Doubt It Gets Better ● (Colby Brock)

Ch. 15 Accusation

I regained some of my senses to reply. "But I didn't do anything." I said quietly.

He gave me a stern look.

"We should just leave before it gets worse. It's his party anyways." Colby whispered in my ear.

"Um o...okay."

Kennedy was smirking the whole time as we left the house.

"So what happened back there?" Jendell asked us as we were walking to the cars.

"I'll tell you later, but in the mean time, do you mind if I take Sadie home?" Colby asked, holding me so I wouldn't loose my balance.

"I was gonna go get some food, but yah I don't mind. Just make sure she drinks some water."

"Yah, I will. I'll see you later Jendell."

"Bye dudes. Don't do anything stupid."

"Bye." I whispered.

We walked over to Colby's car and he opened the passenger door so I can get in. After he got in the car, he started driving. The car ride was silent for some time until he started slowing down and stopped on the side of the road.

I was a little nervous. Why did he stop.

He reached into the back and took out a bottle of water, handing it to me.

"Th...thanks." I said quietly as I took a swig of water. After I finished drinking the rest of it, I felt a little better. I looked over at Colby and he was looking back at me with concern. I gave him a questionable look and he finally spoke.

"Um... I saw your cuts."

I was shocked. How did he find out?

I felt discomfort. "H..how did you know?"

"This morning when you got out of the shower I....I saw your wrist."

How was I so careless. I'm so stupid.

"C..can I see it?" He asked.

I shook my head no. I felt ashamed.

"Sadie, please let me see it." Colby pleaded.

I hesitated, unsure of what I should do, but after some time I slowly lifted my arm and slid my sleeve off of my wrist.

I heard him suck in his breath as he took my arm and examined it. I felt a drop of liquid fall on my hand and I looked up seeing that Colby was crying.

"Why Sadie? Why did you do it?" He croaked.

I didn't reply. I didn't want to cry even though it was hard not to.

"D...do you have more?" He whispered.

I nodded slowly before sliding my sleeve off of my other wrist and lifting my top up so he could see the ones on the sides of my stomach. I was wearing jeans so I couldn't show him the ones on my thighs.

I looked back up at him and tears were falling down his cheeks more than before. This just made me really sad and I started tearing up.

"But why?"

I didn't reply immediately, but when I did I stared at the ground, finding a small candy wrapper so I could avoid looking at him. "I did it to distract me from the pain I felt yesterday. I thought he cared for me and I thought he actually loved or at least liked me enough not to hurt me, but I got too caught up in the relationship to see that none of those things were true. All those people that I thought I could trust that already knew about it didn't even bother telling me, letting me suffer that pain that I was too stupid to realize." I looked up to meet his eyes. "Besides Jendell, you're the only one that took the opportunity to tell me, and I really appreciate it even though I didn't believe you. I did it so I could forget my pain, but after, that pain came back, and I was hurt physically and emotionally. I was confused. I wanted to do it again but I couldn't. I tried crying that pain away, but of course it didn't happen." By now, tears were running down my face and I couldn't finish.

He put his arms around me in an embrace. "I'm sorry for what you've been through, but this is not good for you Sadie."

"I...I know."

He pulled away from me and grabbed my hands in his, looking straight at me. "Just promise me you won't do it again." He gave me a pleading look but I couldn't do it.

"Colby I can't promise you that, but I'll try."

He sighed. "Okay, but please try.... for me at least."

I nodded in agreement.

He managed to smile a little when I wiped his cheek with my sleeve and he did the same to me. He gently kissed me on the cheek before turning to the road and driving off, heading to my house.

I looked out the window and touched my cheek delicately where he kissed it, smiling.