My Friend's Will Accomplished {Part 2}

Chapter 34: Losing Ties...

"Seriously, I mean it. The moment they told me you had an accident, I won't hide, I blamed it on myself.... I blamed the person who hurt you."

"Honey, no," I said as he placed his hand over mine, still kneeling in front of me.

"I felt in that moment that if I lose you, I'll lose what I call life. I'm just done with people leaving, Alaria, some of them are still next to me, but not here. Malik's death is something huge, unforgettable for me. It's different, the pain was different. He's my friend and you're my fiance. But, my lady, you are the thing he asked me to take care of and you were dying in front of my eyes. I felt so weak and helpless. No one knows what I feel towards you, what your love to me means. But, then, even you don't know how much I love you. I promise you that I'll hurt you and I'll screw up at showing my love, but I promise you that I'll love you every day as today. The way I saw myself hurt and incapable, I felt how much I've roamed my life around you without realizing that even. Strong men don't cry but damn it, let me be weak if I'll keep my emotions from you. Do you know what I felt? I was broken down and burned out most probably." He stopped and my heart stopped with his love. Can rarely spoke those long speeches were he put his deep emotions into words, but still is speechless. I loved this side of him... Why can't Natalia come and listen to this? This is the best thing ever, this gives the best feeling. This is so unfair. Why?

"I... I.... I'm sorry." I couldn't say it out loud, the 'I love you'... He kissed my head, too gently... This made me feel better, already. We sat in that silence as he was next to me.

"Can you take me upstairs?" I said after about fifteen minutes, and he agreed, taking me back inside, past the corridor, the cafeteria, to the elevator, past the nurse section, rooms and into my room: 368. He was helping me stand, but it was hard with one arm to touch and my headache increasing.

"Stop.." I stopped him, just as I sat on the bed and was about to lie on it. I couldn't keep anymore, "I... I wa..." I was out of breath while talking and it played the role of being a deep speaker.

"Sweet girl, just relax and we'll talk later." He said, holding my arm but I didn't move it.

"NO...." I refused as he relaxed and stood there waiting.... Do it, Alaria, just end it, "I'm trying, Can, I've tried a lot with us. But.... NO! It's not working... We cannot do this to ourselves and to the people around us. It's enough and too much. You can't just hurt and hurt, and let me pay. If the price was me, then.... it'll be losing me. It's not a game, we are not playing hide and seek, we are grown ups. I can't and won't be able to forgive you for losing Daria or anyone else. Or, for hiding all of that sh*t from me, I would've found out anyway. I....." FREAKING SAY IT ALARIA, ONE LAST TIME, "I love you..." It came more of a whisper, but throaty and all of that happened without looking into his face, " But, no. Love is not like this. Love is not hurting everyone around us and stopping their happiness to live this love." When I finished the words, right when I finished my words, my eyes met his. His were confused, more than anything confused. A mess of anger, hurt, sadness, brokenness, pity, irritation, and drain. I didn't feel better about having Natalia again, I felt like I wanted to take those words back, but they were true. Can didn't say anything, he just held my arm to help me lie down. I was panting gasps.

"Can, say something." I looked at him, waiting and not moving.

"Alaria, lie down." He said in a rough voice, not rough, serious, "Lie down." He said again and this time, I obeyed and lied on the bed, leaving my feels to it.

"Aren't you going to answer?"

"Do you want me to shout and cry to relieve you? You need to relax..."

"Can, no..."

"What? Do you want me to leave? I will, but not now. The day you'll leave the hospital, I will."