From Me to You [Complete]

66

I marvel at the amount of sand that washes out of my hair, but it makes sense after spending so much time lying on the sand. Devy's nail polish that I applied yesterday fell off quite a bit last night, and I rub it to encourage the rest of it off. But I don't take a long shower, because I'm afraid if I do I'll start thinking a lot about what happened last night, and end up crying. The thought of thinking about it makes my stomach twist. I'm able to slip back into Ann's room to change into some nice clean, non-sandy clothes. Ann is awake and gone, probably helping with the breakfast preparations that seem to be happening in the kitchen. The rain stopped while I was showering, which means we will be eating on the back deck again.

I comb out my hair, trying to detangle the mess it got into last night. My eyes in the mirror are puffy and they feel grainy. I'll need to take out my contacts when I get home later. I put up my hair back into its bun, happy to see it firmly secured once more. I pack up all of the clothes into my bag, putting the dirty ones at the bottom so that sand doesn't get everywhere. I close up the bag and do a final inspection of the drawer to see if I missed anything in my hunt and gather.

The candy from the convenience store, which I forgot about in all the other excitement this week, is stashed in the back of the drawer. I pull it out slowly, trying not to be overcome with how many feelings it sparks in me. How much I like hanging out with Michael, and how much I need to talk to him about what happened last night. But I don't even think I know why I did what I did, or if I can bring it up to his face. The sound of his voice last night makes me blink fast as tears appear in my eyes. I unzip my bag and set the candy in a pocket on the side, so that if I have to open this bag up in the car it won't be on top for my parents to see. I take a deep breath, wipe my eyes, then lift the bag and walk into the hallway.

"Morning, Amanda," says Marc, just passing by on his way to the kitchen.

"Morning," I reply. I realize I still have no idea if our parents know we were gone last night. Marc smiles back at me and continues on his way.

"You can put that by the front door." I turn to my mom, who is coming out of the guest room. She gestures toward the bag in my hand. "I haven't unlocked the van yet."

"Okay," I reply. I turn to walk down the hallway.

"You okay?" she asks softly, crossing the hall to my side, her eyes on me. I hope I don't look too bad.

I look up at her, thankful for her concern, but I can't even begin to think about talking to my mom about what happened last night. "Yea, just tired," I say quickly. I turn away, and she follows me down the hall.

"Going to sleep helps," she says wryly. I glance at her, but she isn't looking at me. Maybe they do know about last night? Or is that just a comment about the circles under my eyes? She passes by me and heads outside to the deck.

I haul my bag over to the front door and drop it. I turn around, hoping that Michael isn't going to pop out of his room and want to talk about last night. Thankfully, it seems like the cottage is empty, and I have a second to collect myself before I venture outside. I take my time crossing to the stairs and over to the screen door, taking several calming breaths.

I shut the door behind me, squinting into the bright sunlight. The atmosphere on the deck is happy. Even Jean and Joe seem to be getting along. As soon as I spot Michael I avoid looking in his direction, glad he is in the middle of a conversation with my dad and doesn't look my way. Robert and Andy watch me approach, and I slide into a seat beside my brother, hoping I look okay. Andy's expression is hard to read, but his eyes seem to be telling me something.

"Uh, hi," I say to him, wondering what he is staring at.

His face dissolves into a smile. "Howdy," he says, turning back to his plate of scrambled eggs. Alice passes me a plate of the same, and I thank her. "You okay?" Andy asks under his breath, just before he tips a glass of apple juice into his mouth.

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. I feel like if he really knew what happened last night he wouldn't be so nonchalant. Maybe I look even worse than I thought since both mom and Andy noticed. I decide to keep my head down to avoid getting asked about it another time.

"Uh, yep," I reply quietly. I pick up a large forkful of eggs from my plate and eat them, happy to find them still warm.

"Want some juice?" Robert asks from my other side. He offers the juice jug to me.

"Yes, please," I say, looking over at him. Out of my peripheral vision I can see Michael watching me. I swallow at the feeling of his eyes on me, and accept a full glass of juice from Robert.

"To doing this again!" my dad says from down the table. We all obediently lift our glasses and clink them together. Four of us younger people have juice, while the rest drink coffee. I take a long sip of my drink.

Jean and my dad are talking about some kind of insulation that seems to be the next best thing. Marc is listening to their discussion with interest. My mom and Ann are trying to convince Alice to read a book series that they both enjoy. Joe has his hand on Ann's on the table. They both look happier today.

"Toast?" Andy says. "Last piece." He dangles it in front of my face.

"Yes, thanks," I reply, snatching it out of his hand. He grins at me. I give him a small smile back, thankful that he's around to make me laugh, and that he clearly doesn't know about last night –at least I hope he'd act differently if he knew. I crunch away on the toast, not really sure if I want to rush so that I can get away from everyone's scrutiny or if I should eat as slowly as possible so that we don't have to leave so soon.

I accidentally look in Michael's direction as I listen to the conversations around the table. Michael's brown eyes stare at me for a second, and I feel a flush in my cheeks. He looks tired. We both look away. I have no idea what he is thinking, or has been thinking about since what happened last night.

"So, what was that game you were playing at Mick's house?" I say, turning to Robert. I need something to hold my attention.

As usual, Robert is happy to give me a thorough explanation of Halo, which I have never played or heard of. I also get to hear detailed versions of the battles that happened between Andy and Robert, where in Robert makes sure I know who holds the winning title. Andy manages to come to his defense just in time. I sit back and enjoy the playful banter between them, eating my breakfast without attention on me, and without having to really participate either.