Brothers by Blood (Alec Lightwood twin)

Chapter 19

*Half an hour later*

JACE'S POV

By the end of Alec's story, I was in shock. I had really missed that much? I remembered when Jocelyn had tried to kill me, but I never knew that I had a "Wanted: Alive or Dead" warrant on my name! I was hurt that the Clave would do something like that, but I never really expected anything different.
"Jace? Are you alright?" Izzy asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied. My head was buzzing with questions and comments, but I decided not to voice them.
"No you're not. Tell Izzy what you told me a while ago, what Valentine did to you." Alec suggested. Oh...that. Izzy's eyes narrowed. I guessed the nervous look on my face told her that something was wrong.
"What am I missing?" She asked carefully. I looked away. "Jace, tell me please." She asked in a sooting tone. I sighed.
"When I was a baby, before I was even born, Valentine experimented on me and injected me with demon blood. He said it was to make me stronger, faster, and more lethal than any other Shadowhunter. He said his plan was to make the perfect weapon; a Shadowhunter with demon blood. I honestly don't know whether he was lying or not." I revealed quietly. Izzy looked at me in shock.
"Jace, one thing I know for sure, is that you are not evil. You would have turned on us a long time ago if you were. I can tell you that honestly. In fact, I'm not even sure you're Valentine's son. He may have raised you until you came to us, but I do not believe that he is your biological father. He's a liar, you can't believe him on this." Izzy said seriously.
"He showed me a memory." I told her.
"What?" She asked in shock.
"He showed me what he did." I revealed.
"Oh, and you actually believe that people can't manipulate memories?" She snapped.
"Like the Silent Brothers said, memories do not lie." I replied grimly.
"But they weren't your memories, Valentine showed them to you. I feel like there is more going on here. Something he is hiding from everyone, something he's not telling anyone." Izzy said. By the look on her face, she looked sure of what she was saying. She was usually right, so I decided to open my mind to the option that she was correct.
"Ok Izzy, I'll keep an open mind, but I just thought I should tell you." I replied.
"Thank you Jace. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this." She said honestly. I smiled at my siblings. I know that they are not related to me by blood, I have a bond with them that runs deeper than blood. Izzy is just as much my sister as Clary is, probably even more so. About two years after I first came to the Lightwoods, Max was born, so he has always been a little brother to me. Ben is like my big brother. He is extremely protective over all of us and will fight to the death to make sure we're all ok. I will never forgive myself for what I did to him whilst I was with Valentine, even though both he and Alec have forgiven me. Alec is more than just my brother. He's my parabatai. I care about him more than I care about myself. Our bond is one of the things I treasure the most in this world. If anything were to happen to him that I could have prevented, I would never forgive myself. I knew that Valentine would have no problem whatsoever murdering my friends, and I couldn't let that happen, so I had no choice but to go with him.

