Small

Snacks

When I woke up the next morning, Darren was laying facing me. He had his phone in his hands.

I pushed my bear to my side and sat up. My hair was tangled in my face. I ran my fingers through it and pushed it back over my shoulders.

"Hey, did you sleep okay?" Darren asked.

I thought that sleeping outside would scare me but the campground had cleared out the day before so there weren't as many people. And it wasn't as noisy as I was expecting it to be.

I nodded.

"Do you want something to eat? I brought some snacks I figured we could eat."

"Snacks?"

He sat up and unzipped his sleeping bag. "Yeah. Like chips and stuff."

"Oh, okay. Sure."

"They're all back in the tent so we'll have to walk back first." He put his shoes on then jumped off the bed of the truck and onto the floor.

I crawled over to him and let him help me put my shoes on as well. We gathered up the sleeping bags and Ted and walked back to the tent. The weather was nice out for being early in the morning.

Darren unzipped the tent door and held it for me to go inside. I set my sleeping bag down before I sat down on it.

Darren did the same before he pulled his backpack closer. He opened his backpack and dug out a bag of chips, some granola bars, and some water for us. He laid them out in between us and took one of the bottles of water. He lifted it to his mouth and took a long pull from it. "What do you think? It's not a healthy breakfast exactly but it's better than nothing."

I'd had far worse to eat than chips for breakfast. I took one of the granola bars and looked at the label. I couldn't read what it said but the dark brown color of it let me know it was chocolate of some kind. And I loved chocolate.

I pried the wrapper open and popped a piece of the bar into my mouth. The chocolate was slightly melted which made it taste even better. If this was the sort of thing Darren was going to be feeding me, maybe it wouldn't be so bad living with him after all.

Hating the silence that followed as we ate, I opened my mouth and asked him something. "What are we doing today? You said we were going home at some point."

He shrugged casually. "I didn't really have any plans. I just figured we could hang out by the water for a little bit before we went home."

"I don't have to get in it, do I?"

He laughed. "Not if you don't want to."

I shook my head. I didn't want to always be afraid of water but I wasn't quite ready to face my fears.

He reached into the backpack and pulled out a sippy cup. I was surprised he had brought one but I was still grateful nonetheless. He unscrewed the lid and poured one of the waters into the cup. Once it was screwed back together, he handed it over to me.

I swallowed the bite of food in my mouth and rested the cup in my lap. "Thank you."

We continued to eat in silence, using the food as an excuse to not say anything. I really hoped it wasn't always like this with him. Silence was good but there were times that it made me uncomfortable. I was always on edge and silence made me more aware of what could come next.

I brushed my hands on my pants before bringing Ted back into my arms. I felt comforted by him being close to me and covering part of my torso. It seemed stupid to think that way but at least I felt safe. That was all that mattered.

I still didn't know much about Darren. I didn't know the sort of things he was interested in or what he did for work. He was just as closed off as I was but yet... it felt natural for him to be that way. For me, it was because I was too scared to open up. I didn't know how to even talk about the stuff I'd been through. Would he understand or would he just get mad at me for complaining?

Maybe that was part of the reason I didn't open up.

Darren put away the chips and the extra water and raked a hand through his hair. "Ready?"

---

After changing into new clothes, we headed out of the tent and walked to the beach. The water reflected the bright sun and looked like it wanted to blind us.

It made me happy that it was nice out on our last day. Yet I wasn't sure I wanted to leave. I was having fun being camping even if we didn't really do much. I wasn't sure what was waiting on me when I got back. I didn't know what would happen between Darren and me either.

There was still so much I'd have to figure out and it made me feel overwhelmed.

I kicked my shoes off my feet and walked through the sand. It was warm on my feet and squished under my toes. I took slow steps toward the water, testing myself to see how far was too far. I didn't want to get into the water more than my ankles. I just wanted to see how I felt about it first.

The water was cold on my feet but I didn't mind. The very edge of the water was clear enough that I could see the sand under it. Anything beyond it was too dark through the dirty, murky water.

It was such a peaceful place. No wonder Darren wanted to go camping so quickly. I thought it was a little stupid to go camping so soon after he got me but maybe it was a nice break for both of us. He'd made just as tough a decision in taking me in as I did going with him. Even if I wasn't given a choice.

I didn't know Darren enough but just from the first few days with him, I felt safe. I felt comfortable. I wasn't on edge all the time, waiting for the next lash or rude comment to come my way. I was able to just be me and enjoy the things around me.

I was finding that I liked camping even if the concept was still new to me. The people around us kept to themselves and didn't bother us. I didn't feel like I needed to hide who I was around them.

I hugged Ted to my chest and took deep breaths in through my nose, enjoying the moment I was in. Eventually, we'd have to go back home but for now, I could enjoy the moment I was in.