Poems •Sirius Black• /editing/

Poems - 81.

Chapter 81

"Y'know, Jude," Adria whispered, her voice cracking as she sat on her bed, her baby brother sitting on her stomach with his back pressed against her knees and his eyes wide as he took her in.

Hearing her voice soothed him, as a young child he clung to her, he didn't want to let her go, and merlin she didn't want to let him go either, "A-at the hospital, there was a p-part of me that thought maybe you were to blame, maybe you where the reason that she's not here anymore, and it took me a while to finally get that out of my head, but when I looked at you, when I held you for the first time, I knew that wasn't true.

I knew you weren't the reason, something so precious as you could never do that, in fact, she left you here with me, with us. If this was her time to go, merlin I don't agree with it, but she would've, mum would've accepted that there was nothing she had to do anymore on earth and went freely, but she wouldn't have left without giving us a gift, and merlin, Jude, you are that gift," Adria sobbed, reaching out her hand to trace over the infant's cheek. His big eyes which hugely resembled his mother's stared right back at Adria, taking in every word she spoke whilst his head fell into her hand.

She was too wrapped up in her baby brother to notice the bed dip, but once she felt the movement, she turned to see Sirius with bags evident under his eyes and his face pale, "it's always a nice sound," he whispered, blinking away the tears that still flowed down his face whilst he leaned over to kiss her forehead, "hearing your voice."

"I talk to Jude," she mumbled, turning her head to capture the sight of her brother, she couldn't deny that it was hard to say his name, but the tribute to her mother made her heart swell and shatter both equally at the same time.

"I know," Sirius nodded, his hand cupping Jude's head, the touch of another hand allowed Jude, who was completely aware of his surroundings to look over in the direction of Sirius, "hey buddy," Sirius forced a smile, seeing a light in Jude which he hadn't seen around the house at all lately, he leaned forward, his hand resting atop of Jude's stomach so that the baby wouldn't fall as he sat on his sister, and Sirius softly pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead.

"He always seems happier around you," Adria whispered, unsure if the small smile that captured her lips was genuine or forced, "he loves you so much."

"Not as much as you, Ads," Sirius mumbled, watching as the boy fell forward, landing gently on Adria who didn't move an inch from how light the child was. Jude let a wide yawn escape his mouth, reaching out his hands he clutched Adria's shirt tightly, his eyes closing and his breathing calming.

"H-how can I leave him?" Adria choked out, supressing the sob ready to leave her lips, seeing as Jude had just fallen asleep, she really didn't want to startle him, "h-how can I just go back to Hogwarts and leave him, and leave my dad, and B-Benji, oh Benji, he's so crushed, and A-Alf, I can't do that, Sirius, I can't!" she cried, clasping her hand over her mouth as she shook her head.

Sirius' heart was already broken, but seeing Adria break down, seeing her cry which he had over the last week was enough pain to render him useless, but he couldn't do that. He had to help her, and my god, he did.

He lifted Jude from where he lay, cradling him in his arms no matter how much Adria protested for him back, he ignored her, pushing himself up from where he sat and placing Jude in the crib beside Adria's bed. As much as Douglas wanted Jude with him, Adria wouldn't allow it, she just couldn't be without the boy, she was attached to him almost instantly.

"W-why did you do that?" Adria cried, ready to push herself up to retrieve him, but Sirius merely pulled her onto his lap, trapping her in his embrace whilst her cries where muffled by the fabric of his shirt.