Poems •Sirius Black• /editing/

Poems - 79.

Douglas couldn't help it anymore, at the mention of his wife, he shattered, rendered useless as he fell to the floor, sobs wracking his body to the point that Alfie had to retrieve him, help him up, carry his weight as well as his own, "dad, what's wrong, what's happened?"

"Y-your mother," Douglas spoke through gritted teeth, feeling physically pained that he had to deliver the news to his children, "she didn't make it through the pregnancy-"

"Wha-"

"There was complications with the birth, a blood clot developed in her stomach due to the pressure of the baby, s-she died whilst giving birth to him," Douglas was able to keep his composure for as little time as it took to tell his children what happened, but then, he couldn't help himself, he sobbed, his voice strangled, cracked in the back of his throat, into the shirt of Alfie.

"No, no, no!" Adria gasped, looking over at Benji who looked right at her.

She left Sirius.

Not on purpose did she leave him alone, with his hand clasped over his mouth and tears streaming down his face too that his mum, the woman that treated him like she was his own, who welcomed him with open arms, who was everything that his own mother wasn't was not here, had passed, he couldn't bare it. He fell into the reception desk, his hand curled to a fist which he let bang off the wood, sending pain shaking up his wrist, a shock which jolted his heart, which allowed him to scream, "No!" he couldn't, he was relieved that Adria wasn't in his arms because he wouldn't be able to carry both of their weight that the woman in which he truly loved wasn't around, was gone.

"Benji," Adria whispered, shaking her head furiously, her hand clasped over her mouth, her tears streaming down her face to the point where she couldn't carry her own weight anymore, she was screaming, sobs wracking through her whole body in so much pain.

"Why not me!" she screamed, shaking her head, "Why mum, why mum?!" she repeated over and over again, shaking her head as she caused a scene, a scene she did not care about, nor did her family.

She longed to take her mother's place, she didn't care if she was dead or not, her mother's life was far more important than her own, in her eyes. If she had died, if Adria had died, at least her parents would be together, at least they could mourn together, but her father had no one, she couldn't handle the pain she felt.

She sobbed, her throat burning painfully at the contact of her voice, her cheeks stinging with tears so painful that she tried to blink them away, but she had other things to worry about. She clung to her twin, her hand gripped at the fabric of his t-shirt and his arms wrapped tightly around her, feeling his tears fall onto her skin through the soaked fabric, already wet with his tears.

She was rendered speechless, a rage inside of her that the doctors couldn't help her mother, but she was drained, weak, knowing she was unable to do anything for her mother, but wished so painfully that she could.

Benji was trying his best to not do anything irrational, but he was broken. He cried into his sister, his arms around her tightly and his face contorted to painful sadness, he longed for one last glimpse of his mother, a reminder that she was there, but she wasn't. he was always a mother's boy, he barely left her side when he was young and he wished now that he had spent more time with her, time that neither of them knew was limited.

Alina couldn't process the words, she understood clearly what had happened, her sobs told everyone that, but she couldn't find it in herself to do anything. She thought she was strong, wished she was able to comfort her family but she couldn't find it in herself to move, to be able to walk to Adria and hug her, to tell Benji that things would be okay, to let Alfie cry, she just simply couldn't, because her mother was one of the only people ever in her life to believe in her abilities to do anything, but here Alina was now, proving her wrong.

And that pained her more than anything.

Lia was terrified, she had evidence for something she didn't truly realise, but now she had. Everyone she loved had lost a battle bigger than themselves. Her parents didn't love her any more for something she couldn't help, she hadn't any friends because she was scared of their reactions, and now, one of the only people who had truly supported her and believed her was dead, and she was terrified on what had realised.

"Not mum, not mum," Adria whispered, her eyes trailing to Sirius whose pain shone brightly in his grey eyes. He was emotionless, his tears streaming down his face but his lips where tightly shut and his cheeks streaked with tears he hadn't bothered to wipe.

He sat against the wall, on the floor with his legs out in front of him, watching over the scene, watching as a family, the family he loved with all his heart had lost someone, lost the glue that brought them all together, it was painful, he felt as though he was being tortured that he had to look at the tears on all of their faces.

But his mouth finally parted, and his hand wiped his tears, and he tried his best, my god did he try to force a smile on to his face when he realised that the love of his life, the beauty of Adria Hopkins, her blue eyes, filled with tears and sadness stared right at him.

He sat up, reaching out for her hand which she slowly, and reluctantly took, allowing Benji to grab his other sister, allowing for Alina to sob, to show the emotion she tried to supress, Benji begged to be a role model to his little brother, but he was unknowingly one of Alina's biggest role models.

"Y-you don't have to pretend to not hurt, Sirius," Adria choked out, wiping away the tears he failed to do so himself, "she was a part of your life too, she was something you never had, and I'm not going to pretend that she wasn't all that you needed because we all needed her, I still need her and she's not here, and I, and i-I don't know what to do, I really don't, but I'm not going to let you suffer, I'm not going to make you comfort me whilst you suffer in silence, please don't do that."

"S-she took me in, Adria, y-your family took me in, you bought me presents, she bought me things I had never had before, she was my, my-"

"Your mother, Sirius, she was your mum, that's what she was," Adria whispered, her hands cupping Sirius' cheeks and her forehead leaning against him, feeling the weight of a migraine heavy on her head, she need some support, "a-and we can't get through this quickly, Sirius, she was the best mum, but we can try together."

"Stop it, Adria," Sirius whispered, his hand on her back, pulling her into him tightly, "stop worrying about me, stop it. She was your mum, she was your biggest role model, don't think I don't know that, stop putting on a brave face for me, for everyone."

She didn't respond, she couldn't respond because she hated that his words where true, she couldn't help herself, everyone was so terribly sad for the worst reason, a reason she never wished to believe could be true, but it was, and she was living in a nightmare she could only hope to wake up from. But for the time being, she was a broken piece of the Hopkins family, all of them where broken pieces, and the last part they needed to fix them was gone, had slipped from earth, her soul wandering in a better place where she wasn't in pain.

But Adria wondered as the tears streamed down her face that buried into Sirius chest, both of them clutching each other as they had always done, as they always needed to be with each other, be close, or touch each other as their own form of happiness, of comfort, but even though Adria was in the arms of the boy she loved, she didn't feel any happiness in that moment. Her mother left something behind, she left a piece of herself in the baby brother that Adria had yet to meet, and Adria wondered that the piece that her mother had taken with her, had obtained when she had slipped from her, could be filled with the beautiful boy, the last child Judy Hopkins could have.

Could he fill the pain in their hearts?

[A/N do you all like the new Poems cover or nooo?]