are we not going to look for Enoch?" She stared at me sadly.
"It's better one of us... Well, we don't want to put ourselves in danger looking for one person..."
"I can't believe you people!" I screamed. "You're willing to just leave him?" I didn't wait for a reply. "Fine, go. Go! I'll look for him myself."
I leaned against a tree and watched them trail back to the house.

I really couldn't believe how they could be like this. Enoch had lived with them for years and years. He may have been a complete ass, but that doesn't give you the right to just let someone die. They said they wouldn't miss him. They would, I knew they would. Each little thing that he did wouldn't happen. The way he always lifted Claire up onto her chair at dinner. How he'd always stir his coffee twice clockwise, then three times anticlockwise​. The way he organised his basement. The way he brushed his hair. His clothes. His accent. His attitude. All that would be gone, and they were pretending that they wouldn't care.
After a few minutes, I decided to look for him.

I walked carefully through the woods, yelling Enoch's name, not even caring that I might be chased by another hollow. Anger with the others was clouding my vision, and all I cared about was finding him.
But after an hour, even I had to admit my efforts were futile. My yelling had turned into screaming, and a thick flow of steady tears were falling down my face. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before; I was just a normal teenager, and now I'd lost a friend to death. Wait, (Y/N), you can't think like that, I told myself, you have to stay positive.
The thing is, I didn't even know if we had been friends. We hadn't talked since Horace's dream, but if what that dream showed us was true, which I suspected it was, then we were destined to be friends. To be more than friends. Hell, we were destined to freaking fuck each other, pretty much.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and wiped away my tears. My watch had been broken ever since entering the loop, but my body clock told me that it was later than 5:30, which meant that, if and when I went back to the house, Miss Peregrine would be up to tell me off. But I knew I couldn't stay out here forever. As much as it pained me to do so, I turned back and walked the way I had come.

I reached the house within 10 minutes, and felt my heart sink as I saw that the light in Miss Peregrine's room was on. I crept around to the back of the house and snuck through the back door.
I was just walking quietly and quickly up the stairs to my room, when I heard a voice behind me.
"Going somewhere, Miss (Y/L/N)? Or rather, been somewhere, Miss (Y/L/N)?" I swore under my breath, before regaining my composure and turning to face the Headmistress. "Um... I was just in the toilet. I'm going back to bed now, though..." I said, unconvincingly. The Bird narrowed her eyes at me. "You know I don't believe that, and you know that I know where you've been tonight. Everyone else was home safely an hour ago, apart from you, of course, and Enoch. I presume he is with you?" I swallowed, and tried to stop tears from forming in my eyes, unsuccessfully. "I - I don't know. We... We were chased by a hollow. Emma managed to kill it, but Enoch... We don't know where he is." Miss Peregrine's expression instantly softened, and concern was evident on her face. "(Y/N), go up to bed. We'll sort this out in the morning. Which, for you at least, is still a couple of hours away."
So I went to bed, exhausted, and ignoring any attempts from Emma at an apology or a conversation. Worry ate away at my heart, and the only thing I could think about was Enoch.