This Is War [Edited]

3. From Yesterday [edited]

That next morning, I signed the papers as the lawyers now handed over the documents to me.

"This is the deed to the house stating that in fact the house now belongs to you Ms. Sykes...I mean...which name do I go by?"

I looked at the lawyer, "Sykes, O'Brien is my ex-husband's name."

Mom glanced over at me as the lawyer nodded her head back at me with that look in her eyes. I knew that look, I knew that look because I got that look many times growing up. It was a look of disappointment.

My marriage was not just a disappointment to her but also to me. That time was just a bad timing situation but people are human and love is a dangerous thing.

Love can get you killed.

Dad nodded his head back at me as the lawyers got up and left the kitchen, "This is the right thing."

"So why did you give it to me?" I asked them back as they just stood in the kitchen looking down at me. "Why did you pick me to live there?"

"We thought it was right that you get something." Mom said back to me with a lump in her throat.

When you did what I did growing up, you would know the voice of when your mother wants to cry but she can't.

"What do you mean?" I looked back at Mom.

Dad looked down at me, "It's been a rough road with you. It's been hard going to bed when you leave for trips. It's been a rough road with you Victoria."

I shook my head back at him as I got up from the table, "You think I don't know that? I was the one that had to deal with the blood and dirt. That was all on me. That was my war."

Mom glanced back at me, "Vic, we are saying that maybe this is a chance for all of us to start over. We can't live like that anymore. You can't live like that anymore. The death has taken a toll on you. That death has taken a toll on us."

I looked back at her, "You have nothing on what I did."

Dad grabbed my arm, "We have a lot to say about what you did, Victoria. We have a lot to take part of. Those deaths are on our shoulders too. You are not the only person that stays awake at night worrying that what we signed you into would never follow you home."

"It won't follow me home." I said back to them.

Mom smiled at me, "We pray for that too Victoria."

"What you did with them...what you did for them...Victoria that is not something someone can walk away from with a clean conscious."

I glared back at my father, "I never said that I was ok. I never said that my conscious was clean. I killed, I took someone's father from them, someone's son or brother. I destroyed families and I walked away like nothing was wrong. What I did was not ok on any soil. I never wanna hear you say that you are the ones that are worried about what I did. What I did over there was something that I did. I did it to me sure that tomorrow as going to be ok. Blood is on my hands, their blood is on my hands!"

Mom crossed her arms back at me, "War is a hectic place but your work was different. You saw too much and heard too much."

I glanced back at her.

"I never wanted this for you. I never wanted this for you. When I agreed to take you in, I said that you would never go back there. You would never walk through those doors. You were supposed to grow up into a young lady that would meet a husband young man and live their lives out with children and grandchildren. Not this Victoria, not this world."