Stonehearts 4: Diamond

Thirty Seven

           

I didn't really mean to forget Ferris' birthday. Ang katunayan nga niyan, may nabili akong regalo para sa kanya. I had ordered a custom made mug to partner the one his mom gave. Pero dahil sa stress ko sa chemo at sa pagsabi sa kanila ang tungkol sa sakit ko, nawala na sa isip ko ang birthday niya.

At dahil doon naging lubak-lubak ang relasyon naming dalawa. He never called nor texted me after what happened. Kahit ang good morning texts at tawag niya wala na rin. Limang araw na ganoon, and I miss him every single moment of it. Ginawa ko siyang tawagan pero hindi siya sumasagot. Sa limang araw na 'yon, tatlong beses akong pumasok pero hindi ko siya nakita sa opisina, sadyang iniiwasan niya talaga ako.

"Bryce, naglalagas na ang buhok ko." I murmured it horror before facing my bestfriend. His face was etched with worry as he reached for the strands that were falling off.

He didn't say a word. I suddenly felt the familiar distressing feeling of my tears hiding behind my eyes. Bryce hushed me before whispering things that I know were far from happening.

The doctor said that my body started to not respond to the treatment, because the multiplication of the tumor cells doubled from the last check-up. Kahit na sinabi niya na gagamit na kami ng ibang gamot, hindi pa rin mawala ang pag-aalala ko. I don't know what's happening in my body and because of that I felt powerless. If only I can command it to our liking then things would turn out better. But instead, I was stuck in a whirlwind of happenings in which I cannot control. I was stuck in a lifetime where in I always have to fight myself for my right to live.

Bago umuwi, dumaan pa kami ni Bryce sa isang shop dahil minabuti niyang bilhan ako ng sombrero para hindi ako hawak ng hawak sa buhok ko. Na-alarma kasi ako sa paglagas noon kahit na sinabihan ako ng doctor na normal na epekto iyon ng chemotherapy.

Pinagmasdan ko muna si Mama mula sa sasakyan ni Bryce nang tumigil na kami sa harap ng carinderia. Today is the day where in I planned on telling them my condition. I have piled enough strength and courage to divulge the things they should have known from the very start.

I was about to go down the car when my phone vibrated. Ferris' name popped from the screen. I didn't expect him to contact me but the thought made my heart warm. He's been treating me cold these past few days but I am in no place to complain. I had put myself in this situation and I have to bear with the consequences that go with it.

I hurriedly slide to open his text.

From: Ferris

We need to talk. Please see me at the office ASAP.

It read. My heart furiously thumped hard on my chest. The tone of his message was unsettling and terrifying. I almost don't want to see him. Tears started to sting my eyes before it started to fall on the phone's screen.

Bryce jerked his head up to look at me and down to the message I just read. I heard him cursing incoherently before I was locked in his embrace. That's all he could do whenever I break down, all he can do was to hug me and tell me things that were far from reality.

We sat there until he was able to console me. He decided to drive me to where Ferris was. I heedfully walked to the elevator once I was inside the building.

Apprehension filled me little by little with each floor the lift took. My heart pounding loudly, my breath hitching and shortening, my pulse racing, my palms sweaty.

I reached our floor and I was hesitant to walk out of the lift. I don't want to see him, especially now that I know he's furious. I want to talk to him as soon as he simmers down. I know Ferris, he usually let his anger drive him and I don't think I can take in all his fury.

I swallowed the large lump on my throat as I left three soft knocks on the door before I slowly pushed it to open. I saw Ferris with his hand on his waist and the other holding the family portrait I have in my desk.

"Ferris.." I faintly uttered.

It was as if he was hurled from a deep thinking when he turned to face me. He set the frame down and just ogled at me. He was staring at me for a good fifteen seconds before he closed his eyes as if I am something unbearable to see.

I watched him warily too. The passion and the felicity in his eyes were gone, as if it wasn't there in the first place. He was back to the Ferris I first met, the Ferris who hated me, the Ferris who wanted nothing from me.

He fixed his glasses before he took in a loud breath. "Diamond, I want you to send your resignation before 6pm tonight." He said, catatonic.

I drew a sharp breath. Even though I was dreading for the worst, I still wasn't ready to hear the words coming straight from his mouth. I wrapped my arms around myself, not knowing where to start and what to say.

"Hindi maganda na laging kang uma-absent ng walang rason. And I'm sorry if I have to mix my personal agendas with work. It's highly unprofessional for me to court one of my employess."

"W-what do you mean?" I ghostly whispered.

He again fix his glasses before looking me at the eye, telling me that the he meant the things he was about to say. "Everything Bona said was true. Titigil na ako sa panliligaw sa'yo. Gusto ko lang naman talaga malaman kung kaya kitang paikutin and I did."

I closed my eyes, wishing that once I opened them I will be out of this nightmare. I am slowly losing my life, I don't know what to do if I lose Ferris too.

But when I opened them, I was still on the same spot, staring at the man who promised me everything, and now the man who's telling me that all he said and did were all lies.

"Ayoko namang mahirapan tayong dalawa sa trabaho dahil sa naging sitwasyon natin. And I also don't want to terminate you because I don't want to ruin you working record. Kaya mas maganda ng ikaw ang magpasa ng resignation mo sa HR."

I tried hard not to cry, tried hard to not let a sob escpae my mouth. I rubbed my arms, forcing a smile on my lips. "G-ganoon ba Sir? S-sige. Magpapasa na ako mamaya." I agreed, eventhough I don't want to.

But what he said was enough for me to leave him. Tama na 'yon para pilitin kong alisin siya sa sistema ko kahit alam kong imposibleng mangyari.

He too smiled at me before nodding his head, "Okay. I will be waiting for it Miss Timbresa, that would be all."