The four of us grew up together, fighting side by side, and knowing that they will always be there for me whenever I need them is the best feeling in the world.
"Jace? What are you thinking?" Alec asked, knowing the look on my face.
"Just about us." I replied.
"What do you mean?" Izzy asked.
"Would you like me to repeat my though process?" I asked. The both nodded at my offer.
"Izzy, you are just as much my sister as Clary is, probably even more so. Max is like a little brother to me since he was born about 2 years after I came to you guys, and I've seen him grow up. Ben is like my big brother. He is extremely protective over all of us and will fight to the death to make sure we're all ok. I will never forgive myself for what I did to him whilst I was with Valentine, even though both he and Alec have forgiven me. Alec, you are much more than just my brother. You're my parabatai. I care about you more than I care about myself. Our bond is one of the things I treasure the most in this world. If anything were to happen to you that I could have prevented, I would never forgive myself. I knew that Valentine would have no problem whatsoever murdering my friends and siblings, and I couldn't let that happen, so I had no choice but to go with him." I repeated.
"Aww, that's so sweet!" She said smiling, then she realised something. "Wait a minute, you said something about Alec and Ben forgiving you for something you did with Valentine but you'll never forgive yourself for it. What was it?" She asked. Shit, I shouldn't have said that. Alec and I looked at each other with a 'How do we get out of this?' look. We decided to just come clean.
"Jace, Alec, tell me. Now." Izzy said seriously.
"You cannot tell anyone. Swear by the Angel Isabelle." I said seriously. She looked stunned at what I had just asked.
"I, Isabelle Lightwood, swear by the Angel not to repeat anything you have told me or will tell me during this conversation without your prior permission." She replied. I could tell by the look on her face that she was nervous, no, scared at what we were about to tell her.
"Ok." I began. This was harder than telling them about the demon blood thing. "About half an hour after I got to Valentine's ship, he told me that he had captured a Shadowhunter and that he was trying to get information out of, but up to that point, he hadn't been able to get any information out of him even though he had been there for just over a month. No matter what form of torture they threw at him, he never spoke, not even his name." I told her. Alec already knew all of this so he didn't say anything. "He took me down to see them and that's when I found out it was Ben. I was horrified at what I saw but I had to keep an icy expression. He was shocked to see me. He called out my name and all I said back was 'Ben'. I asked for some time alone with Ben and I quizzed him on what was going on. I told him I would get him out of here somehow, but I had to figure out a plan first. Then, Ben told me to do the unthinkable." I said. I took a deep breath, not looking at Alec or Isabelle. "He asked me to torture him." I revealed. "I said no immediately, but he wouldn't hear it, I kept refusing, but he kept insisting that I do it in order to look like I was remaining loyal to Valentine. He said we would both pay the price if I didn't and that was something he couldn't have happen if there was anything he could do about it. Ben said he forgave me before I even began, but that didn't make me feel any better. I remember thinking of Alec, how hurt he would be, how he'd hate me, how he'd never forgive me for it, how I had betrayed him in the worst way possible, and how he may regret becoming my parabatai." I said, a single tear trickling down my face. I looked across at Alec and noticed the sad expression on his face.
"You never told me that." I heard Alec say in a soft voice. Did I neglect to tell him that? Oops.
"It's true." I mumbled. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Jace, I would never ever regret taking you as my parabatai. Yes, it hurt that you tortured Ben, but never would that even cross my mind." Alec told me, I could hear the sincerity in his voice and it made my heart swell.
"Thank you." I whispered, I replied, hugging him. We broke apart and he indicated for me to continue my story. I took a deep breath in and out. "So, I very reluctantly agreed. Afterwards, I drew some healing runes on him, told him I would be back after everyone went to sleep, and then I went to the deck to meet Valentine." I said. "Just so you know, the next part makes me sick to my stomach. Valentine congratulated me on how I 'dealt' with Ben. He, and I quote, "didn't think you would actually do it, considering that he is a Lightwood." I then told him that Ben meant nothing to me, which was an outright lie. But, he then brought up the fact that Alec is my parabatai. So, I said the first thing that came to my head. "I'd never replace Alec as my parabatai, nor do I regret asking him to be. But Ben and I did not part on good terms when we last saw each other." The part about Alec was true, but Ben, on the other hand, was an outright lie." I told them. "I needed to get Valentine to believe that I couldn't care less about what happened to Ben, even though I cared very deeply about him. I mean, he is pretty much my older brother. However, if I pretended that I didn't care about him, it was likely that Valentine would put me in charge of Ben and trying to get information out of him. That way, I could see him more often, and help him out. He then asked if I was the one who asked Alec to be my parabatai, not the other way around, and I said yes. He brushed off my statement when I said that. All he said was "interesting." I wasn't quite sure what he wanted from that conversation, but I did get put in charge of Ben, so that was better than nothing." I said. "Ben and I then organised it so that if we were alone, I would act as I usually do around you guys, but if someone else was with me, which didn't happen too often, I would act all cold and menacing." I told them. "Anyway, that's basically the gist of it." I finished. I looked up at Izzy and she looked like she was about to faint. Honestly, I'm not surprised. "I'm so sorry. I get it if you hate me. I hate me too." I said, looking down. I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Izzy looking at me with a sad but comforting expression.
"I don't hate you Jace. I could never hate you. I forgive you." She said softly. A small smile appeared on my face.
"Really?" I asked. She nodded before embracing me in a hug. I hugged her tightly. "Thank you." I whispered.