Stonehearts 4: Diamond

Thirty One

I gently opened my eyes, the light blinding me. I squinted until I got used to the brightness of the room. I don't know where I am.

I sat up, holding my head in the process. It felt like I was bashed with something hard. Then the curtains opened, revealing Bryce to me.

"Bryce.." I called out, my voice hoarse. There was something wrong with the way he looked at me. His eyes were doleful and I can't stand it.

He sat at my bedside, his face ashen and dejected. I gulped, my throat suddenly running dry. "Bryce, what is it?" I again tried.

He reached for my hand and examined the bruises there. Mga pasang hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling. Napailing siya bago nagtaas ng tingin.

"Aya, gaano na katagal ang mga pasa mo?" His voice was quiet. Extremely quiet that I get goosebumps from it.

"I don't know." I answered, my lungs suddenly incapable of giving me sufficient air.

Then there were tears appearing from the corner of his eyes. He gripped my hand tight before he brought it to his lips.

"Bryce..ano 'yon? Natatakot na ako." Naiiyak na tugon ko habang nakatingin sa kanya.

"Your blood test results was referred to a Hematologist. But I talked to the Doctor Aya, he said..." Then his voice trailed off.

I bit my lip, dreading for the words he can't concretize. "Bryce sabihin mo na.." udyok ko sa kanya.

"He said there's a big possibility that you have Leukemia." And it felt as if the whole world toppled on my shoulders. Mg lungs constricting, my heart beating loudly. Did he say Leukemia?

He abruptly reached for my face, wiping the tears that had escaped my eyes. I darted my eyes down before I started fidgeting my fingers. Leukemia? Gaano pa katagal ang mabibigay sa'kin? I'm too young, I just started to explore the life outside my comfort zone. Why? Why me?

My tears started staining my clothes. Hindi ko na kayang titigan pa si Bryce, hindi ko kayang tagalan ang lungkot sa mga mata niya.

I sniffed. Sana masamang panaginip lang ito. Sana magising na ako. I closed my eyes, wishing that once I open them, things will return to the way it used to be. Pero nakailang kurap na ako, nasa ospital pa rin kami at nasa tabi ko pa rin si Bryce na hindi na nagsasalita.

I started pinching myself, "Aya, gumising ka na.." I told myself. The tears strated pouring down hard.

Hinawakan ni Bryce ang kamay ko kaya napataas ako ng titig sa kanya. "Aya.."

Inagaw ko ang kamay ko pabalik at umiling. "Panaginip lang ito Bryce. I will wake up I promise..." I sounded helpless. He looked at me, commiseration evident in his eyes.

"Aya, tama na please.." He pleaded. I shook my head in disapproval before I slapped myself hard on the cheek. My hand stung from it.

"Gising na please...Gising na.." Pagmamakaawa ko sa sarili ko. I heard Bryce sighing before he hugged me tight.

"Aya..." 'Yon lang ang nasabi niya habang akap ako ng mahigpit.

Maayos pa naman ang lahat kanina. Nakalabas pa nga ako kasama sila Ate Gie, I was normal. Wala akong malubhang sakit. I don't have Leukemia! Pero kahit anong gawin ko, nasa ospital pa rin ako.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I knew I was sobbing inconsolably on his shoulders. How am I suppose to tell Mama and Papa about this? To Ferris?

The sound of the curtain opening broke the defeaning silence and the torture of the unwanted thoughts I am having. A guy in a white coat showed up in front of us. He was holding a clipboard, he stared at me for a while before he asked for my name.

"Diamond Timbresa." I murmured.

"Gaano na katagal ang mga pasa mo Ms. Timbresa?" He asked while he was jotting down notes.

I looked at Bryce, his hands were still intertwined with mine. "Hindi ko po alam. Pero nagsimula ko pong mapansin two months ago."

The doctor nodded his head, "Have you been experiencing frequent bleeding aside from your cycle? Nosebleeds? Bleeding gums?"

Napahinto ako sa paghinga. "I had cases of nosebleeds about two or three times doc."

"Shortness of breaths?"

Tumango ako ulit. Saka siya lumapit sa akin at may kinapa sa leeg ko. Bryce was looking nervous while the doctor examined me. A lump started clogging my throat. I was near to crying again while the doctor remained silent.

He jotted down something again before he faced me and Bryce. "Miss Timbresa, I don't know how I will break the news to you without sounding apathetic." He said with a sigh. I was just gaping at him. Alam ko na ang mga lalabas sa bibig niya pero hindi ko malaman kung bakit kailangan kong marinig nanaman ulit ang salitang tinatanggi ko.

"I opted to get a referral from a Hematologist regarding your results. But I'm not saying this to give you false hopes as to what your condition is. You have Leukemia...But we still don't know which type, hence the referral. I suggest that you come by again when your results are released so we could address it better."

The doctor barked some more pointers before he excused himself. I stared at the space he left. Things started to sink in to me. I have Leukemia. Malinaw na sa paliwanag ng doctor na may sakit ako. Pero bakit? Saan ko nakuha? Why of all people, bakit ako pa ang magkakaroon?

I buried my face on my palms and started crying. Hindi ko maproseso ang mga nangyayari. Am I dying? Pero masigla ako. I am healthy. I find it hard to believe everything the doctor said.

Nagulat na lang ako ng bigla akong akapin ni Bryce. We stayed in that position on God knows how long. Hindi nauubos ang luha ko habang iniisip kung paano ko sasabihin sa magulang ko na ang kaisa-isa nilang anak ay may malubhang sakit.

I got discharged later that day. This was unlike all my confinement. Ito na ata ang pinakamasamang pagkakataon na naospital ako.

I chose to be quiet. Kahit nang nasa loob na kami ng sasakyan, tahimik pa rin ako. Bryce gawked at me, there was pity and wretched look drawn across his face.

I stared at the road in front of us, trying to supress the tears that were stinging my eyes. "Bryce, 'wag mo munang sabihin kila Mama. O kahit kanino. Gusto ko munang makita ang resulta ng referral na sinasabi ni doc." I was able to say even though my throat was as dry as the desert.

I gulped, my voice coarser and cracking. "Kahit kay Ferris, 'wag mong sabihin sa kanya. Ako na ang bahala."

"Diamond. Hindi pa naman sure kung-"

Hindi niya naituloy dahil marahas ang ginawa kong pagtingin sa kanya. I was fuming mad but the woeful grief my disease brought was a level higher.

"Please stop Bryce.. Just stop! Hindi mo alam ang nararamdaman ko. I am sick! Hindi ko alam kung gagaling pa ako o hindi! Nagsisimula pa lang ako sa buhay ko. I will eventually die-"

Hindi ko natapos ang sinasabi ko dahil bigla akong hinigit ni Bryce at inakap ng mahigpit. I clutched on his sleeves tight as I sob my frustrations out.