New Beginnings

Chapter 49 : Telling Jeff the truth

Chapter 49

Alex POV

"Look, you'd be acting completely different if you were the one who kissed her!" Sebastian shouted at Nick.

"But I wasn't! You were!"

"She kissed me back!"

"Which makes it worse!"

I was sitting on the bed, crying. I was watching them fight. Sebastian was trying to stand up for me, but Nick was just plain mad. I guess he hated that he never got his chance with me. He didn't think it was fair. And he wanted to tell Jeff so Jeff would be mad at Sebastian, I guess as revenge.

"You know what!? Fine! I won't tell Jeff! But you two can say goodbye to me! I'm asking for a different room assignment! And until that gets arranged, I'm going home!" Nick shouted.

He walked out, and slammed the door really hard.

I covered my face with my hands, and cried more. I can't believe what a mess this day is...

"Alex, I'm so sorry," Sebastian said, walking over.

"No. Just leave me alone. I don't want to talk anymore."

"I'm sorry..."

He left, shutting the door quietly. I shut the light off, and curled up in bed, crying.

Later...

Jeff POV

"It's getting late. Do you need to sleep here tonight? You could borrow some clothes, and one of the beds," David said.

"Um... I'm going to see if I'm allowed back, but if not, yeah, I need a place to sleep."

I got up, and walked out. I tried my door, and it was unlocked. The lights were off, so I turned one of the lamps on. Alex was curled up in bed, crying.

I didn't exactly know what to do. I hate when people cry, especially Alex. It makes me feel so bad inside, even if I didn't do anything wrong.

I quickly changed into my pjs, shut off the light, and slipped into bed beside her.

"Are you ok?" I asked, really quietly.

"No..."

"What happened?"

"Nick is moving out... It's all my fault. I'm the one who made a dumb mistake..."

"What did you do?"

"I can't tell you. You'll hate me."

"I could never hate you. You saved me from my dad."

"Jeff, if I told you, this could ruin your chances of getting better."

My heart started beating just a bit quicker. What was this big secret they were all yelling about earlier? What did Alex do that was so wrong?

"I want to know," I whispered.

"No, Jeff. You don't."

"Please tell me."

"Jeff, once I tell you, you're going to hate me. You're going to wish you never knew."

"But I want to know. Please. I won't hate you, I promise! Don't you remember all the times I did something wrong, and you promised me you wouldn't hate me for it?"

"Jeff, that was different."

"No, it's not! I could've killed myself, and you still forgave me. Whatever you did can't be as bad as that."

She didn't say anything. She just cried.

"Please. I want to know. I just want to make you feel better. I hate this."

"Jeff, a few nights ago, I kissed Sebastian. I was stressed out, and he was taking my mind off of everything, and we kissed. And it was a mistake. I don't like him the way I like you, and I was going to tell him that today. That's why I didn't want to talk to him earlier. I didn't want to make him mad, but then Nick found out. And I just didn't want you to know because I knew you'd be upset. I'm so sorry, Jeff."

I stayed completely still and silent, just thinking about everything and putting the pieces together. Today has been awfully confusing.

"Did you like it?" I whispered.

"Like what?"

"The kiss."

"Yes. But I like yours way more."

"Why are you crying?"

"Because I cheated on you, Jeff!"

"You didn't cheat on me. We're not together. I know you said you'd wait for me, but you were so stressed, and I felt so bad for doing that to you. You got a little carried away with Sebastian, but you said it was a mistake. Do you know how many mistakes I've made? And you always forgive me for them. So I need to forgive you too."

"You believe me?"

"Yeah... You said you were going to talk to Sebastian, and you've been acting weird all day. I believe you."

She wrapped her arms around me, and buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me.

"I'm not mad, ok? You said it was a mistake, and I believe you. I still trust Sebastian, and if you say it was just an accident, then I believe it. Especially since you picked me over him... I like being the favorite. I've never been anyone's favorite before. I've always been the loser everyone beats up."

"Aw, Jeffy."

"It's true. You know it is. I'm going to help you get through this, ok? Because you help me all the time. Like with math yesterday. And saving me from my dad."

"Thank you, Jeffy... I don't know how you're not mad at me."

"Well who are you crying to? Me. Not Nick. Not Sebastian. And you told me the truth. I respect that."

"You're growing up, Jeff."

"How? Why?"

"You're maturing. And you're getting better. I swear, I've imagined telling you about this a million times. And every time in my head, it ended so bad."

"Really?"

"Jeff, I had a nightmare last night that you found out, and you killed yourself. I can't lose you, Jeff. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm just scared you'll hurt yourself."

"I won't. I've been trying super hard to get better. For you. You're my motivation. I just want to make you happy. And I don't like that you're crying."

I pulled her closer to me.

"I missed this," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Real cuddles."

"What?"

"The ones we had after we broke up were fake cuddles."

Alex laughed a little.

"Yay, you smiled!"

She wiped her cheeks off, looking up at me.

"You promise you really love me? Not Sebastian?"

"I promise, Jeffy."

I leaned forward and kissed her. Her hands went to the back of my head softly. She needed this kiss just to know that I was ok, so she could be ok.

We broke apart. Alex laid her head on my chest again. 

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Jeffy."

I don't remember anything else from that night because I fell asleep, satisfied.